"Bern's Fairy Tales."

These Fairy Tales below are those that did not have room in my book. I hope that you like them well enough to buy a copy of my other five hundred and four little stories in the book pictured above.

Fairy Orchard.

A large part of the forest, her Majesty the Queen of all Fairyland decided to turn into a large orchard. In this orchard there would be all of the fruit trees that grow in Europe. Apples, pears, plums, cherries of all kinds, and many bushes such as gooseberries and many different kinds of currant red black not forgetting a large row of grape-vines Nut trees of different kinds were also to be planted in the orchard.

To do the work of clearing the trees and shrubs to make such an orchard possible Her Majesty had asked the Elves and the Leprechauns to help with the clearing of the trees and large stones. Their was no magic to be used it all had to be done by hand. This did not bother the Leprechauns all were used to hard work but the Elves complained to do all of this work and not to use magic it would take years.

The Leprechauns walked to the large area of forest and talked about what would be the best way of tackling the work involved. It was decided to chop down all of the trees and then clear away the many huge stones that lay around the forest floor. Axes were sharpened; saws were got ready and the Leprechauns working in pairs chopped down one tree after another. The work of sawing the trees into logs so that they could easily be used and moved away from the soon to be orchard it was agreed would be done by the Elves.

Day after day went by with the Leprechauns chopping down tree after tree. The Elves not to be in the way of the falling trees were to saw the tree trunks at night. The Elves asked the Fairies to help them by giving them their magic wands. Trunk after trunk could easily be sawn into logs by using magic. The Fairies refused to help with magic as her Majesty had forbidden its use.

Soon one fairy after another complained that they had lost their magic wand or it had been stolen. The Elves had stolen the magic wands and used them to saw the tree trunks. Each tree that the Leprechauns chopped down was on the very next day a pile of logs. The logs were then taken by the Farmers and piled up ready for firewood for the winter. The first farmer to find the cut up logs told all of his friends who also came to forest for this very cheap wood for the winter fires.

Her Majesty often came by and watched the busy Leprechauns, she was pleased how fast they worked and the ringing out of a Leprechauns voice of Timber as each tree fell pleased Her Majesty. Soon the Fairies that had, had their magic wands stolen by the elves went to her Majesty and told her of the loss of their magic wands. Her Majesty soon knew who had stolen the magic wands and decided to punish the Elves for not obeying her orders that no magic was to be used in the making of the huge orchard with its many fruit trees.

The chopping down of the trees came to an end the Leprechauns went to the stables and fields of those Farmers that taken firewood and led the horses with their ploughs to the now cleared forest and soon the whole area had been ploughed and the first trees were planted then the grape-vines and all of the fruit trees. Black and red currants, the gooseberry bushes were soon arranged in neat rows.

Spring, summer, autumn and winter soon passed and in the following spring all were delighted to see the first green buds on the young trees. This would indeed be a wonderful orchard with all of its fruit and nut trees. Then all realised there were no nut trees. Her Majesty knowing how much the Elves liked nuts had as a fitting punishment made sure that no nuts trees would grow in this orchard. The Elves on hearing and seeing that no nut trees had been planted were very disappointed and started to blame each other for using the stolen wands from the Fairies to saw up the tree trunks.

Some of the Elves went to Her Majesty and said they were sorry for stealing the magic wands and for using magic for sawing up the tree trunks. As a sign of the silliness of the Elves Her Majesty planted one nut tree at the four corners of the orchard. If you think that the nut trees were for the repenting Elves. No I am sorry to have to tell you that the four nut trees were for the wild animals such as the birds and the squirrels. Her Majesty did not want to hurt any animal or bird.

Strange Dream.

The night is cold; a north wind is howling around the house and I am afraid that some of the slates on the roof might blow off. Eventually I dropped off into a troubled sleep.

A light lit up the scene. A light that I had never seen before, green and blue mixed as if someone had spilled colours haphazardly into a big pot. Soon I realised that I was able to see objects. Strange objects! I have the impression that children have played with clay or perhaps even dough left over from making bread.

The shapes vaguely seen in this strange light seemed to have a life of their own. Pushing upwards only to fall flat on the ground as one looked at them. My eyes were getting accustomed to the light and I went towards one of the shapes. A long body not unlike a snake’s body the head was shaped after a human head. Two eyes a nose a weak chin with what looked like seaweed on the top of the head. Someone’s idea of human hair was not very accurate. Two arms and two very small legs made up the rest of the body.

As I got closer to the object I could see its mouth moving then I heard the sounds. Weird sounds as if the object was complaining. Listening carefully I managed to understand some of what was coming from the objects mouth. I am supposed to be a new type of human being but the fairies have as usual made a complete mess of my body, my legs and even my arms they could not do properly. I look a complete mess. Why I do not even look like a snake who ever saw a snake with arms and legs?

The object then saw me, “Hey you can you put me right?” I did not know what to say I could not help this strange object that was half snake and half human. I called out in a very loud voice, “If there are Fairies here then come and finish off this poor creature.” Nothing happened so I called again this time even louder.

Then I saw a very young Fairy slowly flying toward me. Slowly she approached and I asked her why she had left this strange creature half snake and half human here out in all weathers. Why did she not make a better job with the magic that she used?

I was not prepared for the Fairies answer which she stuttered out to me. “I got up late and forgot to cleanse my magic wand. Every Fairy must cleanse their magic wands in the rising rays of the morning sun. I overslept and thought that just this once it would not matter. I used magic to get the dough for the new being that I wanted to make. My new being was to be a Leprechaun. All went well with the head or so I thought then the body, it got out of my control I formed a snake like body. That was wrong and I should have stopped. I just could not stop. What would the other fairies say about me? Then the arms and legs they were too small and much too short. In the end I ran away, frightened at what the other fairies would say about my silly attempts to make a Leprechaun.

I thought for a few moments and then in a firm voice said, “You cannot leave this creature as it is. It is not fair and you must put the matter right. Did you clean your magic wand this morning?” “Yes,” she said, “I did a double cleaning.”

Take your magic wand and put this creature out of its misery. The Fairy raised her wand and pointed it at the snake like creature. A flash of golden sparks and the creature vanished. The Fairy was now very relieved and I took the opportunity to speak to her about making Leprechauns. It is very wrong for you to meddle with magic to make any creatures. Flowers, bushes trees and all of the other things that fairies may make with magic yes but creatures, Living creatures are born like fairies are born and all the creatures in this world. Resist in future any thoughts about making any thing but those things that fairies are allowed to make.

The fairy vanished and I awoke in my warm bed. The wind had dropped and it promised to be a nice sunny day. It was then that the first rays of the sun came streaming though my bedroom window. A thought came into my head. I hope that all fairies were awake and were cleansing their magic wands in the early morning sun.

The Old Tree.

The tree was like hundreds of other trees. In spring fresh green young buds slowly opened into leaves. The leaves covered the branches in a thick dense foliage. Flowers reddish white nearly pink appeared giving the tree a youthful appearance. In autumn the seeds known to generations of boys as conkers were ripe and whenever a wind blew the conkers fell to the ground, many were eaten by wild animals others were collected by the boys and games of conkers took place in school playgrounds or on the streets.

The conker tree or horse chestnut like nearly all trees lost it leaves in the late autumn and early winter. The tree looked somehow bare and in it’s way sad. Walking through the woods in early winter I came across a conker that was still in its green prickly shell. I picked up the conker and with some difficulty I parted the outer green shell and saw two perfectly formed conkers. One of the conkers was brown like most conkers the other was a subtle pink in colour.

I decided to take the pink looking conker to a friend that had studied botanic. Putting the pink conker in my pocket I made my way home. The conker gave off a warming heat, which I could feel through the cloth of my pocket. Taking the conker out of my pocket I placed it on the mantelpiece. The pink colour turned slowly to red; a deep red that somehow looked angry and yes dangerous. I decided to put the conker in a piece of cloth and place it in a drawer. Later looking into the drawer the deep red angry colour was gone and the conker looked once again a soft pink. I did not give the conker another thought and went about my usual routine.

A week later looking for a box of matches I opened the drawer and saw the conker. I took the conker from the drawer and placed it on the kitchen table. The conker turned a deep red again. Covering with a cloth turned it back to a pink colour. This is very mysterious I thought to myself and took the cloth off of the conker only to recover it as soon as it turned deep red. I did this for about an hour and was going to put the conker back into the drawer when a voice sounded in my ears. “Have you not got anything better to do that torment a poor seedling?”

The voice continued, “Place me in a bowl of warm milk.” I decided to do as the conker asked it was definitely the conker speaking to me. Taking a bottle of fresh milk I poured some of the milk into a saucepan and placed it onto the fire top. The milk soon was warm enough for me to touch and I poured it from the saucepan into a bowl. The conker I placed in the bowl of warm milk. “ Some sugar would make the milk taste better.” I decided to play along with what I now thought was my mind playing tricks on me. I sat at the table looking at the pink conker, the conker was getting bigger I could definitely see it growing and it was changing it’s shape. Soon a head, small but a head appeared on the body of the conker. Then as I watched two arms appeared then two legs all perfectly formed. The voice again, “More milk! More sugar! How can I grow when you do not feed me?” I am not the man to frighten easily and after all I could always place the conker back into the ground so I watched it. Hour after hour it grew. First the size of my hand then it after more warm milk and sugar it was as a big as a small dwarf.

The voice again, “Take me out of this milk, do you want me to drown?” I thought to myself he is too big to drown why he already is bigger than the bowl that I had poured the milk into. “ I am hungry I need bread and butter and a good spoonful of jam would not do me any harm.” I decided to play along with this strange being that had grown from a pink conker into a small dwarf.

“I need some clothes, you cannot let me run about like I am it is too cold, I want something warm to dress myself in. Where am I to get something to9 dress him in it is ten o’clock in the evening there are no shops open at this time. What shall I do? Going upstairs to my bedroom I saw an old doll that I had been given as a small boy. The doll was dressed in a Sailors uniform. Taking the dolls uniform, I went downstairs to the kitchen. The dwarf had wrapped itself in a paper serviette. “Here are some clothes for you, I said.”

The dwarf took the uniform and pulled it over its head, I smiled to myself on the doll the Sailor’s uniform had somehow looked all right but on this Dwarf it looked ridiculous. “I will need some shoes, it then said.” “You will have to get yourself some shoes,” I heard myself saying. “Can’t you perform magic? All small people can use magic. To my surprise a pair of small shoes perfectly made appeared on my kitchen table. Then a small thus and a brand new pair of shoes fell out of the air onto the table. “Those shoes are for you the dwarf said. Whenever I use magic to get something for myself I must get the same for the person that picked me up from the forest floor and gave me warm milk and sugar and of course my clothes. I will remain with you now for exactly fifty years. Then I will be free.

In return for you feeding me and giving me to drink and a place to live I will see that you will never go hungry or thirsty and that you will never want for anything in the time that you and I are together.

The dwarf is till with me, I have gotten used to his ways and we look after each other. He sometimes goes a bright deep red in colour especially when I upset him. But that is not very often we respect each other now. In five more years he will be gone and I am wondering what or who will take his place. I have never found any more conkers like I did that day so long ago.

First Prize.

Once many fairies worked with their hands making all kinds of things. Paper; coloured paper was cut into pretty shapes. Paper flowers were made; pretty serviettes for use at the table and many other things. Her Majesty asked the fairies why they did not make any of the paper flowers and other things. The fairies told her Majesty they were tired of making the same old things time after time.

Her Majesty thought for a while then she had an idea. A pair of scissors was to be made by a famous Leprechaun that had much experience in making metal things. The blades of the scissors were to be of special steel that was so hard that when the blades were sharpened the scissors would never become blunt. What is more the handles of the scissors were to be of solid gold.

The Leprechaun O’grady came to Fairyland and soon the charcoal that he used to melt the special metal was white hot, other Leprechauns took turns to pump the bellows to keep the glow of the charcoal at white heat. Soon O’grady was able to pour the molten metal in the moulds that he had made. When the moulds were cool enough to work on O’grady beat and shaped the scissor blades. It took him over a week to sharpen the blades. The golden handles were then fitted to the scissors. O’grady himself took the new scissors to Her Majesty.

Her Majesty was delighted at the excellent work and rewarded O’Grady well with magic gold. Her Majesty sent out messengers to all parts of Fairyland telling that all were invited to make paper flowers and or paper chains. Special small boxes suitable to put small gifts or presents in would also be able to take part in the competition. The winner would receive the newly made scissors, which were so sharp that there was nothing they could not cut through.

Fairies from all over spent hours making coloured paper flowers pretty small boxes and many other things all wanted to get the new scissors that would cut through anything even leather. The special day came along and hundreds of Fairies and other little people came to the clearing by the old oak.

Her Majesty went along the stands looking at the small neat boxes, the flowers even the cards that one could write a message on and send through the post were to be seen. Her Majesty could not make up her mind to give the scissors to; all of the paper articles were of excellent quality.

While Her Majesty had been going around the stalls to look at the paper articles the scissors had been laying on a silken cushion for all to see. The blades glinted in the sunlight the golden handles gave off that reddish gold colour the scissors indeed looked very good.

The surprise was indeed great when a Magpie swooped down and grabbed the scissors in its beak and flew off. Whether Her Majesty had arranged this to happen I do not know but she was rather pleased at the magpie taking the scissors as she really did not know who to award the scissors too all of the articles on show ere excellently made.

Fairies made other things as the years went by but the scissors were not seen again for a very long time. One day a wood cutter on going through the woods clearing the fallen trees from the last very bad storm came across the tall fur tree that had been blown down by the high winds. On the ground he saw a nest, it was the nest of the magpie that had stolen the Queens scissors. In the nest all kinds of shiny things were to be seen. Two expensive rings a pearl necklace even some small coins.

The woodcutter was delighted and hurried home with his newfound treasures. He gave the scissors and the coins to his wife. The woman looked at the scissors and told her husband it was time for her to cut his hair. She took the scissors in her hand and it was as if they were magic. She cut the man’s hair. It was as if the scissors worked of their own accord.

The woodcutter then used the scissors to cut his children’s hair, by using the scissors he gave a perfect haircut soon his fame spread far and wide he is no longer a wood cutter but a Barber thanks to his perfect scissors. Strangely enough since that day all elder sons took up the trade of hairdresser. When you are having your hair cut look to see if the Barber is using scissors with dull golden handles and bright sharp blades it might just be the scissors that the magpie stole all that time ago.

Curiosity.

Many thousands of years ago when the first fairies came to this world they chose a fairy that was very intelligent to be their new Fairy Queen. The new Queen had one drawback she was very curious about all that went on around her. Some of you would have thought that she loved to poke her nose into things that did not concern her. You would have been right she was a very nosey person.

One day the new Queen tried to find out more about this earth and all that grew in or on it. Much to her surprise Mother Nature visited her. Mother Nature did not like some of the things that the new Queen was trying to do by using the magic knowledge that she had brought with her from a planet in outer space. Mother Nature showed the new Queen how powerful she was and how much it would harm the fairies if she did not stop using magic to alter things that Mother Nature had started and watched over all of the long years that she was on this earth..

The new Queen had tried to alter some of the trees that grew in the forests. For example she put an oak tree under a magic spell so that the acorns would be used for food for the fairies. Everyone knows that many wild animals of the forests eat acorns. The new acorns that had been placed under a magic spell were now of no use to the wild animals many of which died of hunger. Mother Nature was really very upset and decided to teach the new fairy Queen a lesson.

One day a small wooden box, delicately made by expert hands floated through the ceiling of the fairy Queen. Above the wooden box a small key was to be seen floating as if it was waiting for some one to open the box with the key.

The new Queen on seeing the delicately carved box with its golden key floating above it; decided to open the box. The new Queen nearly dropped the box when she heard a voice coming from the box. “Do not open me, do not open me.”

The Queen was now very curious and could not resist the temptation to open the box. Grabbing the key she quickly opened the box. As the lid opened a flood of water came out of the box, water that quickly flooded the new Queens hut. Water rose quickly and burst open the windows and doors water nothing but water ran away from her hut. Soon the land was under water and it looked as if a new flood had hit the earth again.

The new Queen frantically tried to shut the box, she could not close the box because of the water that poured from it in such a hurry to get clear of the box. The Queen dropped the golden key and could not find it again. The Queen tried using magic to stop the water; nothing happened. The water increased and covered most of the earth.

Mother Nature had been watching all that went on in the Queens cottage and she suddenly appeared in front of the Queen whose dress was now soaking wet. “Why are you so curious?” Mother Nature asked the new Queen.  I have tried to warn you but you would not listen. All that goes on in nature does so because I Mother Nature will it so.

Fairy Queen I have a proposition to make to you. Do not try to alter any thing that I have made grow. The fairies can use their magic to make things like flowers and colour them. They can be useful when my animals have trouble getting food and help with magic to feed them. Do you agree? The fairy Queen stammered yes I agree but please stop this water. It will cause a second flood on this world and that would be terrible.

Mother Nature waved her hand and a burst of thunder rolled over the countryside and all of the water disappeared. The wooden box with its small golden key disappeared at the same time, Sometimes Her Majesty thinks that she dreamed it all but certain things reminded her of her folly in opening the small wooden box. The marks that the water made on the walls of her cottage were a constant reminder.

Rabbits and Hares.

Many years ago when the fairies first came to this world from outer space, there were millions of rabbits and hares living in the thickly wooded countries of Europe. Fairies as you all know are responsible for all of the colours on this earth. Fairies paint the flowers, the trees, bushes, even the sky, and the clouds.

Fairies are hard working little people that speak their own language when they are with each other. When other people are around, they speak the language of those that are near to them for example, In England fairies speak English, and In Wales they speak Welsh. Among themselves, all fairies speak the old language that they brought with them from a planet, which lies in the area that scientists and astronomers call Andromeda.

One year all the work that the fairies did was undone by the hares and rabbits, hares and rabbits normally eat grass but this time they ate all of the flowers and what was worse they dug up the plants and flowers to eat the roots. As quick as they could the fairies replanted and coloured the flowers and plants but It was of no use the hares and rabbits dug up and ate the roots and the stems and also the flowers even quicker.

The Fairy Queen in those far off days was a pretty woman but not very wise she always needed someone to help her. Even for simple things, she needed help. On this occasion when the fairies complained to the Fairy Queen her very first thought was to get Mother Nature to help her, after all Mother Nature was a very wise lady and always knew what to do if something went wrong. The Queen called to Mother Nature for help, Mother Nature saw what the rabbits, hares had done, and she was very angry. “I will have to kill off all of the rabbits and the hares there are far too many of them running around and the damage they are doing Is terrible,” she said.

On hearing, what Mother Nature had said the fairies were very unhappy, some even started to cry. “Why are you all so unhappy and why are some of you crying? If I get rid of all of the rabbits and hares you will be able work without them damaging your lovely plants and flowers.” The Fairy Queen asked Mother Nature Is It necessary to get rid of all of the rabbits and hares. Mother nature smiled and winked at the fairy queen. “Let us hear what the fairies have to say about my doing such a terrible thing as to killing off all of these furry little creatures.”

One of the smaller fairies that had heard what Mother Nature had said opened her small little mouth and asked Mother Nature to rethink about killing off all of the lovely little bunny rabbits especially the very young ones that were so cuddly and cute. Mother Nature said, “ There shall be a show of hands all the fairies that want the rabbits to be done away with are to raise their right hands.” There was not a single hand raised. “Well what shall I do asked Mother Nature?” One little fairy called out, “why not plant some things that the rabbits and hares really like, something that grows Into the ground and also something that grows above the ground all rabbits and hares seem to like certain roots others like the leaves of some of the plants. Let us try to grow something just for the hares and rabbits.” Show me what the rabbits and hares like the most,” said Mother Nature. Some of the fairies went away and came back with a reddish looking root the others came back with the leaves of a plant that spread out well when it grew. “These are what the rabbits and hares like the most,” one of them said.

Mother nature smiled at the fairies and said, “so be it these roots shall grow big and one or two will satisfy the hunger of the rabbits and hares. We will call this root a carrot that will make it apart from all other roots. This plant we will call a lettuce that will also help to feed them when they are hungry.” On hearing these words, the fairies started to cheer Mother Nature, who is a very wise person. Now you all know how the first carrots and lettuces came to be. If it was not for the hares and rabbits destroying the hard work of the fairies, there would never have been any need to grow something extra to feed them with and we poor humans would never have had carrots for our dinners or lettuces for the salads that we all like so much.

Captive Fairy Queen.

The way is long; I have been hiking now for over two years. My goal is to find her majesty Queen Feeanna. Queen of all the fairies, Her Majesty has been missing from fairyland for the last two years. A mysterious message in a foreign language was delivered to the wise old fairies by a stork that claimed a buzzard that lives normally In India gave the message to him. The buzzard had been promised free meat to eat for the rest of its life; it just had to deliver the message to any stork that wintered In Africa over the winter. The stork was promised no end of green frogs to eat If It delivered the message to any one of the wise old fairies. The message was really in a hollow metal tube that was fixed to the bird’s leg, in the tube a piece of parchment. Written In this strange foreign language were the words If you want the Queen back alive you have two years to find me and to bring me the written language of the fairies so that I too may have the knowledge to work all of the magic that the Fairy Queen can do.

On behalf of the wise old fairies, I went with them to the fairy university. Here, I was with the aid of magic, taught the old fairy language that only the fairies know. The professors and students at the fairy university with the help of magic soon found where Her Majesty was being held captive. High up in the mountains between India and Pakistan a cave whose walls were covered in a strange metal covering was where her majesty was being held prisoner. This metal covering was stopping Her Majesty from freeing herself with the aid of magic. I had no real time to prepare for such a hike; all I knew was that a magician that held her majesty prisoner was watching all flights to and from India and Pakistan. The only way for me to attempt to rescue her was by walking. I walked from Dartford Heath down to Dover. I boarded the ferry across to France and hiked through to Germany. Then across one border after another, the worse part of the hike was the desert then the mountains. I eventually arrived In the Himalayan Mountains not far from where the fairies and the butterflies go during the long winter months. I felt a fool having hiked all of this distance I could have used magic to go to the secret underground caves of the fairy winter quarters It would have saved me time and a lot of walking. I must admit I had become very fit through the walking and carrying my heavy rucksack. I went into one of the towns and bought myself one of the flowing robes that the men wore  and a hat; this was my disguise for the wizard holding her majesty prisoner.

I asked many people if they knew of a cave in the mountains no one gave me any information it seems that the wizard had placed a spell on all of the people. One day, while walking along a mountain path on my search for the cave I stopped to have a drink and a bite to eat from my food supply that I had brought with me. A local bird soon flew down to where I was sitting. I threw it a small piece of the bread that I was eating. It then asked me if I would also give it a drink from my water, it was very thirsty. Pouring some of the precious liquid into my cup I placed it so the bird could drink. After drinking the water and finishing off the second piece of bread that I gave It, It asked me what I was doing In the mountains, he knew that I was a stranger because none of the local people would have given it to eat and water was too precious to give to a bird.

I then told the bird about her majesty being held prisoner by the wizard; I can show you where the cave is but I cannot enter it, as there is a spell that will kill all animals that even try to enter the cave. The bird then flew In front of me as I climbed higher and higher up into the mountain. I saw that a huge stone covered the entrance to the cave. Taking the special magic wand that the professors had given to me I used the wand to roll the huge stone that once I started it rolling it raced down the steep mountain slope until there was a huge avalanche. The dust and the noise were terrible it brought the wizard to the mouth of the cave. Once again I used my wand; the wizard stopped in his movements and froze. I then walked past the wizard on into the cave. A stall parted the cave into two parts. One part where the wizard lived and worked the other was just wall.

Going to the wall I tried with my bare hands to prise one of the stones out of the wall. I next used my magic wand this moved the stones that flew past me to the mouth of the cave. The blast of stones swept the wizard who was standing as I had left him down the side of the mountain in another mighty avalanche he completely disappeared under the huge piles of rubble and stone. Looking closely at what were the remains of the wall I could see what looked like a milky bubble inside the bubble stood her majesty queen Feeanna. I could see Her Majesty but she could not see me. Looking around the cave for something to break the bubble I saw a chair. Picking up the rather heavy chair I threw it at the wall. The chair bounced right back at me. I tried to break the bubble by using the magic wand even that did not help; a material that had been used to make the bubble was something that magic could not touch.

Sitting In a corner of the cave I started thinking about fairyland. Waving my wand I brought a large colony of ants to the cave direct from the woods of Dartford Heath. Making myself small, I became the size of an ant. I directed the ants to spit their acid on to the base of the wall of the bubble. I watched and waited then after a few minutes the hole became bigger and bigger. I grew back to my normal height being very careful not to tread on the ants. The acid from the ants did a wonderful job It burned the large bubble away. I then called to Her Majesty. Shaking her head and rubbing her eyes I saw that she had been sleeping.

“How long have I been asleep she asked me? “Two years and a few months counting today, your majesty,” I replied. Taking me by the hand Her Majesty said a few words in the old fairy language, which I now understood, and we were back in fairyland. I cannot tell you what her majesty said, as I promised the fairy professors in the fairy university that I would not divulge the secret language to anyone. Her Majesty took a small piece of the bubble that the acid had not destroyed. The fairy university examined the piece of bubble and found out how It was made and now Her Majesties cottage Is built with the same material and once Her Majesty Is In her own home no magic at all In this world can touch her. The fairies have looked after my garden while I was away and I am now eating some of my fresh ripe tomatoes as I finish off writing this story for you all.

Ants.

A strong smell of smoke was in the air; I just had to find out what it was that smells so much like burning rubber. Going Into fairyland I noticed that there were no fairies and no wild life to be seen. In fact all that I saw were the flies. Have you noticed that wherever you go there are flies? I personally think that there are more flies In this world than there are ants and we all know that there are millions of ants busily working away at building their homes and getting food for their young. There are many kinds of ants all over this world; more I think than there are flies. Getting deeper into the woods I came across a clearing where someone had lit a fire. Lighting a fire in the woods is a most dangerous thing to do. It only needs a wind to come and the fire can spread very quickly burning everything that is in its way. On top of the fire was a couple of burning car tyres. The smell was coming from these burning tyres. I then noticed that the fire had been lit next to an ant’s heap.

What should I do? I saw a branch of a tree lying on the ground and I pulled the two tyres from the fire and began to beat the fire with the branch. It took quite a while for me to put out the fire. I next looked at the burning tyres they were now just smouldering and with the end of the branch and my boots I scraped earth from the floor and threw or better pushed earth all over the two tyres. Soon owing to the lack of air the fire was put out. Wiping the sweat that was by now running down my cheeks I stood for a while just
to make sure that the fire did not break out again. The bright blue flash and the small puff of smoke told me that Her Majesty Queen Feeanna, Queen of all the fairies had appeared. Her majesty has a pleasant voice and she thanked me for putting out the fire.

The fire she told me had been lit by a man that wanted to get rid of his old worn out tyres. I told Her Majesty that I would take the tyres with me when I left the woods or fairyland and would see that they were properly disposed of. “Look down to your feet Her Majesty smiled as she spoke. Looking down I saw that the ants had formed the words thank you. Then it happened I felt a small touch on my shoulder and I started to shrink, smaller and smaller until I was as small as an ant. Come with us the ants called. I understood every thing they said and I went with them deep into the ant heap.

I was surprised the ant’s home was cool, very refreshing I went with them down endless corridors. Soon we came to a series of chambers In the chambers were the babies of the ants some were still eggs and one of the ants spoke explaining to me that I had saved the lives of all of their children by putting out the fire. If ever you are in danger we have asked Her Majesty to give you the power to change into a person that can easily hide in an ant’s heap. Just as you are now, I thanked the ants once again for showing me their very interesting home and they escorted me to the outside world. Saying goodbye to me, I saw the ants getting smaller and smaller as I grew back to my normal height. Another blue flash and a small puff of smoke and Her Majesty stood beside me again. “You will In future be able to become small enough to enter an ants heap whenever you are in danger.” “Is there anything else I can do for you? Perhaps grant you a wish, or change your shape, give you another face.” I smiled, no thank you Your Majesty I am quite content to be as I am.

The woods or as I have come to know them is not just a place for the Insects and the birds and wild life, It Is the summer home of the fairies. The fairies are my friends and I am quite content to come and share the life and doings of the fairies and the bird and wild animals. I am never happier that when I am here and for people to light fires in this lovely place It Is something that no one should tolerate. Her Majesty thanked me again and disappeared in a flash of blue light with the small puff of smoke. I made my way home carrying the two burnt tyres. The next day I took the tyres to the local council and paid a small sum of money for the council to dispose of them properly. The strange thing is that the two tyres had no weight; I carried them quite easily through the town to the council yard. I wondered whether Her Majesty had made them extra light so that it would be easier for me to carry them. I am happy to tell you that later In the newspapers a plea was made for people to take their old tyres to the council to have them disposed of properly and not for people to throw them carelessly Into the countryside or what Is worse to burn them In the woods somewhere.

Sandra’s Dilemma.

The farm covers many acres of ground the farmer and his wife are well liked in the area and known for their generosity. Two children, a boy and a girl were born by the farmer’s wife and both children love the life on the farm. The boy David helps his father whenever he can and the girl Sandra, a little thing the farmer and his wife absolutely adored. In fact they tended to spoil both children. Sandra surprised her father one day by asking him if she could have one of the little pigs that one of the sows had born. Talking to his wife the farmer decided that it could do no harm for Sandra to have a pig all to herself. Both parents warned her that she was responsible for the pig. She must clean its sty and feed it and look after it, both parents were very strict about one of the children having a pet. The farmer and his wife went with Sandra to the sty where the sow with her piglets were busy doing that, that pigs seem to like doing most. They were feeding. “Which piglet do you want asked the farmer? The one with the two black ears was Sandra’s excited reply. The farmer grabbed the little pig and took it to another sty. “Now you will have to get straw so that it can make itself a bed,” said the farmer. Sandra ran to the barn coming back to the sty with armfuls of straw. Soon the piglet had made itself a bed and Sandra went Indoors for her midday lunch.

The farmer’s wife teased Sandra asking her If she wanted a piece of rope so that she could take her piglet for walks whenever she went off Into the woods. Sandra thought that, that was a good Idea and soon got her father to give her a piece of rope that she tied round the piglets back leg. I often saw her going with her piglet for walks into the woods. The fairies thought It great fun to see Sandra with her piglet. Sandra could not see the fairies, as she was too busy looking after her piglet. The piglet soon found its way to the grove of old oaks where acorns were to be found in plenty. The piglet grew, grew, and got fatter and fatter. One day the farmer said to his wife It Is time I think for that pig to be taken to the butchers it will give plenty of meat. Sandra heard what her father had to say and ran off with her pig into the woods.

While the pig ate its fill of the juicy fresh acorns Sandra sat beneath an oak tree and cried. Sandra could not see the fairies that were all wondering why this happy little girl should be crying. They came to me and asked if I could help. I had often seen young Sandra In the woods the fairies were playing all around her and they had some great fun riding on the pigs back.

I walked through the woods and pretended to be surprised at seeing Sandra. Tears streaming down her cheeks she looked so pathetic. What is the matter child I asked? Tearfully she explained to me what her father the farmer had said about her pig. She was so sad at the thought that her pig should wind up on someone’s table and be eaten. It was one of the fairies that had what I thought was a brilliant Idea. I will show the pig where the truffles lie buried in the ground. I will with the help of a little magic, make It dig out truffles that Sandra can take home to her father the farmer when he sees that his pig Is an expert truffle finder he will surely let the pig live and Sandra can come Into the woods with him no matter how big and fat he gets. The fairy, Joanfee put her plan into action she enticed the pig away from the luscious acorns and let him smell his first truffle. The pig digging away caused Sandra to look at what he was doing. The pig found a large truffle and pushed it towards Sandra. Sandra picked it up and followed the pig that soon with the help of the fairy Joanfee found another truffle then another. Soon Sandra had her pockets full of truffles also her straw hat. Running home she showed the truffles that the pig had found to her mother. Her mother excitedly took the truffles to her husband the farmer. “Where did they come from, he asked.” “Sandra’s pig found them.” There was no more talk about taking the pig to the butchers; thanks to the fairies the pig became famous for its truffle finding. Now one sees Sandra, with her pig enjoying the acorns and the fairies still ride on the pigs back.

Toad prince.

The night is warm, a full moon is peeping behind the small clouds that scurry across the skies. It looks as If the moon is playing hide and seek with the clouds. I am sitting near the banks of a stream enjoying the night air and the silence broken only by the sound of a cricket or grasshopper, the occasional croak of a frog was to be heard, all In all a lovely night to be out and at one with nature. A movement caught my eye and I thought that a small fish had surfaced to catch a fly or some other Insect. Looking closely at the bank of the river close to me I saw that I was mistaken it was not a fish but a frog. Then the moon came out from the clouds and I saw that it was not even a frog, it was a very large toad.

There was something strange about this toad, it was ugly as most toads are; it was not that there was something else that made it different to other toads. It was its right hind leg or should I say its right back leg. The leg looked slightly swollen It Is difficult to tell with just the light of the moon to light the scene. The toad half turned so that I got a better look at its back leg. Something golden was wrapped around Its leg looking closer I saw that the toad had Indeed a crown around Its leg. A proper golden princes crown, the moonlight showed quite plainly that the crown was made from gold. What I thought to myself is a crown doing wrapped around the leg of a toad. Still closely watching the toad pictures started running through my head just like In a film. I saw a young man dressed like a prince getting of a white horse. I have never seen such a magnificent animal. Standing In what looked like a palace courtyard a very pretty woman dressed in white robes with a small crown on her head stood watching the young man dismount from his white horse.

The picture changed a man appeared in the courtyard a tall man, also wearing a large crown. Calling to one of the men that came running from what looked to be the stables. It was then that the film in my head started speaking. Take the saddle off that horse and turn it out of the gates I want to see it no more. Do you understand? The man nodded and taking the saddle and the reins from the horse he led it to the gates of the palace and giving it a smack across its backside he chased the horse from the courtyard. The palace gates were immediately closed. The woman in her white robe and small crown called out in a loud voice, “why have you taken his horse away?” “He cannot help It that he does not look like you, he is too my son and has my looks and my nature that is why he is so gentle and kind to everyone.” The man angry looked at the young man and pointed a magic wand at him. From the wand came a shower of sparks and I saw the young man shrinking and turning into a large ugly toad. The crown on his head rolled onto the courtyard floor. Another wave of the wand and the crown shrank and wrapped itself round the toad’s back right leg. With a terrible look on his face he called out, “as long as the crown is on your leg you will remain a toad.” The lady with the crown ran quickly to the toad, picking it up she ran quickly to her rooms. Placing a bowl of water on the floor she told the toad that as soon as she could she would take him out Into the woods and set him free.

How long ago was this I asked the toad? Five hundred years ago came the reply. I have often tried to get the crown off from leg but it always hurts so much. I cannot get It off my leg can you perhaps help me. Wait here I will be back In a little while I know that between us we can free you from this ring. I ran home and got a packet of butter and some olive oil, I gently ran olive oil between the toad’s leg and the crown. Leaving it for a few minutes I then gently turned the crown. Slowly the crown turned and soon it moved quite freely on the leg. I then took the butter and smeared the whole of his right leg with butter right down to the webbed foot of its leg. Turning and pulling I slowly worked the crown down the toad’s leg. Holding the crown in my hand I had an Idea. Once a prince always a prince I said out loudly and placed the crown onto the toad’s head. The change was so sudden and so quick the toad grew and grew, soon I was looking at the handsome young man that I had seen dismounting from his horse in the palace courtyard.
I took the prince home with me and gave him a cooked meal and on the next day I arranged for him to go to a university. The young man is now a doctor in one of our famous London hospitals.

Wheelbarrow.

Going Into my back garden, I looked long and carefully at my neat rows of vegetables, my runner beans with the bean vines spiralling up the beanpoles. The peas were coming along nicely I decided to sew some honey melon seeds that I had bought in the local gardeners shop. The shopkeeper told me they did not need much attention just sew them in a freshly dug bed, water them well in and wait. I must say the honey melons are coming along nicely I decided to have a quiet nap in my old wheelbarrow. Taking the old tarpaulin from the barrow, I shook up the two extra large cushions and laid myself down on my old wheelbarrow. Dropping off to sleep on this warm sunny morning was no problem and if you had been there in my garden you would have heard my light snores. Nothing disturbed me no birds, no fairies, no wild animals. I was alone fast asleep in my old wheelbarrow. I woke with the feeling that something was not as It should be. Opening my eyes I saw much to my surprise that I had slept right through the day. The evening was well advanced and I must admit that the stars high in the heavens had never looked so bright. I looked and found Venus; it was then that my tummy rumbled I realised that I was hungry.

Going In to my kitchen I filled a kettle with water, got the tea-pot put some tea In the pot and waited for the kettle to boil. Taking a packet of ginger biscuits from the larder, I emptied the packet on to a plate. I realised that I was not alone in the kitchen. This did not worry me as my house and all that is in it are under the protection of her majesty queen Feeanna. I then saw much to my surprise a bogie, bogies are harmless little people rather ugly to look at but if one takes to you it will do anything for you. One should never underestimate the powers of a bogie they can and do work magically. I once saw a bogie lift a car that had run over a small boy that had run out into the road while chasing a ball. I pretended not to notice the bogie and carried on making my tea. I took another plate, cup, and saucer from the Dutch dresser and placed it on the table. The kettle boiled and I made the tea. Waiting for the tea to draw I called to the bogie. “You can come out of hiding. I can see you.” sit at the table and have some ginger snaps, would you like a cup of tea? His squawky little voice thanked me for the offer of the biscuits but did not want any tea. I had an Idea; taking a bottle of fresh milk from the fridge I asked him if he would like a drink of milk. Nodding his head excitedly he watched as I poured him a glass of the fresh milk. The bogie must have been very hungry he ate ginger snap after ginger snap and drank his milk in small sips.

Would you like to stay the night I asked him. Nodding his head he smiled and I told him that he could have the spare room at the top of the stairs on the left. He declined and I went to the airing cupboard and got him a thick warm blanket. Taking the blanket he curled himself up In front of the fireplace and wrapping himself up in the blanket he dropped off to sleep. I decided to leave the washing up until the morning and made my way up stairs to my bed. I had my wash and getting dressed in my pyjamas I got into my bed and dropped off into a good sleep.

The following morning I awoke, had my daily morning wash, and cleaned my teeth got dressed and went down stairs. I had completely forgotten the bogie. On my way down stairs I smelt the smell of freshly made tea and the smell of eggs and bacon frying. I then remembered the bogie. Good I thought he at least has made himself something to eat. Entering my kitchen I saw the bogie standing by the stove cooking the breakfast. The washing up from the previous evening had been washed, dried and replaced on the dresser. The breakfast table had been laid with two places and the bread had been cut and buttered. The plates were waiting for the eggs and bacon. Coming from the fire with the frying pan the bogie placed some rashers of fried bacon and two eggs on each plate. Placing the frying pan back on the stove he sat down to the table and I at last opened my mouth and wished him a very good morning.

“Good morning Mr. Bern,” he shyly said. “I like you; I am staying to be your house bogie.”
For a moment or two I did not know what to say then I told him he could stay as long as he wanted but first after we had finished our breakfast I would give him some new clothes, the ones he was wearing were very old and not really suitable. Taking him upstairs I found a suitcase full of clothes that one of my nephews had left behind after he had stayed for a couple of weeks one school summer holiday. The clothes fitted the bogie and he looked very good in the shirt and trousers that my nephew had left behind.

I left him in the kitchen and went on my daily walk over the heath or better, as I knew it fairyland. Here her majesty the fairy queen met me. Queen Feeanna. Smiling she asked me how I liked my new companion. Her majesty had sent the bogie to me after she had found him wandering around fairyland. He had run away from his last household because they Ill treated him and made him eat the scraps that the family left over from their meals. I sent him to you because I know you will treat him well, In return he will help with all that Is to be done In your home. Smiling again her majesty wished me a good day and vanished in a bright blue flash leaving a small puff of smoke behind her.

The weekly market at Dartford takes place on Thursdays. Having walked into town from the heath going through Lowfield Street I walked quickly to the market In Orchard Street. Here I slowed my pace and started looking seriously at the various stalls. One caught my eye, a man had written on a piece of brown paper, leather belts for sale. Best cowhide leather, crocodile skin and pig skin wallets. Dragon skin belts are very popular with the young people of today. Buy a new dragon skin belt. I did not want a new belt I had at least four in my wardrobe at home. It was the words dragon skin belts that caught my eye. Why everyone knows that dragons do not live on this world of ours they have all been killed years ago. On the spur of the moment I bought a belt supposedly made of dragon skin. Going home I went into the woods or should I say fairyland. Here I took the dragon skin belt from the bag that the stallholder had put It In. I hung it over the branch of a tree to see what the fairies would make of it. The fairies came; some looked at the belt but took no notice of it. I thought that I had seen the last of the belt when a large barn owl swooped down and taking the belt In Its beak, flew off into the woods. I thought perhaps the owl thought that it had caught a juicy snake to feed its young owlets with. I forgot about the belt and walked back home where I proceeded to cook myself a large portion of eggs, bacon and sausages for my tea.

I sat down at the table and took the first bite when a blue light or flash lit my kitchen a small puff of smoke heralded the fairy queen, Queen Feeanna. Getting up from my kitchen chair I greeted her majesty after hastily swallowing my sausage. Her majesty apologised for having disturbed my meal and took from her pocket the dragon skin belt that the owl had taken from the tree branch. The owl brought this to me telling me that you had placed it on the tree branch and that many fairies had walked past it without recognizing it for what it was. My barn owl saw it and recognised the scales on the skin and that means that someone somewhere has either killed a dragon or gotten hold of a dragon’s skin. We must go into this and find out where this skin came from. Meet me tomorrow under the old oak tree where we hold our fairy dances; I will be there at ten o’clock. Now go back to your meal, her majesty smiled and waved her hand at my meal of eggs, bacon and sausages, for a second a warm glow went over my plate and my meal was as fresh and hot as I had taken It from the frying pan.

I spent a night without much sleep I seemed to be dozing off and dreaming about a man that sold dragon skin belts, In one of my dreams I saw the man kill the dragon then peel the skin off of the flesh, a very bloody procedure I was really pleased when It was time to get up out of my bed. I had a quick wash, brushed my teeth, combed my hair and got Into a fresh suit of clothes, after all It Is not everyday that one meets a fairy queen. I arrived at the old oak tree where the fairies held their dances and saw that her majesty was there, waiting for me. I nearly did not recognise her majesty. Dressed In a simple skirt and blouse with a pair of shoes quite suitable for walking in the country she came towards me and we went off into the town of Dartford.

There was no market on this day but I had, had an Idea, the entire stall holders had to be registered with the town council and this is the right place to look for his address. Going to the council offices I soon had the address of the man that sold the dragon skin belt to me. Her majesty and I walked to the man’s house, I knocked on the front door and the man himself opened the door. I asked him straight out where he had the dragon skin belts. A man who guaranteed the belts were genuine gave the belts to me. “Dragons have not existed for many years where would he get dragon skin to make them?” I asked. Then the man told me this story. The belts were given to him by the man he did not have to pay for them and just could not resist such a bargain. There was just one condition attached to the deal. The man was given a good description of me and told that he was to make sure that I got one of the belts even If he had to give me one for nothing. He then asked me if the belts had been stolen and had he broken the law by selling them on the market. He did not want to loose his rights to sell at the Dartford market place.

Her majesty and I assured him that all was well and he had no reason to worry. We went back to my home on the heath and her majesty took the belt from her pocket. She had been carrying it with her right through our walk into town and at the man’s house. “This is real dragon’s skin I wonder where the man whoever he is got It from?” “Come and see me tomorrow by the old oak and we will see what I can find out about the man that has dragon skin belts to give away. The following day I walked into fairyland and met her majesty at the old oak. Showing me a photo of a man her majesty asked me if I knew the man. Carefully looking at the picture I recognised the man it was the wizard Mordecai. “Now I know what he was he was up to,” said her majesty. “He knows that your house is protected by my magic and he thought that if he got you to wear the dragon skin belt you would not be protected here in fairyland. He has placed a spell on the belt. The spell would have made you unable to walk or talk for a long time. He got the dragon skin from the fairy university, one of the trolls that work at the university as a cleaning woman stole the dragon skin and sold it to Mordecai. The troll has been sent back to Sweden and is no longer allowed to leave her own country. Mordecai I have now placed under the same spell that he wished upon you. He cannot move and cannot speak. The sun will have to shine for one thousand years before he will be able to move again.

The fox.

In my stories about the fairies I have told you of the times I walk in the woods and of the wild animals that I often see. Today I saw an animal that definitely did not belong here. An old fox came trotting through the woods. You might ask what is so strange about another fox. The answer is simple we have a pair of foxes who have young cubs. The cubs were born about three weeks ago cubs Is the name we give to the young of a pair of foxes. The female fox is called a vixen; the male fox is called a dog. The two foxes with their cubs chose this area to live because there were no other foxes within a couple of miles.

As soon as the two dogs met there would be a fight, if the dog with its vixen lost the fight what would happen to the vixen and her young cubs? I took another look at this new fox. There was something about It that did not look right, then I saw what was different this fox had two nasty looking fangs coming from Its mouth. The fangs would perhaps look right on a tiger but not on a fox. Fangs are very long teeth on each side of the jaw. I decided to stay and watch to make sure that nothing happened to upset the fox and vixen with their young cubs. I had not long to wait for both the fox and the vixen came trotting along one of the forest paths.

On seeing the strange fox both the male and female fox gave a sort of warning bark that was high pitched and sounded something like a cat meowing. The strange fox turned and barring its teeth it ran towards the local foxes. A furious fight took place and the local dog fox was badly bitten and his skin was ripped in paces. Both the local foxes turned and ran off. The strange fox gave what sounded like a howl of victory. He did not follow the local foxes and I wondered what his next move would be. He sat and licked his wounds he too had been bitten but the teeth of the local foxes were nothing to the fangs that this fox had. It did not take long and many of the local birds were flying around telling the news of the new fox that had fought with our local foxes.

This news soon reached the fairies and many came to see what strange beast this new fox was. The fairies had often seen our local foxes with their cubs from other years and were very concerned that this new fox with the long fangs could take over the territory. The fairies went to her majesty queen Feeanna telling her of the new fox and how terrible its teeth were. Her majesty came to see for herself. Taking one look at the new fox she decided that it did not belong here in fairyland. Its fangs were so long and so sharp that none of the other animals would stand a chance If It attacked them. I always took my shillelagh with me when I went into the woods. The shillelagh I received from Shamus my pal the Irish leprechaun. The shillelagh was magic and If anything or anyone were to attack me the shillelagh would spring from my hand and give whoever or whatever It was that attacked me a good beating. It was not very long when I heard a sound behind me; turning quickly I saw that the new fox had sprung with its jaws wide open to attack me. My shillelagh left my hand and gave the new fox a sound beating. It like the other two foxes ran off with its tail between its back legs.

Her majesty on seeing this attack on my person decided that the fox must go; it was not the kind of animal that we wanted here in our peaceful fairyland. “I think that I will turn It Into a snake,” “no your majesty a snake the poor animal would be very unhappy why not turn It Into a wolf and send It to Canada where there are many wolves.” “So be it!” said her majesty and the fox vanished in a flare of blue sparks. It is now a wolf and roams the large Canadian forests. Her majesty then waved her magic wand and I saw the vixen and her dog fox trotting down the path towards us both were completely healed It was as If the new fox with the large fangs had never been here In fairyland. Soon the cubs of the two local foxes were to be seen on their playful travels around fairyland, all of the fairies were pleased to have the young cubs again in the forest. Soon, their parents to look for a territory of their own too would turn them away. There was not enough food for so many foxes. Nothing untoward has happened here in fairyland for the last four months and soon it will be time for the fairies with all of the butterflies to spend winter underneath the Himalayan Mountains In the huge caves where the fairy queen using her magic sends them all over the cold winter months.

Red or black ribbons.

Feedee was a very pretty fairy and what is more she knew It. Feedee was always trying new ways to make herself, look even prettier. One day back last summer Feedee was picking and eating some of the lush, large blackberries that grew so well in fairyland. Looking down at her fingers Feedee noticed how the berries had stained her fingers black and blue. This gave Feedee an Idea; picking a basket full of the ripe lush blackberries she took them home and placed them all in a large pot. The berries she crushed until there was no more juice in them. The juice she poured through a silken cloth. The black juice she then brushed into her very blond hair. Feedee looking In her mirror saw that her hair was no longer blond but a terrible blue black colour with patches of her blond hair showing through the black and blue of the rest of her hair.

Going out into the woods of fairyland she met other fairies both boy and girl fairies. These fairies teased her and made her wish that she had not coloured her hair. It took four long weeks for her hair to be Its normal blond colour, no matter how long and how thorough she washed her hair It did not take the black, blue colour away. Feedee came to see me to see whether I could help her by giving her some shampoo or even some human soap. I had been asked by her majesty queen Feeanna not to give the fairies anything that could be dangerous. Instead I offered her some her a piece of bright red ribbon that I had in one of my drawers. Feedee took the ribbon and thanked me and off she went. The next I heard of her she was wearing a red ribbon tied into a bow and pinned to her chest. She told all that asked her about the red ribbon and what it was for; she said that I had given her the ribbon because I thought that she was the prettiest fairy in fairyland.

Soon strange tales were going around in fairyland the trolls were all wearing a bow pinned to their chests. The bow was of black ribbon, the trolls had found some old typewriter ribbon and had cut It into sections and made for themselves a black bow. The fairies being curious asked what the bow was for was it for being so good or for being extra brave. Everyone knew that Feedee’s ribbon was for her being the prettiest fairy in fairyland but why were the trolls who are really very ugly wearing their black ribbons. Soon nearly all of then fairies were wearing red and black ribbons. All felt that they were just as pretty as Feedee and certainly all were much prettier that the trolls. Her majesty called on me in my home. There was bright blue flash a small puff of smoke and her majesty stood in my kitchen where I was preparing my midday lunch. Her majesty asked me why all the fairies were wearing red and black ribbons and why were the trolls all wearing just black ribbons. I could not give her majesty any answers to her questions. I only knew that I had given Feedee a piece of red ribbon because I felt sorry for the state that her hair was in. Taking from her pocket the famous mirror her majesty looked into the mirror and then started to smile. Her smile soon turned into a bout of laughter, which was very catching. I did not know why her majesty was laughing but I just had to laugh with her.

Her majesty then told me that the mirror had shown that all the fairies were wearing red ribbons because they all thought that they were just as pretty as Feedee. The trolls were wearing the black ribbons because they were all so very ugly and were very proud of this fact. The fairies did not know this and they too made black bows and every time the trolls saw the fairies they burst out laughing for the trolls knew they were ugly. The fairies wore the black ribbons to show that they all thought that they were prettier than the trolls. The trolls laughed at seeing how many fairies wore the black ribbon saying they were proud to be ugly. This nonsense her majesty put and end to she turned all of the bows both red and black into glow-worms. All is well now in fairyland there are no ribbons red or black and all Is as it was before Feedee brushed her blond hair with the blackberry juice to make herself even prettier.

The beard.

Getting out of bed, I washed dressed and shaved my face with my electric razor. Going downstairs I made myself some breakfast with a pot of hot sweet tea. Then I put on my overcoat and went to the front door. I wanted to go into town to get some more plants for my flowerbeds in the back garden. In my hallway there is a full sized mirror that I always look in to make sure I am properly dressed. I got quite a shock for in the mirror my face was covered with a beard. This is ridiculous I said to myself I am sure that I had a shave before I came downstairs. Shaking my head I took my overcoat off and went back upstairs and had another shave after the shave I splashed some after-shave on my face to cool it down. This time I made sure that my face was free of any beard hairs.

In town I went to the shop where I always buy my potted plants. The shopkeeper greeted me and made a very strange remark. “Growing a beard Mr. Shaw? It certainly suits you. Putting my hand up to my face I felt the thick growth of a beard. This cannot be, I said to myself. I have had two shaves and still this beard. I paid for my potted plants and went down the road straight into the hairdressers. I have known the hairdresser for years and his first words were nice beard Mr.Shaw. I sat myself down into the barber’s chair and told him that I wanted a very close shave; all of the hair on my face must disappear. The hairdresser took an old-fashioned so-called cutthroat razor and proceeded to sharpen it by stropping it up and down a long piece of leather. Whipping up a rich creamy lather in an old mug he thickly spread the soapy foam on my face. Soon his expert hands holding the razor slid down my cheeks taking away the soapy lather and what is more Important the hair. When he had finished I looked in the shop’s mirror and felt the smoothness of my cheeks. I was free of all the hair that had made my beard. Paying the hairdresser I left the shop and walked home. I had not got far when one of my neighbours wished me a good morning and said nice beard Mr. Shaw. I was now very much alarmed what was causing my beard to grow so quickly? I decided to go to see the fairy queen, queen Feeanna to ask for her help.

Her majesty was Informed by a robin redbreast that I wished to see her and that I needed her help. I had not long to wait. A bright blue flash of light and a small whiff of smoke and her majesty stood before me. Making my bow I told her majesty about my beard and that no matter how often I shaved my beard grew again just as thick as before I shaved it off. Taking a small pair of silver scissors from her dress pocket her majesty asked me if she could cut part of my beard. Cutting off a very small part of my beard her majesty disappeared as she had come and I was left on my own in the woods of fairyland. An hour went by and her majesty reappeared as she had done before. Smiling she asked me If I had, had any visitors in the last two or three days. I quickly answered, “Yes your majesty, some pixies came to see me only the day before yesterday.” “What did the pixies do while they were in your house”? “They asked me If they could play In my attic, as you know your majesty there are all of my old toys still In the room under the roof.” smiling her majesty asked If the pixies had mended any of my toys. “Why yes your majesty they mended my old teddy bear, the bear is ever so old at least seventy years old and was missing an eye and its fur had fallen out in many places.” “The pixies asked If they could mend the teddy bear, I gave them permission and as far as I know the bear Is still In my attic, I have not seen It myself for many years as I seldom go Into the rooms under the roof.

Taking my hand her majesty said some words in the old fairy language and we were standing in my attic. Sitting In a very old chair was my teddy bear. The pixies had Indeed done a very good job on him and he now had two eyes and his fur was even thicker than when my mummy gave him to me all of those years ago. Taking a small bottle from her pocket her majesty told me to rub it into my now very long beard. As soon as I rubbed the mixture into my beard my beard disappeared. Her majesty then told me that the pixies had gone to the wise old fairies to ask them for a mixture that would make hair grow. This they used on the teddy after sewing a new eye on to its head and repairing its left ear that had been hanging off from its head. The pixies had noticed that I too was getting bald and had hardly any hair left on my head. They decided to help my hair to grow and had placed some of the mixture in my after-shave. Not being able to read English they had mistaken the bottles and had poured the mixture into my after-shave and not into my bottle of hair tonic. Her majesty and I had a really good laugh at such a simple mistake with such an outcome. I was pleased that some wizard or some witch had not bewitched me. The teddy I took to the local hospital for the sick children.

Strangers.

Walking through the woods that form part of fairyland, I noticed that the birds were not singing. There were no wild animals to be seen. Then I saw that someone had placed a simple trap along the one of many paths in the woods. I took the trap and placed It In one of my pockets; I thought that I might need it for evidence. No fairies were to be seen it was as If fairyland had moved away to some other part of the world. Running along the branch of a very old walnut tree I saw this young squirrel. Calling to him with a series of pictures that I sent from my mind to the squirrels mind, he told me this story. A stranger had dug a deep square hole in the ground and had used the old trees that had fallen in the last big storm to make a roof over the hole. This according to the squirrel was now his home; the stranger a man of about fifty years of age had placed traps all over the woods of fairyland. Not only traps but also he climbed trees and took the eggs from the nests. These he cooked and ate. The squirrel told me that it had, had a very narrow escape as it was caught in one of the traps and a fairy had come along and set him free. “The man must go,” said the squirrel or there will soon be no animals at all in the woods, most have gone with their young to another part of the land. This must be stopped I thought to myself but how? I could easily destroy the roof and fill In the hole where he now lives but he could build It up very quickly again, no I must get the help of Her Majesty the Fairy Queen, Queen Feeanna.

Walking back home deep in thought I did not notice the owl until she landed on my left shoulder; soon new pictures were flooding into my brain. I saw all that the owl had seen in the last forty-eight hours. I was shocked at the brutality of the stranger, he killed and ate any of the wild animals or birds anything that got caught in his traps why he even ate the young birds that could not fly away from his greedy hands. This had to stop; I asked the owl to fly to queen Feeanna, I thought that if I destroyed the man’s new dwelling he would build a new one. While I waited for her majesty I saw two crows flying overhead. I sent them mind messages and they both settled one on each of my shoulders. I explained what I wanted them to do. They were to get all of the crows in their colony and attack the stranger. Hiding behind a tree I watched the crows they flew in a direct line and attacked the stranger. The man beat them of and ran to his underground dwelling and after a minute or two he came out. He was now wearing a motorbike helmet. The crows on seeing that they could not drive the man away stopped their attack and flew off.

The bright blue flash and small puff of smoke announced the arrival of her majesty queen Feeanna. Her majesty wore a dress covered in small spring flowers she looked ever so pretty. I explained about the stranger and what I had attempted to do with the help of the crows. I told her majesty of the traps and the brutal way of the man to get his food, the robbing of the bird’s nests and his nasty ways with all of the wild animals. Her majesty was very angry, “shall I turn him into an animal or what do you think I should do with him?” “We only want him to leave fairyland so that the fairies and the other little peoples and all of the wild birds and animal can live in peace.” Was my answer? Her majesty then said It Is time that I spoke to mother nature she will surely be able to drive him away from fairyland without me turning him Into an animal or even a large stone. “I will get In touch with you tomorrow. Do not be surprised at anything unusual that might happen. Mother nature is very unhappy when humans hurt her wild life.”

I went sadly back to my house, no birds singing no glimpses of wild animals it was very quiet in fairyland this day. In the evening a terrible storm blew in from the west it rained and rained, soon the land was flooding. The stranger knocked on my door hoping that I would take him in out of the rain. I did not answer his knockings on my front door. I saw the stranger looking back towards the woods of fairyland. He had decided that fairyland was not such a good place to live in after all. The next day it still rained but I put on my rubber boots and my mackintosh, pulling my old hat well down over my ears I walked into fairyland. I soon came to where the stranger had built his ground house the roof had caved in and the large pit that the man had dug was full of water. I stood there for a while glad that the man was gone. A bright blue flash and her majesty arrived with Mother Nature. Mother nature smiled her lovely smile at me and said. “He will not bother my children anymore.” Her majesty has placed a magic spell on him he will now avoid the woods and lovely nature. He will only want to stay Indoors and read about such things no more of my children will be harmed by him again. With a smile mother nature and her majesty vanished as they had come, a bright blue flash a small puff of smoke and I was left on my own looking at the remains of the stranger’s house. On my way home as If to make up for my not seeing the wild life and all of the birds from all over the deer the with Its young came trotting along the path, followed by a fox then the weasel and the badger poked their heads around a tree, from all over the birds were singing and the owl I swear smiled at me as she looked down from the bough of a tree. I was a very happy man as went into my back garden and then into my house.

The Flight Home.

Heavy traffic on the way to the airport, it was one of these days when everyone seemed to be going in the one direction. Heavy lorries with trailers steadily going down the slow lane, some of the lorry drivers kept a fair distance so that one could pull In on to the slow lane others were determined not to leave any room for anyone else to pull In, In front of them. In the middle lane cars and camping wagons all in a hurry each trying to out speed the other. Then the fast lane here the powerful private cars each boasting I do not know how many horse power, In this lane the drivers seemed to take great delight In flashing their lights and whooping on the hooters to get others to make way, all are In one great hurry.

My taxi to the airport I had ordered the day before making sure that I had plenty of time to check in to the airport. One must be at the airport two hours before one is allowed to board the plane. That Is If the plane Is on time and has not been delayed owing to bad weather or some other holds up perhaps In taking off from the airport from where they had come from. Passing through the duty free shop I did not see anything that Interested me, I knew that on the plane I would have a choice of newspaper to read, a light meal would be served and coffee or tea were brought to each seat. Alcohol is also served on the flights to and from Austria but as I do not drink alcohol I was bothered about any other drinks. Once on board after passing through various checkpoints we were finally allowed to board the plane. With my ticket in my hand I looked for my seat number. I had booked a window seat and I was soon settled comfortably in my seat. One of the airhostesses showed us what to do if the plane was to be in any difficulty and also where the swim vest was stowed In case we had to make a crash landing while over the sea.

The plane took off and we were soon flying at thirty thousand feet high at a speed of five hundred kilometres an hour. I settled back in my seat loosened my seat belt and closed my eyes. I awoke as some body or something prodded me in the ribs. “Asleep at this time of the day, come with me we have work to do?” I could not believe my eyes, sitting next to me is my leprechaun friend. “Come,” he said and taking my hand we both disappeared from the plane and I felt the strange sensation of flying by magic. How long the flight lasted I do not know it seemed like hours but was perhaps a matter of seconds or minutes. We landed on a small dry patch on Dartmoor had been sent by her majesty Queen Feeanna to rescue some pixies that had wandered over the moor without having a guide to show them the safe paths they could without danger tread on.

At first the pixies were fairly careful and stuck to the paths that were firm and dry underfoot, then as It became boring they decided to play hide and seek and that on a dangerous moor. Soon three of the pixies were stranded on a patch that was surrounded by boggy water with no sign of a dry path. Shouting for help they had been heard by a willow the wisp that reported the strange goings on of the pixies to her majesty, queen Feeanna. Queen Feeanna had sent to rescue the pixies. Alone could not help he needed a second strong pair of arms to help him.  Explained his plan to me, It consisted of a long pole that the pixies one by one could cling to and I would carry them to a dry path where they were to wait until we had rescued all of the pixies and then we would guide them back to safe land where there was no more bogs that suck the unwary people under the bog. In ’s hands there appeared a long strong pole and taking one end I followed the path that had showed me and one by one we carried the pixies back to dry land.

As the last pixie was rescued I found myself back on the plane sitting In my seat In time to hear the captain of the plane saying “we are running In to land please fasten your seat belts and wait until the plane stops before leaving your seats.” I fastened my seat belt and the plane landed when we stopped I followed the other passengers through the customs and out to where the luggage belts were bringing our luggage. As I waited for my suitcase to come around on the conveyor belt, I felt a touch on my arm and a well known voice saying,” you landed all right then.” It was greeting me as If we had not met before and rescued the pixies. Taking my suitcase, holding my arm another magic trip and we were both in my back kitchen. Over a cup of tea and a plate of ginger biscuits told me about the pixies who were now back in fairyland and had learnt a lesson. No pixie will ever go to a moor on its own It Is too dangerous

Strange rescue.

Opening the car window, I smelt the salty air coming in on a light breeze from the sea. Over the next hill and then I would see a picture that always gives me great pleasure. The golden sands the blue sometimes grey of the sea, children’s happy voices and the Ice cream man with his tricycle selling people Ice creams. I always have such feelings when going to the seaside; It Is a deep memory embedded in my brain since I was a very young child. The memories of walking bare feet in the soft sands that gave way under my feet is still the joy that it was all those years ago. I have no difficulty parking my car, today is Wednesday and there are no visitors on the beach, I am all alone.

Far out to sea I see a small boat bobbing up and down a plaything for the incoming tide. Taking off my shoes and socks feeling the warmth of the sand invading my feet and legs, I walk slowly along the beach keeping an eye on the tide. Tides come in very quickly and one must be very careful if someone is not a swimmer it can be very dangerous at this part of the coast. The small pools of seawater that had not evaporated in the warm sun held all kinds of small creatures on the whole a very interesting walk. I walked back over the sand to the seawall. Something is very wrong, my feet are still walking in sand but there is no sea, no tide coming in where am I? The sun seemed to be trying to roast me it was ever so hot. I saw, or thought I saw on the horizon an oasis with date palms, I also thought I saw the blue shimmer of water with some clouds hanging over the oasis. I must get out of the direct rays of the sun; I did not have even a hat with me. Taking my large white handkerchief from my pocket I tied four knots one at each end and placed it over my head. I remember thinking to myself It Is the seaside, many men tie knots in their hankies so I will be in fashion.

Slowly I trudged to the top of what was a huge sand dune one of many in this strange place and saw on the other side that it was shady. I lay down in the shade and tried not to think about water and having a drink. It took me all of ten minutes to realise that I had some magic dust in my pocket magic dust from her majesty queen Feeanna. Taking some of the magic dust I threw it high in the air. I was now In the middle of an oasis perhaps the very one I had seen while standing in the sun. I quickly moved to the water and drank my fill, I felt much better now and my brain started to work again. Some person or other had placed a spell on me. My house and fairyland are well protected by her majesty’s magic. I was at the seaside and someone had taken advantage of this. Who I thought would want to take advantage of an old man that writes fairy tales for children.

I patiently waited I knew that I would soon be missed in fairyland and help would be sent to me in one form or another. I drank of the cool fresh water and after climbing one of the date palms I had ripe fresh dates to eat. Soon the sun slowly sunk into the night skies; which were most beautiful. Millions of little points of light twinkling away high in the heavens, it looked as If someone or something had thrown away millions and millions of diamonds just to show me. I spent two days and two nights in the oasis, my biggest surprise was when my leprechaun friend who was sent to bring me home by her majesty queen Feeanna. Arrived In the middle of the second night riding on a witch’s broom. “I have come to take you back home to fairyland; were ’s words of greeting?” “You want me to ride with you on that old broom I asked? “Oh It Is safe enough smiled It brought me here In one piece It will take us both home so come on sit behind me and let us be off I do not want people to see us as we ride the night skies.

Shamus told me on the quick flight back home that her majesty had looked in her magic mirror and found me in my oasis. My using the magic dust had given her the clue where to look and she sent to bring me home, If her majesty had used magic the person that had put me Into the Sahara might have been able to Intercept me. Nowadays no one used broomsticks to fly. On arriving back home her majesty met us and I, thanked her for fetching me home. Her Majesty asked me whether she could place a small piece of magic gold in my head just behind my ear. This gold will protect you wherever you are in this world. I felt a small warmish feeling behind my left ear. A plate of fairy cakes appeared out of nowhere, we were each holding a glass of parsnip wine and we ate and drank to the success of ’s rescuing me from the heat of Africa.

Rainbow gold.

Sitting with my back to my favourite old oak tree, I was amused at the doings of four leprechauns. Carefully each one found a small branch and cut it to size. Then with a ball of string they formed a square with the cut branches. Next other branches all from the same wood were tied in place, a square at one end going down to point at the other. A blue flash and a puff of smoke and her majesty queen Feeanna sat down beside me. We exchanged greetings and I saw that her majesty was smiling. “What do you think they are doing Mr Shaw?” she asked me. I had no Idea what the leprechauns were up to and said so. “Have some refreshments,” waving her magic wand suddenly there appeared two glasses of elderberry wine and a plate of fairy cakes.

“This will take some time,” Her Majesty said. I took one of the glasses and a fairy cake and continued to watch the leprechauns. Holding their wooden construction so that the square opening faced toward the sky it was obvious that they were waiting for something to happen. A light drizzle of rain with some lovely beams of sunshine and there appeared a wonderful rainbow. The leprechauns were now very excited and ran here and there trying to catch the end of the rainbow in their wooden square box like opening. Suddenly they actually caught the rainbow and with the point of the wooden box resting on the ground. They quickly drew a large circle with a piece of wood that one of them was holding around the point. Pointing her magic wand at the leprechauns I now heard every word they said. “We have got the bottom of the rainbow now we will surely find gold. I smiled as I heard them talking.

“Your majesty I asked, why are they really digging there Is no gold buried here In fairyland as we both know, what strange plan have you for the leprechauns. “As you know the old well that was called the wishing well I had to close as too many people were asking for some very strange wishes. These leprechauns are going to replace the old well with a new one this new well will be just for water.” What about the gold the leprechauns will be very disappointed if they find no gold.” “I have arranged everything, the leprechauns will find their gold it will appear to them as soon as the first water seeps into the well. I watched as the four leprechauns took some folding shovels from their rucksacks and started to dig. Soon a huge pile of earth surrounded the hole they were digging. Her majesty waved her magic wand again this time four fairies appeared each carrying a plate of fairy cakes and a glass of parsnip wine. The four leprechauns ate and drank then the shovels of dirt got higher and higher.

One of the leprechauns quickly made a ladder that he placed In the hole and now as two leprechauns dug away at the hole the other two were running up and down the ladder with small baskets full of earth. Another wave of her wand and her majesty let large square stones fall near to the hole. As the leprechauns saw the stones they took them down into the hole and built a wall around the hole so that it would not cave in. Her majesty had thought of everything.

A loud cry of delight came from the hole the leprechauns had found their gold a very large clump of the precious metal. Coming up the ladder out of the now walled in whole saw that two of the leprechauns were carrying a large clump of yellow metal. A thought came to me, “your majesty wouldn’t the leprechauns have dug you a new well If you had asked them to?” smiling Her Majesty said, “of course they would have but at what speed, It might have taken them weeks to finish the new well, as It Is they have had their excitement no one was needed to see that they finished their work.” fairy land has now got a new well.” Before her majesty went off home she waved her magic wand once again and above the new well their appeared a small roof under the roof was a roll around the roll was a cobweb rope that was harder than a chain and It would not rust. On one end of the roll was a handle to turn to let the bright gleaming bucket into the well to get water. Her majesty had really thought out a good plan as I was privileged to watch.

Twin oaks.

The two old oak trees have been in the woods for as long as anyone could remember, some say they have been in the woods for over one thousand years. No one knows who planted the trees and they are a mystery to this very day. The trees are very close together even their branches intermingle with each other. It is as If two lovers were wrapped in an eternal embrace. Many people have told stories about the two oaks, the more Important thing about the trees they have given shelter to many animals, the acorns from the trees have fed many of the wild animals of the woods. In bad weather one can find many an animal under the spreading protection of the closely woven branches. It was as If nature had provided an umbrella for the wild life of the woods. Fairies had for generations come here to be out of the hot sun, it seemed to be always cool under the leafy foliage of the trees.

One day as I walked through the woods I saw much to my disappointment, two men one of them held a large tape measure and they were measuring the trunks of the trees. Going to the two men I asked them why they were measuring the two oaks. The answer did not surprise me a rich man wanted to have a sailing boat built, he wanted the best wood that money could buy. How the two men knew about the two oaks in the woods of fairyland I do not know. Smiling I said It will be hard work to cut down the two oaks with their branches so intertwined one with the other, Innocently I asked how they would manage to cut the two trees down without damaging any of the wood and branches. No real problem I heard one of them say we will use two power saws and cut them so that both fall in the same direction. When they are on the ground it will be no problem to cut off all of the unwanted wood. Sadly but somehow very angry that these two wonderful old oak trees should be cut down just to please a rich man’s whim. If he wanted a boat let him have a boat built of metal, after all there is enough Iron and steel in the world.

The men measuring the trees finally went on their way and I saw that some fairies had been watching what the men had been doing. “Why were they measuring the old oak trees?” I was asked. I explained to the fairies about a man that wanted to have a ship built with the best wood possible. The two men had heard of the twin oaks and decided that these were the right trees to deliver the wood for the boat. “They cannot chop down those two trees they are under the protection of her majesty.” “Have you not heard the story of the two oaks?” I had not heard any story about the oak trees apart from the fact that they were ever so old.” “We must tell her majesty about the men at once said one of the fairies.” Off they flew and I sat down under a tree to wait for her majesty.

The now familiar blue flash and the whiff of smoke and her majesty stood before me. Her majesty is a very pretty woman and her dresses are of pure cobweb spun threads coloured, as only the fairies know how to colour. Smiling her majesty asked me what the two men were doing. I quickly told her majesty of the rich man that wanted a boat built and of the two men that he sent to look for suitable trees to chop down and build the boat. “Look closely,” said her majesty and as I watched the two oak trees disappeared behind a wall of living oak trees.

Those two oaks are really two children that were meant to be married and become the king and queen of Ireland. A very powerful wizard tied the children together and placed them in a rowing boat, which he then pushed out to sea he the wizard wanted to make himself the king of Ireland. The rowing boat did not sink as the wizard had hoped but landed after a terrible storm here at Margate on the Kent coast. My mother took the two children that were in a very bad way and brought them here to Dartford heath. To save the children’s lives my mother turned them into two oak trees that the fairies planted close together so they would never be alone. The wizard is still alive In Ireland he is very, very old but he has not given up hope of becoming king. The Irish leprechauns keep an eye on him and her majesty is always Informed of his whereabouts and what he is doing. The wizard cannot last much longer and the two oaks will soon become the young couple they were before they were turned Into oak trees a little older but they will be able to live normal lives without fearing the wizard. Those two men will find oak trees but not the two they wanted to cut down.

Magpie and the ring.

While digging in my back garden I saw a something very strange, a magpie flew over my garden I would not have noticed it normally but this magpie had something glistening and sparkling In Its beak. I remember thinking to myself the thieving magpie has flown into some ones open window and stolen whatever it was that the bird had In Its beak. About a dozen crows suddenly attacked the magpie; first the one crow then in a line each crow flew down and pecked at the magpie. Crows are birds that defend their territory and the magpie was an Intruder.

The magpie opened its beak to defend itself and dropped whatever it was that was sparkling In Its beak. Flying off the magpie soon was out of the crow’s territory and the crows flew off. I gave this no more thought until sometime in the autumn. Where the magpie had left the glittering thing that was In Its beak fall was where I planted my potatoes. While planting I must admit I looked very hard to try to find whatever the bird had In Its beak but I found nothing. I never saw the magpie again It had found itself a new territory.

My garden was full of vegetables waiting to be harvested and I had finished tying my onions and garlic to hang ready for the winter months. Beans and peas were either bottled or dried and all that was now left in my back garden were the potatoes and the cabbages. Carefully using my garden fork I dug the potatoes out of the ground and put them in my cellar ready to use in the long winter months. The first week of December I went into the cellar and got some potatoes to peel for my Sunday dinner the potatoes are boiled, the roast beef is ready and I prepared my Sunday lunch. While I was eating I cut one of the potatoes in half. To my surprise the knife grated on to something hard, with my knife and fork I parted the potato and found a most beautiful glittering ring. Then the episode with the crows and the magpie came to my mind. This Is what the thieving magpie had been holding In Its beak, the attack by the crows made the bird drop this ring Into my potato patch, one of the new potatoes had wrapped Itself around the ring; I was the one to find It.

The following day after washing and photographing the ring I took the ring and one of the photos down to my local police station. I explained to the desk sergeant how I had come by the ring. The desk sergeant filled out a file with my name and address and the story that I told him about how the ring came to be in my possession. These he placed In an official looking envelope and writing something In a large ledger the sergeant took the ring and placed It with the file Into the envelope and placed the envelope In a large safe that stood In one corner. “If no one claims this within three months it becomes your property,” he told me, we will let you know if someone claims the ring. Wishing the sergeant a good day I went off home. One day there was a ring on my front door bell, on opening the door I saw a very large policeman standing on my doorstep. “I have come about the ring,” he told me. “We have had thirty different people claiming the ring. No one had evidence of ever buying the ring and the sergeant told each and every one of him or her the penalties for trying to claim something that they did not own. All went away not one of them could even describe the ring.

Now the ring was officially mine and would I come down to the police station to claim the ring. I did as I was asked and claimed the ring. Taking the ring with me into fairyland I asked her majesty queen Feeanna If she would find the owner of the ring by using her famous magic mirror. Taking the mirror from her pocket I placed the ring on to it and it was as If a film played before my eyes. I saw the small growing potato, I saw myself digging the potatoes out of the ground my placing them in my cellar and then my peeling the potatoes and placing them in a pot of salted water to boil. Then I placed the potatoes with the roast beef on to my plate. The film in my mind showed me cutting the potato and of my finding the ring. Then as the film rolled on I saw myself going to the police station my signing the file and of the sergeant placing the file and the ring In the envelope.

What came next surprised even me; each of the persons that had tried to claim the ring appeared in my brain. I knew some of them they would never have been able to afford such a ring. The film showed my placing the ring onto the magic mirror than it showed me the face of an elderly woman. The woman’s address appeared in golden letters. I quickly made a note of the address and thanking her majesty I went to the house that I had seen in the film. Knocking on the door I told the lady that answered it about the magpie dropping the ring. The crows and of my finding the ring in one of my potatoes I did not mention the fairy queen or her magic mirror. On my showing the lady the ring she smiled and went quickly into the house and came back with a photograph of the very same ring. “My husband gave me this ring on my twenty-fifth birthday, I did not even realise that it was missing. Showing me her hands I could see that that the hands were crippled with rheumatism. This is why she had not missed the ring she could no longer bear a ring on her fingers. Giving her the ring I made my way home after refusing to take a reward that she wanted to give me. I still wonder why the crows attacked the magpie was It a hint that one does not steal, or were they defending their territory?

Paperboy.

Every day with the exception of Sunday, a paperboy delivers me the daily newspaper. For the last two weeks the paperboy that delivers the newspaper has been often late. The papers have been crumpled and sometimes wet. Wednesday I got up early and waited for the paperboy to deliver my newspaper. I was very surprised as a very small man that looked as If he could do with a wash and some new clothes, threw the newspaper at me he shouted something that I could not understand. I decided to go to the paper shop and ask what was wrong with the young man had delivered my newspapers for the last three years. There had been no complaints from me the newspapers had always arrived on time, it had always been pushed through my letterbox, it was never wet or soggy and I had no difficulty in reading the paper.

Putting on my shoes and raincoat, I took an umbrella from its stand and walked into town. Not only was it one of those dreary old days but the shops too looked as If they all needed a fresh coat of paint. Opening the door of the newsagents shop I saw the same little old man that had thrown the newspaper at me. “Good morning,” I said. The man looked at me and I saw his bloodshot eyes he looked really ugly, his shirt was very grubby and looked as If It had not seen a washing machine for years. “What do you want?” his voice was not at all friendly. “I want to cancel my newspaper order with your shop,” I am used to having my newspaper fresh each day, also the paper should be pushed through my letter box like It has been for the past five years or so. The grubby little man pulled out a ledger; I recognised the handwriting it was that of the former shopkeeper. “Name?” He snarled at me. “My name is Shaw, my address, woodland road, Dartford heath.” “Why do you want to cancel the newspaper?” I did not like the sound of his voice. “Just cancel it!” I turned and went to walk out of the shop. “Stop where you are. I turned my head; especially a shopkeeper has never spoken me to in this way. One knows that all shopkeepers are or try to be polite to keep their customers happy. I reached out for the door handle to open the door.

The door was no longer In Its place. A brick wall with shelves built in to it, on the shelves were copies of newspapers some very old by the look of the yellow pages. Pick up the newspaper at the end of the third shelf from the top. This was no polite request it was an order. I looked at the little man with his very grubby shirt. I must admit I was beginning to become a little angry. Where was the door to the shop? Where did this wall with its shelves full of newspapers come from? This Is I thought to myself very mysterious. What did the man want, why did he want me to pick the first newspaper on the third shelf from the top, “no point becoming angry,” I said to myself. I had better humour the man. Taking the newspaper from the shelf as he had ordered me to, I looked at the yellowing very old paper. Dartford gazette, I knew of no paper with the name of Dartford gazette. Then I saw the date on the paper nineteen hundred and thirty.” Look at the fourth page where it says births and deaths.” There I saw the announcement of my own birth. A son born to Christine Shaw, housewife, Dartford, Kent at three minutes past midnight, mother is to call the boy Bernard.

“Why are you showing me this old newspaper?” Who are you? “I have been sent to show you that if you are unhappy with this life you may start all over again. I am the keeper of births and deaths. To start all over again you must accept and read the newspapers that I deliver for one whole week. Suddenly the door was back In Its place and I walked out of the door into the high street. What I thought to myself was that all about? Who is this man that claims to be the keeper of births and deaths? I think that I will humour him and read his newspapers and see what happens.

The grubby man threw every day the newspaper at my front door; rain or sunshine did not seem to bother him he is always dressed in this very grubby shirt. I read day after day, each newspaper that he delivered. At last Saturday came and I went to the front door and opened it to pick up the newspaper. This was no newspaper it was a small flat parcel the size of a large book. Taking the book Indoors I carefully opened the brown paper that the parcel was wrapped in. A small book, the cover of which was of solid gold. Strangely enough the book, although of solid gold was not at all heavy. Opening the cover I saw that a sheet of pure white parchment with copper plate letters, saying If you want to change your life for another, then do not look further Into this book. Take it back to the newsagents and all will end as it was meant to. Read and your whole life will change. Closing the book I hurried down to the newsagents, opening the door I saw my friend the shopkeeper that had owned the shop for years, then the newspaper boy came into the shop and greeted me.

I decided to say nothing of the man with the grubby shirt. I then remembered why I had come to the shop and feeling for the golden book I found that it had disappeared. I now felt a real fool and said to the shopkeeper that I wanted to pay my newspaper bill. Smiling he said, “you must have a poor memory you were in here yesterday and paid for the whole month.” I walked back home in a daze; I still do not know what I was shown the old newspapers for and why someone wanted to give me another life Instead of the one that I have lived through. I shudder to think what would have happened If I had read the golden book through to its end.

Schools End.

All have come to attend the school leaving ceremony. Parents, friends, relatives of all kinds, It Is one of the biggest events of the year. No one wanted to miss taking part in the feast that followed. There would be dancing and singing, an orchestra will play. Thousands of fireflies will light the night and the most Important all of the fairies will have a new magic wand. The wand If It Is used properly can make a fairy disappear. It can provide food and the most Important It will protect the fairy from all harm. We all know that some fairies are forgetful and do not always take their magic wands with them. It was one such fairy that I shall tell you about in this my little story.

Lenafee is the name of the fairy that I will tell you about. Lenafee was not a very good scholar and often played truant In other words she was missing when some of the most Important fairy lessons were being held In class and so her knowledge was not that which It should have been. To give you an example she did not go to school on the day that the fairies were shown how to place their magic wands in their dresses so that they never would be without the wand when it was needed.

Lenafee’s parents were at the school leaving ceremony and happily applauded when Lenafee’s name was called out to receive her magic wand. Lenafee went up to the raised platform where the head teacher was giving out the wands. As each child came up to the platform the head teacher spoke a few words to each fairy mainly praising the fairy. When Lenafee went up for her wand she did not praise her but told Lenafee to be very careful. Lenafee accepted the magic wand and went back to her smiling parents.

”What did the head teacher say to you?” they excitedly asked Lenafee. “He told me that I was a very good fairy,” mumbled Lenafee. This answer satisfied the parents and they with Lenafee went to where the food and drinks were appearing out of the air. One just had to reach out and whatever one desired it appeared in one’s hand. All kinds of fruit juices and wines were served and of course the most famous fairy cakes.

During the dancing that followed Lenafee went missing. Her worried parents looked everywhere for her but she was gone. Lenafee’s father went to where the orchestra was playing and asked in a loud voice if anyone had seen his daughter. No one had seen her. Lenafee had disappeared, all through the night her parents looked for her. In the morning it was known all over fairyland that Lenafee had gone missing.

The thousands of fireflies that were lighting up the dance fascinated Lenafee and when a hundred or more of the fireflies suddenly flew off away from the feast she rather stupidly followed them. Her magic wand she had given to her mother for safekeeping. The fireflies flew deeper and deeper into the night and Lenafee followed them until her wings were so tired that she could no longer fly.

Still following the fireflies she walked as quickly as she could until she stumbled into a large spider web that had been spun across the forest path. Lenafee was now caught in the sticky mesh of the web. She was not frightened; as spiders could not harm her, it was the sticky web that held her so tight. She could not free herself. If only she had her magic wand she could easily have freed herself from the web. In the end Lenafee stopped struggling to free herself and waited for help. She knew that the fairies would be looking for her. What she did not realise was how far away she was from her part of fairyland. A faint whistling came down the forest floor it was a woodchopper who was on his way to work. The woodchopper saw Lenafee and set her free by cutting with his axe the spider web. He asked her why she had not freed herself everyone knew that fairies could do magic things. Freeing herself should have been very easy. Lenafee then shyly told the woodcutter that she had given her magic wand to her mother to look after that is why she did now have it with her.

The woodcutter shared with the fairy Lenafee his meal, which was plain bread and water from a nearby stream. Then he looked carefully on the ground until he found the tracks made by Lenafee as she followed the fireflies. “This is the path you should follow look for your own footprints and that will bring you back to your own part of the woods.” said the woodcutter.

Lenafee soon followed her own tracks this time she walked a while then flew a while. Soon she was back In her own part of fairyland and met up with some of the fairies that were looking for her, the birds of the woods were telling all that the Lenafee has been found. Lenafee’s parents were delighted to have their daughter back safe and took her home to where they lived. When school started for the fairy children Lenafee asked if she too could attend school again. Permission was granted and Lenafee was a very good scholar she did not play truant and learned all that a fairy should know before going off on her own.

Her majesty queen Feeanna visited the woodcutter that had helped Lenafee and he was handsomely rewarded with a small box of coins. No matter how often he emptied the box of coins it refilled itself. Lenafee has now finished school and is one of the best workers among the fairies and It Is rumoured that she will soon be with the wise old fairies.

Stranger.

Walking through the woods that form part of fairyland, I noticed that the birds were not singing. There were no wild animals to be seen. Then I saw that someone had placed a simple trap along the one of many paths in the woods. I took the trap and placed It In one of my pockets; I thought that I might need it for evidence. No fairies were to be seen it was as If fairyland had moved away to some other part of the world. Running along the branch of a very old walnut tree I saw this young squirrel. Calling to him with a series of pictures that I sent from my mind to the squirrels mind, he told me this story.

A stranger had dug a deep square hole in the ground and had used the old trees that had fallen in the last big storm to make a roof over the hole. This according to the squirrel was now his home; the stranger a man of about fifty years of age had placed traps all over the woods of fairyland. Not only traps but also he climbed trees and took the eggs from the nests. These he cooked and ate. The squirrel told me that it had, had a very narrow escape as it was caught in one of the traps and a fairy had come along and set him free. “The man must go,” said the squirrel or there will soon be no animals at all in the woods, most have gone with their young to another part of the land.

This must be stopped I thought to myself but how? I could easily destroy the roof and fill In the hole where he now lives but he could build It up very quickly again, no I must get the help of her majesty the fairy queen, queen Feeanna. Walking back home deep in thought I did not notice the owl until she landed on my left shoulder, soon new pictures were flooding into my brain. I saw all that the owl had seen in the last forty-eight hours. I was shocked at the brutality of the stranger, he killed and ate any of the wild animals or birds anything that got caught in his traps why he even ate the young birds that could not fly away from his greedy hands. This had to stop; I asked the owl to fly to queen Feeanna, I thought that if I destroyed the man’s new dwelling he would build a new one.

While I waited for her majesty I saw two crows flying overhead. I sent them mind messages and they both settled one on each of my shoulders. I explained what I wanted them to do. They were to get all of the crows in their colony and attack the stranger. Hiding behind a tree I watched the crows they flew in a direct line and attacked the stranger. The man beat them of and ran to his underground dwelling and after a minute or two he came out. He was now wearing a motorbike helmet. The crows on seeing that they could not drive the man away stopped their attack and flew off.

The bright blue flash and small puff of smoke announced the arrival of her majesty queen Feeanna. Her majesty wore a dress covered in small spring flowers she looked ever so pretty. I explained about the stranger and what I had attempted to do with the help of the crows. I told her majesty of the traps and the brutal way of the man to get his food, the robbing of the bird’s nests and his nasty ways with all of the wild animals. Her majesty was very angry, “shall I turn him into an animal or what do you think I should do with him?” “We only want him to leave Fairyland so that the fairies and the other little peoples and all of the wild birds and animal can live in peace.” Was my answer?

Her majesty then said It Is time that I spoke to mother nature she will surely be able to drive him away from fairyland without me turning him Into an animal or even a large stone. “I will get In touch with you tomorrow. Do not be surprised at anything unusual that might happen. Mother nature is very unhappy when humans hurt her wild life.” I went sadly back to my house, no birds singing no glimpses of wild animals it was very quiet in fairyland this day. In the evening a terrible storm blew in from the west it rained and rained, soon the land was flooding. The stranger knocked on my door hoping that I would take him in out of the rain. I did not answer his knockings on my front door. I saw the stranger looking back towards the woods of fairyland. He had decided that fairyland was not such a good place to live in after all. The next day it still rained but I put on my rubber boots and my mackintosh, pulling my old hat well down over my ears I walked into fairyland. I soon came to where the stranger had built his ground house the roof had caved in and the large pit that the man had dug was full of water. I stood there for a while glad that the man was gone.

A bright blue flash and Her Majesty arrived with Mother Nature. Mother nature smiled her lovely smile at me and said. “He will not bother my children anymore.” Her majesty has placed a magic spell on him he will now avoid the woods and lovely nature. He will only want to stay Indoors and read about such things no more of my children will be harmed by him again. With a smile mother nature and her majesty vanished as they had come, a bright blue flash a small puff of smoke and I was left on my own looking at the remains of the stranger’s house. On my way home as If to make up for my not seeing the wild life and all of the birds the deer with Its young came trotting along the path, followed by a fox then the weasel and the badger poked their heads around a tree, from all over the birds were singing and the owl I swear smiled at me as she looked down from the bough of a tree. I was a very happy man as went into my back garden.

Panic cloud.

A huge black cloud covered the morning sky; I wondered what kind of weather
had Mother Nature for us today. Then I saw the fairies, all were in a panic
running and flying as If some one or something was chasing them. Fairies do
not walk if they can fly; the fairies that were running had in there panic
forgotten to use their wings things were seriously wrong. “Look up into the
sky,” one of them shouted as she flew past me. Looking up into the sky I saw
that the huge black cloud was being pushed over fairyland by some forty
witches or more. Telling the fairies to run for shelter into my house, I
watched the cloud and the witches. Her Majesty Queen Feeanna appeared in her
usual way, a blue flash of light a small whiff of smoke. On seeing me
looking up into the sky her majesty looked up and pointed her magic wand at
the witches and the cloud. I had to smile at what happened. The broomsticks
became unmanageable and to save themselves from a nasty fall to the
ground the witches were now hanging on to the cloud. Not being driven by
the witches and their broomsticks the cloud floated off out to sea.

I asked her majesty what had happened? How could the witches get such a
cloud and what was Mother Nature doing to let them use a cloud to get their
own back on the fairies? Later that morning a robin visited me, would I come
to the old oak tree at three o’clock in the afternoon. Arriving at the oak
tree I saw that Her Majesty with Mother Nature were waiting for me. Smiling
I greeted the two ladies and heard in some astonishment as Mother Nature
told us the following tale.

Some thousands of years ago I was talking to the
then queen of fairyland, her majesty had started off the fairy university of
learning. The fairies or as they are now known the wise old fairies had
written down all of the knowledge of magic, now there were several hundred
such books that every hundred years were copied, this means that every
hundred years new books were written from the old books, and they were used
by the students to study magic. On hearing this Mother Nature decided
to write down all the secrets of nature so that if anything ever were to
happen to her no knowledge would be lost.

Four leprechauns all sworn to great secrecy had chiselled into stone tablet all of Mother Nature’s knowledge. Mother nature in a cave In the Mongol deserts hid the tablets of
stone. The cave itself was buried deep In the Mongol Mountains. Her majesty
took Mother Nature’s right hand and my left hand and whoosh we were off on a
magic trip to the mountains of Mongol. When we arrived one could see that a
huge landslide had left a large hole in the mountainside. Her majesty then
took out of her pocket her magic mirror. In the mirror I saw a man carefully
climbing up the mountainside until he reached the now gaping hole that was
once the cave where Mother Nature had placed all of her tablets of
knowledge. The man looked carefully around and then quickly bent down and
picked up one of the tablets that the leprechauns had chiselled so long ago.

No other tablet was to be found and the man carefully wrapping the tablet in
cloths made his way back to England. In England he went from one university
to the next hoping that some one would be able to translate his tablet. One
day as the man was sitting In a public house In London, he after drinking
quite a few beers, offered a hundred pounds In gold to the man or woman that
could translate his tablet. The wizard Monawort heard the man and asked to
look at the tablet. Monawort was the only man in the world who could read
the tablet. The man went out to the toilets for a few minutes and Monawort
took a photograph of the tablet. Monawort went back to his home and enlarged
the photograph until he could read every word written on the stone tablet.
The tablet told how one could make large black storm clouds. The witches
were the wizard’s Idea, he knew that witches were jealous of the fairies for
the knowledge of magic making that all fairies possessed. The
cloud was to deliver a storm so terrible that the fairies would get their
wings wet. Then the wizard Monawort could have captured the fairies and
taken them home with him to try and get the fairy secrets of magic making.
Her majesty had put a stop to his plan and we now knew about the secret cave
with the tablets of knowledge that Mother Nature had got the leprechauns to
chisel so long ago. The knowledge that mother nature wrote down so long ago
Is not lost as the fairy university has rewritten them this time onto
parchment and every hundred years this new knowledge will be rewritten onto
new parchments and this till the end of time.

New craze.

The newest craze in fairyland is something that has never been seen in this part of the world before. Fairies are going around with long pieces of cloth wrapped around their heads. Some were neatly tied Into the Indian like turbans that the Sikhs wear; others are just wrapped as If the fairy had a bandage around her or his head. Where the fairies got the Idea from no one seems to know, I asked a few of the fairies why they wore these long pieces of cloth, no one could give me an explanation except to tell me they looked nice. They were certainly colourful but nice, well I did not think so as some were ragged others needed a good wash. One could see those fairies that were neat and tidy all wore clean fresh pieces of cloth. The craze lasted about a week then most of the fairies went back to having their natural hair showing.

Later I was to hear that a lorry had lost a large wooden crate as it was driven across the heath. The road across the heath is not very good and has many bumps and holes In Its surface, this is what caused the wooden box to fall from the lorry. The driver of the lorry did not notice that he had lost part of his load and carried on his journey down Into Kent. The box hit the road and split open long pieces of cloth were taken by the strong wind that was blowing and soon pieces of cloth were to be seen all over fairyland. The fairies used the cloth mainly for head covers and that Is what started this craze I must admit I had forgotten all about It until one of the fairies asked me If I had any cloth as she did not have one of the cloths that that the others had.

At home I found a suitable piece of cloth and gave it to the young fairy that then told me this story. One day a lorry stopped at the small café on the heath road. Some pixies taking advantage of the driver of the lorry going In for a cup of tea and a small sandwich got on to the back of the open lorry and as soon as the driver drove off over the heath road the pixies pushed and pushed the wooden box until It fell with a crash onto the road. The box broke open and the naughty pixies took the cloths and gave them to all that wanted one. This is how the fairies got the cloth to make their headdresses and or scarves. What the pixies did not know her majesty had been watching over them. It was very silly for the pixies to go so close to the human dwellings something could have happened to hurt them. Her majesty replaced the wooden box with its contents.

Pixies are very mischievous and do not really harm people they just do not think. The lorry driver could have been in serious trouble for loosing the wooden box. Her majesty decided to punish the pixies in the only way that pixies could be hurt. Talking to Mother Nature the queen arranged with Mother Nature to let it rain for two whole weeks. This meant that the pixies could not go out to play, they could not pick the ripe berries from the blackberry bushes and of course while it rained no wild strawberries were to be had. It was a hard two weeks for the pixies but when it was over her majesty told them why it had rained for two whole weeks. The pixies promised that they would not go near the human dwellings again and they certainly would not get onto the back of a lorry to throw boxes onto the road.

The Flag Quarrel.

A group of boy scouts tidied up the Dartford heath and cleared away all of the rubbish such as old tin cans, empty bottles, rags, old bicycle parts, wheels and tyres and old batteries from cars and lorries that had been thrown away by careless people. One of these boy scouts dropped a diary. This diary had all kinds of useful things written Into Its pages. There was the mores code, a calendar telling the days of the week and the months of the year and many other useful things that a boy might need. A fairy found the diary and saw the different flags of the world. The fairies had no Idea what the flags were for and many guesses were made as to what the flags were supposed to be.

Some said they were a new kind of flower that the humans were trying to grow, others that each coloured flag was to remind the humans of a special occasion. The fairies quarrelled for days on end until one of them came to me with the diary and showing me the flags she asked me what the small square coloured pictures were and why did the humans want them. I explained that each flag represented a country. Each flag was a kind of rallying call especially for soldiers when going into battle. Most humans respected the flags as being the emblem of their country.

It Is very difficult for fairies to think In terms of owning land but all of them agreed It was a good thing to have a flag. Why had the fairies no flag to represent them? It was decided that all fairies living in this world would design a flag for fairyland. Many were the quarrels and arguments as to what colours should be used, should there be an animal or a flower on the flag, how large should the flag be should It be square like the human flags or should It be round or even perhaps a triangle. Some of the arguments and quarrels were so fierce that fairies did not speak to each other for days. Many fairies cried others took to shouting nasty words at each other. Things got so bad that her majesty queen Feeanna told all of the fairies that there would be no fairy flag until all agreed to its size and colour, what should be on it a flower or flowers animals and if an animal what animal should it be. To tell the flag apart from the human flags her majesty decided that the new flag would be round it must not be copied from any flag that exists in the human world.

All over the world fairies are busy making flags; one by one her majesty queen Feeanna is receiving them. Not one of the hundreds of flags suited her majesty none with flower pictures, not one with animals pictures or one of those with trees for an emblem. One day a few months later a flag arrived from Africa. A young African fairy sent her majesty a flag that found her majesties approval. The flag was twelve Inches round and on a yellow background to show the sun there was a picture of the world. The world as It Is seen from space light and deep coloured blues showing the land and the oceans of this world. This said her majesty is our new fairy flag. The flag was shown all over fairyland and even as far away as china all agreed It was a beautiful flag and very suitable for the fairies. The quarrelling and the arguments have stopped and there is peace again fairyland. The new flag became so popular that the fairies all over the world each made a flag that they sewed onto their dresses and shirts. Now each fairy has a new flag and all are very happy. One can now say that all fairies are united under one flag.

Dressmakers Wanted.

An article in the daily paper caught my attention. Dressmakers wanted for designing, sewing and finishing of fine dresses in silk, people need only apply if they have had experience in the making of dolls clothes or fairy dresses. This Is Indeed a curious article dolls clothes yes but fairy dresses. Most of the people that I have spoken to do not believe in fairies now this article in the daily newspaper; I decided to answer the article and wrote a letter to the address given at the bottom of the article. In my letter I praised myself not only in the use of fine silks but also my knowledge of what fairies wanted.

Two days after posting the letter I received an answer, I was to appear in person to the address given on the top of the letter. Mallards yard, off pinion Street, Soho London. I decided to call in person to the address given. The next day after washing and shaving myself I got dressed and made my way to Dartford railway station. I boarded a train that took me to charring cross and walked Into Soho. I asked my way until I found myself in pinion Street. Half way along pinion street I found Mallards yard, I did not expect to see much of a building and I was not disappointed, a dilapidated looking, small old house, It must have been well over two hundred years old, with some of the dirtiest windows I have ever seen. The doorway was covered with some sacking that one had to push aside to enter the house.

I must say I have never seen such an uninviting house in all of my life. I asked myself should I turn and go back home? No I had not come all of this way to be put off by a grubby old house. Walking through the yard I pushed aside the rag covering that Id for a door and entered a dark little hallway. A dim lighted room on the left of the hallway showed that the dirty windows let in some light. I hear voices and walked to the dim lit doorway and entered a room. In the room were a table, and two chairs all had seen better days and a small old man. “What do you want, I am not buying anything from anyone?” “I have come about the dressmaker’s job.” I loudly said. “You do not look like a dress maker show me your hands.” I approached the man and showed him my hands. Looking very carefully at my fingers he then said, “these hands have never held a needle and thread.” I answered, “of course not, do you think that I would send my daughter to work anywhere that I have not looked at myself, there are some very weird people in this world of ours.

Looking around the room I saw rows and rows of finished and half finished dresses all very small and dainty, all the dresses were made of pure silk. “Are these the dresses that are made here?” I asked. Yes the man said proudly, all of these dresses were made here on the premises. “May I buy one of them to show my daughter then she can make up her own mind whether she wants and is able to make such fine dresses.” “Take one of them to show your daughter, I expect to see her next Monday work starts at seven thirty sharp I do not encourage people that are late and or make excuses for coming late.” “I took the nearest dress and left the grubby little old house. I had got what I wanted and that was one of the dresses.” I returned back to Dartford and went straight into fairyland where I asked a robin to tell her majesty that I would like to see her, It Is very important.

Her majesty Queen Feeanna arrived in her usual way, a bright flash of blue light and a small whiff of smoke. We greeted each other and I showed her majesty the dress. “Do you think that a human could make such fine dresses such tiny neat stitches,” I asked her majesty. Taking from one of her pockets the famous truth mirror her majesty placed the dress on the mirror. Showing me the mirror I saw the pictures of ten small fairies all were busy stitching away making such dresses, the mirror also showed the tiny tears that ran down some of the faces of the fairies. “I have seen enough,” I said to her majesty. Her majesty reached into the arm of her very pretty dress and took out her magic wand. A wave of the wand and ten fairies were standing looking with awe at her majesty.

“Look again into the mirror.” She said. I looked, the little grubby and very old house was burning standing in the yard looking on was the man that I had seen. He was rubbing his hands and groaning that the work of a lifetime was forever lost. Not a word about the fairies. Then I saw in the mirror some men from the London fire brigade. The men were pulling fire hoses to spray water onto the burning house but they could not get near enough with the fire engine and soon one could see that the little old house burned down to the ground. The little old man disappeared into the crowd of people that were standing around looking at the fire; I have not seen him again. The ten fairies told of how they had been captured by a wizard and sold to the little old man. Over ten years they sat and sewed the little silk dresses. I am very pleased that I saw the announcement In the daily paper and that I had answered It and gone to London, I had really saved the ten fairies from a lifetime of drudgery and hard work.

Magical charms.

For years now the fairies have always sent a charm in the form of a small silver locket and chain to all that come to live near fairyland. The charm is to keep all magic away from human beings. Sometimes magic spells go wrong and no human must suffer in any way because of magic spells that have gone wrong. During the period where fairies go to school to learn magic there is always the danger that a young fairy makes a silly mistake.

One example of this was when some thousand years ago or more, one fairy that was supposed to be making a plant that could live In water and on the land over did the magic and a young man that lived near fairyland was turned Into a being that had a pigs face and a human body. The wise old fairies of that time soon corrected the mistake and the young man became is own face again. This is the reason why all that came to live near fairyland were sent this silver chain and locket. Why am I telling you this? Well It Is simple really, there are a group of fairies that have got together and stated that they would not use magic In future.

Thirty fairies belonged to this little group and the news soon reached queen Feeanna ears. Her majesty called the group together and asked them whether they had thought about all of what could happen to them if they did not use magic again. First of all where would they get the food from that every fairy needs to keep healthy? What about the fairy cakes that all fairies love? We know where the bees live and we can always get honey from the friendly bees and as for flowers there are so many flowers that it would be simple to get together enough petals that with the honey make up the fairy cakes. What If you are in danger how will you cope if you do not use magic? We will make sure that we do not get into any situation that is dangerous.

Her majesty knew that it was no good trying to persuade the fairies and left them to fend for themselves. A new family came to live near fairyland and her majesty sent a small silver chain with a small locket to the new family. The family were very surprised to receive such a gift and immediately placed the chain and locket around their child’s neck. The child slowly grew and often came into fairyland. At first the child’s father followed the child to make sure that it came to no harm. Soon the child was old enough to walk into fairyland on its own, the father did not follow the child any more.

The child a small girl saw the fairies and often joined in, in the fairy games the fairies played. One day the little girl strayed away from the playing fairies. Wandering along the small path that the animals have made along the side of the stream she slipped on a wet stone and fell into the stream. Hitting her head on one of the stones in the stream she became unconscious. The group of fairies that did not use magic any more came across the little girl. Try as they might they could not move the little girl from the stream and out of danger.

Then their leader said, “We must use magic to save this little child.” Out of pockets and from the sleeves of their coats magic wands appeared and in a flash the little girl was safe on dry land. Her majesty knew at once that the group had used magic; the small silver chain and locket had informed her majesty of all that happened on this day so long ago. Her majesty then used her own magic wand and the child appeared safely in her own back garden. The little girl has no recollection of having been in the stream her clothes were dry and it was as If she had never been near the stream. The group of fairies now use magic all of the time and all is well in fairyland.

Lucky me.

Today I have had no inspirations for writing about fairies. No fairies have visited me and my garden is quiet with no one eating my ripe strawberries. On days like this I tell myself I should feel lucky that I have such friends as the fairies. On most days my garden is a playground for the fairies. I have built two swings for the fairies and a slide that is most popular, my old wheelbarrow with its two comfortable cushions invites the fairies to copy me and have a little sleep especially on warm sunny days. At other times the two cushions are used for pillow fights and all have great fun.

I must be in a sad mood today for I am missing my little friends. I think that It would be for the best If I went for a walk In the woods or fairyland, perhaps I will see some of my winged friends or even my friends the wild animals, one never knows what will turn up on a stroll through the enchanted woods of fairyland. The day Is warm and the grass Is soft underfoot, I am the type of man that walks quietly when In nature’s garden and today I am being rewarded for my silence, the first of the animals I saw was a mother deer with her baby. The jay told me that another animal was following the path that the deer were on. Jays are birds that always tell all of the inhabitants of the woods that some animal or human Is on their way, no matter how quiet one, is the jay will always tell all of nature that a disturbance is in sight. I used to dislike the jays until I realised that they were responsible for warning all of the animals when danger or the threat of danger is about.

I saw the old badger he was on his way looking for hit breakfast. I have often seen him here in the woods and know that he is a peaceful animal unless something upsets him then he too can be very dangerous. The woodpecker greeted me a sharp knocking of his very sharp pointed beak as he made yet another hole in the tree trunk. He is probably looking for grubs that hide under the bark of trees, in the early spring I heard him as he pecked a hole in the tree for his nest. His knocking soon faded as he flew off somewhere else to look for his food. I decided to follow the path that leads along the banks of the stream. It Is very quiet and one would think that nothing apart from myself existed the stream though Is alive with small fish, I see the quick little minnows darting here and there obviously on very Important business. Tadpoles too were swimming in the clear water of the stream some had nearly turned into small frogs.

The kingfisher with his bright blue feathers was the next thing that I saw. His movements were so quick that I had to look very hard to see him as he dived Into the water of the stream and flying up on to a twig he held a minnow In his beak, turning the fish around In his beak he swallowed the fish headfirst. Yes nature is sometimes cruel but all have to eat It Is like an ever-lasting circle, birth, eat or be eaten. Then death I have seen it all here in the quiet of the woods. Later I retraced my steps and went back home to my garden I have seen no fairies today. I cannot write about the playing of the fairies but I am really lucky I have the woods with its stream. The animals, the birds and all of the small creatures that one finds In streams, all of these I have seen, no I have seen no fairies but I am a very lucky man I have nature at the end of my garden that Is why I have entitled today little story lucky me.

Rough Night.

The night is one of the worse that I have had in a very long time. Weird dreams following one after the other, twice I woke covered in sweat and had to get out of bed and change my bedclothes and my pyjamas. The dream I had before I awoke was very strange, half reclining on a fluffy cloud I directed some fairies that were steering the cloud through the night sky. This dream was not unpleasant I lay deeply embedded in the cloud and watched the millions of stars in the heavens over my head. Here and there a bright shooting star would flash across the heavens, I lay marvelling at the speed the shooting stars developed.

Head for home I called to the fairies and the cloud changed direction and slowly drifted to earth. I know you are thinking to yourselves this dream could not happen in real life. In a dream everything is possible but to fly across the heavens on a white fluffy cloud with what’s more unbelievable fairies steering the cloud. I can only tell you what happened. The cloud got lower and lower and I found myself right In the middle of my potato patch in my back garden. The cloud had completely melted to water and the fairies were gone. I felt such a fool lying in a small pool In the middle of my growing potatoes.

Later on, it was about ten thirty in the morning the same four fairies flew in through my kitchen window. “We have come for our pay,” they called out on seeing me. I was completely taken aback “pay?” I called “yes pay.” They said. I did not know what to make of all this, fairies asking for pay; surely they knew that I was asleep and in the dream world. I had a thought and suddenly pinched myself in my arm. It hurt; no I was not dreaming again the fairies were real. “I will pay you but you must take me back to where I was last night, I want to do the journey all over again. I thought to myself this is something even they cannot do I am fully awake. I found myself once again on a cloud sailing through the sky this time the sun shone down brightly and I thought to myself I hope the sun does not melt the cloud I have no such thing as a parachute. On and on sailing through the heavens I watched as the cloud passed over the English channel the sea was calm over France through Germany, below me I could see the motorways full with traffic speeding through the countryside. Poland came next over other countries some of whom I did not even knows the names of. Over a desert bare rocks and sand on and on until I recognised the Great Wall of China.

Over the Pacific Ocean the cloud was now going very fast, it was as If it was trying to make up for lost time. California was now spread out under me through the American states until I saw once again the Atlantic ocean the cloud Is by now very thin and I was afraid that It would melt before we reached England strangely enough the cloud got thicker and thicker as we passed over the Atlantic ocean, slowing down I saw that the cloud was now at a standstill over my potato patch again, the cloud slowly sank and I stood this time among my growing potatoes. The fairies now demanded their pay as they called It. Going Into my house I took a packet of ginger snaps from my larder and placing them on a plate I told the fairies to take what pay they thought they had earned. I was very much surprised as they each took just one ginger snap; I had expected to give them each a full packet of the ginger biscuits. Now before I go to my bed I make myself a thermos can of coffee just to be on the safe side one never knows with these night journeys, I would hate to be caught without a warm drink especially on a damp cloud, flying around the world.

The old oak tree.

The fairies are In a strange mood, no fairy Is to be seen working, no fairy to be seen playing all are sitting around on toadstools and seem to be waiting for something to happen. Normally I am not a nosey kind of person and would have taken no notice of the fairies and their peculiar goings on but this behaviour intrigued me. I decided to stay a while and see what would happen. Making myself comfortable under the old oak tree where I usually sat, I pretended to drop off into a deep sleep. If a fairy saw me sleeping under the old oak it would be normal for them as I often, especially on very warm days have a nap here.

One hour went by then another and still no movement from the waiting fairies. I must admit I had made myself comfortable and slept through the first two hours. Then from the oak tree an owl glided down from a bough that was hidden from my eyes and glided silently down to the waiting fairies. The owl had tied to one of its legs a small piece of paper. One of the fairies quickly untied the paper and read it to the other fairies. I was too far away to hear what was said. The fairies now went about their work and playing as If nothing had happened. The fairy that read the note to them that she untied from the owls leg carelessly threw the small piece of paper away. This was most unusual behaviour as all fairies were from babies on taught to look after the woods that made up most of fairyland.

I waited under the old oak tree until the fairies were gone then I got up stretched my self thoroughly and walked over to where I could see the piece of paper that had been thrown away by the careless fairy. Picking up the piece of paper I found that it was folded together in such a way that I could not open it without destroying it. I decided to take the paper home with me and open it up slowly without tearing or destroying the note. I decided to cook my meal and look at the paper after I had eaten my lunch. Quickly peeling some potatoes, I placed them in a saucepan and put them on the fire to cook. I shelled a few peas and also put them into a pot to cook. I opened a tin of corned beef to go with the potatoes and peas. Laying my table with a knife, fork and spoon I sat thinking of a way to open the specially folded paper that the fairy had thrown away. I must admit I was getting nosier every minute. What message had the owl brought to the fairies?

Quickly straining the potatoes and the peas I placed some on a plate with two thick slices of corned beef. A little pepper and salt and my lunch was ready to be eaten. I quickly gave thanks and after eating my meal and washing up the pots and pans and plates with the cutlery I took the specially folded piece of paper and after a lot of effort I manage to open it without tearing or destroying it. On reading the note I started to smile and then to laugh out loud. With tears running from my eyes I read once more what had been written. Mr. Shaw the teller of fairytales is very nosey and to teach him a lesson we the fairies have put together this little plan. The owl would help us as it always does and Mr. Shaw always sleeps under the oak. We will pretend that we have nothing to do, no fairy will play, no fairy will work, and we will all sit on toadstools and act as If we are waiting for something to happen.

This will make Mr Shaw to wonder what we are waiting for and he will do as he always does, he will sit under a tree and pretend to sleep. All of the time he will be watching us so that he can write another fairytale, we the fairies greet Mr. Shaw and wish him well with his next fairy story. I must say it was with some little lack of confidence that I next went to fairyland. The fairies greeted me as they always do and nothing was said of their little prank and my falling for it. I still find the incident amusing and sometimes you may see me having a little smile all to myself. I did not know that the fairies have such a sense of humour.

Apples and luck.

Deep In the woods that are part of fairyland there stands an old apple tree. The apple tree bears lovely big apples, apples that when one bites into one, a feeling of immense luck overcomes one. The fairies have been told not to eat of the fruit of this tree, as fairies have no need of feelings of luckiness. One day an elderly woman that often wanders through fairyland looking for herbs and plants from which she makes medicines and lotions; came across the tree. The apples were ripe and more or less invited one to pick and eat of the fruit.

The elderly woman picked an apple from the lucky apple tree and bit into the apple. The feeling of luck that flooded over her was overwhelming. Looking carefully all around her she picked a dozen or more apples and hurriedly made her way home to her cottage. The apples she placed carefully on the kitchen table and wondered how she could use the apples for use in her medicines. Leaving the apples on the table she made herself a small meal and thought all of the time about the apples. Finally she crushed the apples and boiled them on her kitchen stove. When the apples were cooked she strained the juice from the apples that she had crushed into pulp and carefully filled a number of bottles with the freshly made apple juice.

Later that evening she was called to a local farmer whose children were badly suffering from a fever and headaches. Mixing some of the apple juice in the potion that she used to fight the fevers she went to the farmhouse and after looking at the children and feeling their foreheads she told the farmer and his wife that the children had a fever and a very bad head cold. “I will leave you a bottle of this medicine; give the children twenty drops in some warm water, this should clear the fever and help to fight against the head cold.” As an after thought she told the farmer and his wife to also take some of the drops It would stop them from catching the children’s colds.

Thanking the elderly woman they gave her a dozen eggs to take with her and the elderly woman went back home. The following day the elderly woman had a visit from the farmer’s wife; we would like to buy some of the mixture that you gave the children yesterday evening. We took a dose ourselves and it was wonderful we think that it would be good to have some in the house In case anyone catches a new cold. The farmers wife took from the bag she was carrying a chicken ready for cooking it had been plucked clean of all its feathers and the Innards had been removed. The elderly woman gave the farmer’s wife another bottle of her fever medicine with the fresh apple juice from the apples that she picked in fairyland.

Happily going back to her farm with the bottle of fever mixture clutched tightly in her hand the farmer’s wife left the elderly woman. The woman realised that there was something about the apples that if she used it wisely many people would give her food for her new mixture. Going Into the woods of fairyland she looked for the apple tree. Imagine her disappointment when after looking for hours she found no apple tree. What was she to do without the luck apples she could make no more of the medicines, no more food would come her way.

Meanwhile Her Majesty Queen Feeanna saw the elderly woman in her magic mirror and realised that the woman had eaten of the apple tree fruit, which was out of bounds to all of the fairies. Her majesty realised that the elderly woman had led a hard life and had a rough time trying to make ends meet. Her majesty led the elderly woman to the tree where the woman picked as many apples as she could carry. On her way home a strange man asked her if she could give him something to eat. The elderly woman put her hand into her basket that was full of the luck apples and gave the man one of the rosy red apples. The surprise the elderly woman had when the man turned into the queen of all the fairies, Queen Feeanna.

“Do not be afraid I mean you no harm I am Queen Feeanna, Queen of all the fairies.” “You have eaten of the luck apple tree and what is more you have given some of the juice to others.” “These apples that you now have in your basket you may keep; use the juice of the apples wisely and only give it to people that are really Ill.” “The luck apple tree you will find no more but see this little flower.” Her majesty showed the elderly woman a pretty little white flower with tinges of red In Its petals. “This little flower you will always find on your journeys to and from the woods, use It for making your medicines It too will give whoever drinks of Its juices have a feeling of luck. Not as Intense as with the fruit from the luck apple tree but this little flower Is harmless and will not hurt anyone that drinks of It. Go home and have a happy fulfilled life. Her majesty disappeared leaving a wiser elderly woman on the way to new happiness.

Make believe land

A blue sky with small white clouds scurrying busily across the painting that my eyes were seeing; while lying on my back In the sunshine led me Into a state of well being. The warmth coming from the ground that had been heated by the sun for two long weeks pervaded my longing body. The occasional bird that flies past on some unfathomable business; cries from other birds did not disturb my peaceful day in the woods known as fairyland. Like all of this wooded paradise a strange fascination, a feeling of enchantment envelopes ones imagination. There is no escape from this enchantment, one is caught up in the ever-changing scenes of a child’s brain that is on the search for that, which all know is impossible.

The feats of magic performed easily by the childish mind, the turning of beings into other objects at just a mere thought. All is possible here in fairyland; to under strike all of this; a magic wand is a necessity for the entire human race over six years of age but not to a child. These thoughts and many more raced through the twists and bends of my mind, all on a continuous search for something that just could not be explained in ordinary words that all can understand. It Is this fascination that brings me back day after day to this world of make believe. Like the strongest drug my mind is addicted to this magic world of my imagination. It is possible for me to speak with all of the inhabitants, the fairies, the animals, the birds and all of the Insects.

Why In my mind all of the characters that have come down through the years as part of human superstition or fear, I conjure up with one small thought, the little people, the leprechauns, trolls, bogeys and all of the others not forgetting the pixies. My characters are all musicians; all are authors, artists, and singers of great reputation. They are that what I want them to be, many people say they do not exist, they are just figments of my imagination. They have no standing in a world that is controlled by big business. The first formative years of a child are filled with all of my characters they are born with the child into this world. They stop the child from getting mentally Ill from all of the new, sometimes threatening situations that many children face, children born Into rich or poor families all have this Inborn mental facility to escape Into their own world of make believe.

Why are children even at birth given a teddy bear or some other cuddly toy to hold and to hug? In the beginning of the human period when man descended from the trees the female had her child strapped in one way or another to her body. There were no cuddly toys or teddies in those far off days. Babies did not cry for fear of putting the whole tribe in danger, toys and cuddly things came much, much later. In between feedings the child Is left much alone In Its cot or playpen, no comforting touch of mother’s beating heart on to babies skin as It was In the past years. The baby is now alone. He or she sees things that are hidden to adult eyes, things like pictures build up in the brain; a new world becomes apparent for the child.

A world of make believe is born once again in another mind. Some of us never loose this world of make believe we are perhaps the happiest, the luckiest of all In spite of the many adversities that this life brings with It. How many people read books to escape from this world that we are forced to live In. Forced through circumstances through birth and other catastrophes of life in this so-called modern world.

The scarecrow.

On a farm quite near to fairyland a farmer ploughed and sewed corn in what was known as the long meadow. The farmer was of the old school and there was always a strip of his land that was left barren. This barren land was used to graze the cows or sheep. This meant that the field where he grew his corn was only used every seven years. The crops from the long meadow were the envy of many of the farmers that were neighbours of the farmer. All went well until a flock of crows came to the area to live.

The crows were a hungry folk and when the corn was ripe they descended on to the long meadow and ate more than their fare share of the crop. The farmer tried all that was in his power to scare the crows away. Where the crows nested the farmer would go with his shotgun and shoot the nests of the crows. This he did every year but the crows had decided that this area was the best for them to live after all there was plenty of food and they stayed put. As soon as the farmer shot the nests to pieces the crows rebuilt the nests. Crows are very intelligent birds and soon they had built nests in all of the trees near to the long meadow.

There were so many nests that the farmer did not know what nests to shoot at to get rid of the crows. The farmer’s wife asked him why he did not build scarecrows and place them around the long meadow. When she a little girl her father placed scarecrows all around the fields where crops grew. The farmer gave the Idea some thought and decided to try scaring the crows away with scarecrows. Soon he had built some ten different scarecrows. All were carefully stuffed with straw all had a jacket and trousers and all had a hat or cap on its head. The farmer all over his farmland then placed the scarecrows. Long meadow became the biggest and best of the scarecrows. This scarecrow had an old tobacco pipe sticking out of his mouth and from a distance looked quite real. It soon was spoken all around the district that the farmer had built his scarecrows.

It was not long before the fairies discovered these strange beings that the farmer had built. The scarecrows did not scare the crows away; for one day I saw three of the birds sitting on the arms of the scarecrow in long meadow. When the corn was ripe the crows still ate their fill as they did before the scarecrows were built. The farmer came along to see how well the corn was ripening, he despaired when he saw that the whole colony of crows were busy eating his corn. Taking his shotgun from his shoulder he fired a few shots into the air. The crows looked up to see what the noise was about but still ate the corn. The fairies saw how much the farmer was suffering at the loss of his corn and decided to help the man.

They talked about various plans for getting rid of the crows but like most of the fairy’s plans no one could agree what was the best way to get the crows to move away somewhere else. The fairies came to me and asked my advice but I could not help them and told them to seek advice from the fairy queen, Queen Feeanna. Going to her majesty the fairies told her about the farmer who worked his land so well. Why he only planted crops on a rotating system, which meant that all of his fields were left barren for six years. This farmer, they told her majesty was not a greedy man and that they felt sorry for him all of his hard work ploughing the fields then harrowing them his careful sewing of the seed. Of how he looked at the heavens to see whether it would rain when rain was needed and of his anxious looking at the skies when it came to harvesting his corn.

The fairies put forward such a good case for the farmer that Her Majesty decided to help the man. With all of the fairies she went to the cornfield. Hundreds of crows were circling in the air waiting to swoop down to eat the ripe corn. Taking her magic wand from the sleeve of her dress she spoke some words in the old fairy language and the crows turned into rain beetles. Since then no crows have been seen in the district and the farmer thinks that his scarecrow had got rid of the crows for him. He no longer goes around with a shotgun and every seven years he harvests his field of golden corn as If there had never been any crows to bother him.

Lost.

The whole of fairyland is on the move. A young fairy has not been seen for over a week. The fairies have searched the whole of fairyland every bush every tree even the burrows of the animals have been visited. She was nowhere to be found. Her majesty queen Feeanna has used her magic powers to try and trace the fairy there is no sign of her not even in the truth mirror that her majesty carries with her. This mirror when something is placed on to it will show pictures of whoever the owner of the thing is. It could be a handkerchief a button even something that one has held in his or her hands for a few seconds. The days are going by and still no news of the fairy. Her majesty called all of the birds and the wild animals of the woods and fairyland together and asked them to help in searching for the fairy.

The birds were led by the thrush that Is the bird with the speckled breast to lead the birds in their search. The robin with the red breast was to bring messages to and from Her Majesty. Another day went past still no sign of the fairy. As a last resort her majesty asked Mother Nature to help look for the missing fairy. The winds go everywhere on this earth even the rain was asked to help. The first to find the fairy or had news of her was promised a handsome reward by her majesty. Mother nature instructed all of the winds to blow in to every open door and window and to be extra careful as they look for the missing fairy.

One fairy Janefee reported to her majesty that she had seen the missing fairy riding on the fox’s back. Her majesty called the fox to come and tell her about the fairy riding on its back. The fox willingly told her majesty that fairies often ride upon its back but that it did not remember Janefee having a ride. Her majesty knew that the fox was telling the truth and thanked him for being so cooperative. The winds blew into every nook and cranny looking for the missing Janefee. One gust of wind reported that it had seen a large old fox near the house of the wizard Magenblow; it went Into Magenblow’s house. Her majesty asked Mother Nature to send more wind to the house of Magenblow. One morning as Magenblow opened his door the gust of wind nearly blew him off his feet as it burst Into Magenblow’s house. The wind saw the fairy Janefee and reported back to mother nature. “Janefee Is being held captive in a large cage, she looks very unhappy.” Mother Nature told Her Majesty about the reported fairy being held captive In Magenblow’s house.

Her majesty took from her dress pocket her magic wand. Waving the wand and murmuring a magic spell, Magenblow shrunk to the size of a flea. Her majesty appeared In Magenblow’s house and freed Janefee. Murmuring yet another spell Her Majesty and Janefee watched as Magenblow turned into a fox. Another wave of her magic wand and the cage that held Janefee fell apart. Janefee was free. Her majesty took Janefee’s hand and whoosh they were back in fairyland. Janefee then told Her Majesty Queen Feeanna that the fox or Magenblow had turned her into a speck of dust and then run off with her to his house where he placed her in a cage. The magic mirror of her majesty showed Janefee but no one could see her because she was so small. That is why it took so long to find her. If Magenblow had not turned her back into a fairy the gust of wind would not have seen her and she would probably still be Magenblow’s prisoner.

Three holed stone.

Walking along the beach at Whitstable In Kent, not really paying attention to where I put my feet I tripped. Looking around to see why I had tripped I saw this stone. Not like any of the other pebbles on the shoreline of Whitstable, not brownish more of a greyish white. Picking up the stone I saw that something had worn three holes in the stone. I could see no marks of a chisel or a grinding stone It was as If the seawater had worn the three holes in the stone. I have never seen a stone like this before and decided to pick it up and take it with me.

I have a leprechaun friend who is an expert on stones. Walking back to my car I drove home to my house on Dartford heath, I arrived home about seven o’clock in the evening. The stone I placed In the kitchen sink, I wanted to wash It before I put It on my shelf where I have other odd pieces that are In some way or other peculiar or as I say weird to look at. I made and ate a sandwich washing it down with a cup of sweet tea. I nearly forgot about the three holed stone, it was after I washed my cup and saucer, dried and put them away in the dresser I saw the stone again. Washing the stone very carefully I placed it on the shelf with all of the other curious things I have collected in a long lifetime.

I watched the television for a while, then washed and got undressed ready for my bed. Some time during the night I awoke with this feeling that something was wrong. Getting up out of my warm bed, I put on my old dressing gown and taking the bedside torch I lit my way down stairs. As I entered the kitchen I saw that on the shelf with all of my other curiosities that the stone with the three holes shone very brightly. The light coming from it was of a greenish nature and looked somehow very pretty. Taking the stone in my hand I looked through first the one hole then through the other two holes. What I expected to see I do not know, the first hole showed a picture of a mermaid swimming in a calm sea. The mermaid was smiling at me or rather at my left eye. I nearly dropped the stone in surprise I had not expected to see anything like this.

Looking through one of the other holes I saw what looked like king Neptune complete with his three-pronged fork. The third hole showed a picture of me looking through the very stone that I held in my hand. Walking across the room I switched on the electric light. Looking again at the stone I saw that the greenish light had vanished there was just this three-holed stone. I looked carefully again through each of the three holes, nothing was to be seen. Placing the stone back on the shelf I went back to bed.

The following morning I took the stone with me into the woods that makes up the part of fairyland on Dartford heath. I sat under the old oak tree studying the stone. Her majesty appeared in her usual fashion, a puff of smoke and a bright blue flash. We exchanged greetings and I showed her majesty my stone that I had picked up on the beach at Whitstable. We agreed that the stone was most unusual, we had both seen stones with just one hole worn Into them; but a stone with three holes this really Is something out of the ordinary. “May I place your stone on my magic mirror?” Her Majesty asked. Pulling from a pocket in her dress the marvellous magic mirror, her majesty placed the stone onto the mirror, the stone lit up in the same greenish light that I had seen the night before. “Look through the holes Your Majesty.” I said. Her majesty saw the same pictures that I had seen on the previous night.

The mermaid, king Neptune and now the third hole in the stone showed her majesty looking through the hole. The mirror then started speaking, “this is the stone that the wizard Majorca cast a spell on, and it was used to spy out the kingdom of king Neptune under the sea. The mermaid found the stone and knowing there was a spell on the stone she threw it as far on to the land as she could, I found this stone among all the millions of stones on the beach at Whitstable. I asked her majesty to take the spell from the stone that Magoricum had placed on it, as I wanted to keep the stone for my little collection of curios that were on my shelf.

I did not want anyone else to pick up the stone and see what I had seen. Her majesty to oblige me waved her magic wand and the stone was what It should have been all along just a strange stone with three holes In It. Thanking her majesty I took the three holed stone back to my house and placed It once again on my shelf of curiosities. It is still there and any one may look at it but no one will see what I saw that Is, the mermaid, king Neptune, and myself looking through the third hole.

  The glass eye.

One day, some fourteen years ago, a man came into fairyland he carried a piece of cardboard on which was written. Glass marble for telling me where the best blackberries are to be found. This piece of cardboard was hanging on a string around his neck. A leprechaun wanted a marble, he had collected most things in his long life but nowhere had he found a marble. Speaking to the man he promised to show him where the biggest and ripest blackberries were to be found. The marble exchanged hands and the leprechaun showed the man where to find the blackberries. It was years later that the leprechaun showed me the marble. I got a shock it was not a marble but a glass eye. The eye was expertly made and it looked very real. The leprechaun exchanged his marble for a piece of magic fairy gold. Now the glass eye belongs to a fairy who played with It for a while then got fed up with the marble or as I shall now call It the glass eye. Playing In the woods the fairy lost the glass eye, it was found by another fairy that showed it to her majesty queen Feeanna. Queen Feeanna gave the fairy a lovely scarf In exchange for the glass eye. The fairy went off with the lovely soft silk scarf and her majesty sent the glass eye to the fairy university. Here at the university a wise old fairy put the glass eye Into a drawer and forgot about It for a long time. One day she looked into the drawer for a special paper that she used for writing notes. On seeing the glass eye she remembered that her majesty had sent the eye to be examined. So as not to forget the glass eye the wise old fairy placed it on a shelf telling her that she would examine it later when she had more time. A little later the wise old fairy had the feeling that she was being watched. The feeling grew on her and she became very uneasy. Calling the caretaker of the fairy university she asked him to check the room to see whether any outside Influences were trying to get at her.

The feeling Increased as she gave a lecture on the making of fairy gold. Writing on the huge blackboard she wrote down the names of some metals and some chemical formulas that proved that her method of making gold was right. The feeling of being watched soon overcame all of the professors and students that were attending her lecture. One of the professors spoke the magical spell that stopped everything that was written and said in the room could not leave the room. Then all gave the room a thorough going over; soon the glass eye was discovered. Another spell was spoken and the owner of the eye could not see any more. He had other things on his mind than fairy gold and went everywhere with a white stick looking for someone to help him. One day he came across fairyland. The fairies were most helpful and soon took the man to see queen Feeanna. Queen Feeanna took one look at the man and knew that he had been placed under a fairy spell. Taking the blind man’s hand she placed it on her magic mirror. The pictures that her majesty saw told her all about the man’s attempt to get the secret of making fairy gold. She saw the man with the cardboard notice around his neck. The leprechaun that showed him the blackberry bushes that held the ripest and largest fruits. Then the fairy that thought that she was holding a glass marble. Then the queen remembered the glass eye that she herself had sent to the fairy university to have examined and finally the learned professor that had blocked the man from getting the secret of making gold and of his blinding the man. Her majesty took pity on the man and lifted the spell from him. The man could see again and gave his solemn promise not to spy on the fairies again. He left fairyland a much wiser man than he was as he placed the notice around his neck.

The clock.

The clock is very old, no one knows who or where it was made. The face of the clock Is a delight to look at; small cherubim’s looked at one with Innocent eyes smiling as If they held a secret that they were not going to tell. The numbers around the clock had been painted by an artist the long hand of the clock was of silver the short a golden colour. The clock had been In the Shaw family for at least five generations. Family members told each other that the clock held a secret. What the secret is no body knows. The clock passed into my hands some forty years ago, I am the last of the Shaw family. One day I decided once and for all to find out what the secret of the clock was. An old hobby of mine was the cleaning and repairing of clock and watches. It Is a fascinating hobby and one can spend much time and money repairing the different clocks and watches that people bring to ones door for cleaning, oiling or repairing. I have one room in my old house that I use for cleaning oiling and repairing clocks and watches. Taking the family clock into my small workroom I carefully opened the front glass and took off the large and small hand. As I was doing this I could have sworn that the cherubs smiled a knowing smile. Perhaps I thought to myself It Is my imagination; I am letting myself be influenced by the history and the saying of the clock. What secret could such a clock have? Next I took the face of the clock with the smiling cherubs off and placed it carefully to one side. The face is somehow like that, one wants to protect it for some reason or other. I next turned the clock around and looked into the inside of its works. Nothing secret about this, I have repaired many a similar clock to this. There was not much for me to do but clean and oil the wheels and cogs that make up the inside of a clock.

No secret here I thought to myself my family would have been very disappointed to know that the old clock held no secret whatsoever. Putting the clock back together I carefully placed wheels and cogs with their axles into place on the retaining members. Finishing off the inside putting together of the clock I started It; the familiar tick, tuck was somehow different It was softer than It had been before I took It to pieces and cleaned It. The oil I thought to myself makes the clock run smoother. It was now time to replace the face of the clock. The cherubs were still smiling as they had always done but something is now different. It came, as a small shock to me as I saw that each cherub was opening its mouth, they are speaking to each other was my next thought. I spent some two days staring at the cherub’s mouths trying to fathom out what they were saying. Was this I thought to myself the secret that has been told in the family for years? Then I started to read the moving lips, he is a Shaw, he has cleaned and oiled our works shall we tell him the secret that we were entrusted with by our maker all of those years ago. I was getting rather excited, were the cherubs really going to tell me the Shaw secret. Take both the large hand and the small hand from the clock’s face and place them back on in the wrong order. I placed the long hand on the short hands axle and the long hand on the short hands axle. I was not prepared for what happened next. Take some turpentine and wash away our faces and you will be rewarded. This I did not want to do the faces are so beautifully painted and the face of the clock would be ruined. I left the clock and went back to my kitchen where I made myself a cup of warm sweet tea. I sat and slowly drank my tea should I use turpentine and wash away those sweet pretty faces? Then I decided to put the clock back together and use it as my family have done for generations. Let some other Shaw learn the secret of the clock. I am not a nosey person and the secret is still safe with my family. Perhaps In some future generation of Shaw’s the clock will divulge its secret.

The beekeeper.

Along the heath road there lives a man with his wife that keeps bees. He has fourteen hives and his bees produce some excellent honey. On the heath the flowers are of the wild type typical for this part of Kent. The gorse bushes are very prevalent and much of the honey comes from the gorse bushes. The bees that I am going to tell you about were once very protective of their heath as they called it among themselves. Some three thousand years ago many other Insects such as wasps, hornets not forgetting the butterflies that also rely on pollen from the flowers for their food and to feed their young used the heath. The bees in those far off days were very aggressive and attacked on sight any and every Insect that came into their territory. Soon the fairies were complaining that they had no work to do. Painting flowers bushes and trees was not enough there were no more Insects on the heath to paint and In the winter months there were no butterflies and moths to take with them when they all went to the large caves under the Himalayan mountains where all fairies and others of the little folk spent the cold hard winter months. When no butterflies and moths came to the caves how was the pollen to be distributed among the flowers? The trees and plants, the flowers and all of the fruits that needed the Insects to fly from flower to flower and bush to bush so that new fruits would grow. Going to the fairy queen they told her majesty how things were on the heath and of their fears for the plants and flowers in the winter caves. Her majesty called a meeting of all of the queens of the bees. The bees in those far off days were much bigger than they are today bees were as big as the sparrow is today. The queen bees were twice the size of a sparrow. When all were at the meeting and her majesty had used her magic to turn the soldier bees away from the queen bees. Her majesty spoke to the gathering of queen bees. “It has been brought to my attention that the bees are killing off any Insect that shows itself on the heath.” “The heath at Dartford Is as you all know for the use of all Insects. This terrible killing has got to stop.” The queen bees on hearing the words of her majesty became very angry and threatened to sting any fairy that they should meet. Her majesty queen Feeanna waved her magic wand and all was still. The queen bees could not talk and not even move. Her majesty seemed to be thinking, for some five minutes she said nothing. Then she made this announcement. “All bees will from this minute on shrink to a size small enough for other Insects to protect themselves if the bees attack them. What Is more whenever a bee uses It sting to attack another being It will automatically loose Its sting not like It Is now bees have been able to use their stings many times.” “Go back now to your homes and tell all bees, the workers, the soldiers and the drones that to sting means loosing ones life so think very carefully whenever you feel the urge to use your stings.” The queen bees gathered their soldier escorts and made their way home to their hives. From that day on bees are small as we see them now. Everyone has forgotten the time when the bees were as big as sparrows. Now Dartford heath is home to many Insects, there are still wild bees but most are from the hives of the man living in the heath road. This little story her majesty queen Feeanna told me and asked me, to ask you not to swat your hands and wave your arms about whenever you see a bee or a wasp. If you leave them alone they will leave you alone. Seems like good advice to me, what do you think?

November.

Today Is one of those days that I dread, It Is misty the clouds are low on the ground and what makes It worse there Is nothing to do In my garden. The end of November is always a sad time for me. No fairies to be seen most of the birds have flown away over the winter months. My eyes are tired from too much reading. To go for a walk in the woods or fairyland is not really a pleasure. The fairies and the butterflies have all been sent to the huge caves under the Himalayan Mountains. I know that I could say the two magic words and I would be with them but somehow I did not want anyone to think that I am lonely. I decided to go to London to see the Christmas decorations and the lights, perhaps this will cheer me up and the thought of going to London again put a small smile of anticipation on my old face. I telephoned for a taxi to take me from Dartford railway station up to charring cross. As usual it was a slow train stopping at every station that was all right by me as it gave me time to look out of the train window. Nothing seemed to have changed since my last visit to London, the same old houses the back gardens some of which were well looked after, others were full of rubbish, I wondered how anyone could have a garden and not look after It. Flowers growing, with there lovely colours brighten up the tiniest piece of space, It seems such a shame. Then the train pulled into charring cross. Here I noticed that some changes had taken place, the station had been redecorated It looked a lot more cheerful than I remembered It. Then I made my way Into Oxford Street and turned left Into Soho. I am familiar with Soho and made my way to a small shop that sold curiosities. Looking Into the shop’s window I saw the usual bits and pieces that had accumulated over time. Going Into the shop I noticed that the old shop bell still rang when the door was opened. The man sitting on a stool behind the counter lifted his head for a moment and told me to look around I would be sure to find something worth having. I looked around the shop, most of the stuff I knew from previous visits. In a corner of the shop I saw something that caught my eye. On a small shelf was a box that had been carved by an expert, the lines of the carving intertwined forming a most strange looking pattern? Taking It from Its shelf I asked the man sitting on the stool how much he wanted for the box. I listened to his old voice, one shilling for you look after It, It will give you many a surprise. Putting the carved box in my rather large coat pocket I went into a small café and ordered a cup of coffee and a small cake. Paying for coffee and cake I made my way back to charring cross-station. I waited for about a half an hour before the train pulled in to the platform and I could embark the train going to Dartford. The journey back was the same as going with one exception now I sat on the opposite side of the train and saw the same old scene as going up to London. Carefully kept gardens and those filled with all kinds of rubbish. I was pleased when the train pulled Into Dartford station. Taking a taxi I went back to my house on the heath. Cooking myself a couple of eggs and a pot of tea. I examined my carved box. I realised that the box was filthy dirty and took it to the kitchen sink and carefully washed the dirt of ages from the box. For the first time in years the pattern now showed as the carver had carved It. Intricate lines Interwoven with one another showed what looked like a maze. Taking a small piece of wood I traced one line, only to loose it somewhere In the middle of the maze. Then I traced another only to loose this as well no matter how hard I tried I always lost my line somewhere In the middle of this maze. Tracing the next line from the middle of the box leading outwards as I came to the edge of the box, it opened a very small drawer. In the drawer a diamond not a raw diamond but one that had been carefully cut into a brilliant. It seemed to be on fire it was actually glowing. I placed the diamond back Into the box, closed the box and traced another line this time the box opened and I found a most beautiful pearl In the box. This carried on until I had found diamonds, pearls, rubies, amethysts and many more such gems. The box I placed on the shelf with my other curiosities and there It will stay let some one else find the secret of the box for themselves. I do not need precious stones after all I am not a jeweller just an ordinary workingman that loves his garden and all things natural.

Springtime.

The early flowers such as the snowdrops and the crocuses lifted me from my lethargy. I have been feeling very depressed and Ill at ease right through the long winter. What with the snow, the rain and the heavy winds, the weather has not been inviting to go out and enjoy the fresh air. The trees they too made me feel unwell, just seeing branches and twigs no leaves no blossoms is awful. The new flowers herald in the beginning of a new year. Now the trees are showing fresh young buds, they I know will turn into green leaves to please my old eyes. The sun is waiting to gather its strength to shine down on me, turning me into that what I am supposed to be in the long winter months, a human being. My senses come back to life I feel, like the trees, the sap climbing through my veins. My garden it seems is sending out calls for me to come and do the work that I always do at this time of the year. Soon a thought runs through my brain it will be time for the fairies to come back from their winter quarters under the Himalayan Mountains. The huge caves lit by a magic sun that shines down with enough heat to keep the fairies and the butterflies warm through the winter months. On my last visit to the caves the fruits that grow their are too numerable to count, food abounds just for the taking. I am the only human to posses the two magic words that will take me by magic to the caves. Her majesty queen Feeanna, queen of all the fairies, gave the two words to me. I have been in her majesties service for some sixty years now and many a time I have been able to help the little people of fairyland. My house on Dartford heath backs on to fairyland, fairies come and go in my house. In my attic they play with all of the old toys left over from my childhood. I always have ginger snaps In my house, the fairies love the sweet ginger biscuits In return I am given fairy cakes which taste out of this world. Fairy cakes are made from the petals of flowers, honey direct from the bees and the root of a secret plant that the fairies do not talk about. The fairy cakes give one strength and a feeling of wellness If ever you should be offered such a cake by a fairy do not refuse It or the fairies will not show themselves to you again. The special root I have many times asked the fairies to grow It In my garden where the soil Is dug twice a year well manured and all of my vegetables and flowers would If I were to enter them win most garden shows. The fairies always had some excuse no one would tell me what the root was called or what it looked like. On one of my visits to the caves under the Himalayan Mountains I saw one of the secret roots growing, as I went to have a real good look at It, It vanished before my eyes. Why am I telling you all this I can hear you asking? It is quite simple I have discovered the name of the secret root that is used to make fairy cakes. The petals can come from all sorts of flowers the honey from any honeycomb It Is just the root that is so special. One day I asked her majesty if I could have the name of the secret root to help feed the hungry peoples of the human world. Flowers and honey Is to be found all over the world except perhaps the North Pole and the South Pole. Her majesty thought long and hard about telling me the name of the root. “I will give you a clue you will only find the root In Its natural state In the Far East.” The next I knew I was travelling by magic a strange feeling that one must get used to. One sees nothing but one feels a terrific speed a flashing of coloured lights then brightness. I was at my destination. The name of the secret root I can tell you all today as It Is now known all over the world. It is ginseng. The fairies have used It for thousands of years to make their fairy cakes which give them strength and helps keep them well, I myself have never seen a fairy with a common cold. After my telling you all this I am going into my garden shed to prepare my gardening tools for the coming spring. Now that I am cleaning and oiling my tools I am feeling better, yes I am cheerful, I cant begin to tell you how happy I am to see the spring flowers.

Bluebells.

The woods are alive with bluebells, bluebells wherever one looks. I sat myself down by one of the trees and feasted my eyes on this wonderful colour scheme. The air buzzed with the noise of the bees that were flying from flower to flower. Looking closely I saw that the hind legs of the bees were thick with pollen. Other Insects joined in this throng of hungry flyers; butterflies gracefully flew from flower to flower collecting their share of the golden pollen. The warming sun shone high up in the sky somehow inviting me to close my eyes, which I did, fully relaxed I dozed off into a light slumber. The noise of the Insects flying around collecting the pollen made lovely background music, very soothing to my ears. Later I awoke surprised to see rabbits playing in among the bluebells, riding on the backs of the rabbits were fairies. Fairies do not exist. This thought passed through my mind and I dropped off to sleep again. My dream was of bees and rabbits, fairies and Insects all to the music of an unseen orchestra, I became very confused and then the fall, It was If I had fallen from tree. A quick light fall, I did not hurt myself, I awoke again this time the rabbits were gone just a prickly hedgehog kept me company. No fairies, no bees, no other Insects just the hedgehog grunting away. Listening to Its grunts I found myself knowing and understanding all that the hedgehog was saying, humans here in my home It Is a disgrace now there are no more Insects and I have five children to feed. Why does the stupid man not go home where he has a warm bed, must he sleep here in the woods? The bluebells have brought him here, he was not here when there were no bluebells. I will chew all of the stems of the bluebells and then there will be nothing to be seen but the dead stems. Another voice this time a loud voice, it seemed to be coming from a tree that was about six yards away from me. “If you touch even just one of these bluebells your children will go hungry, I will see to that.” with these words ringing In my ears I watched the tree, a tall woman very good looking, dressed In what looked like small fluffy clouds stepped from behind the tree. The hedgehog stopped grunting, she even stopped pushing her nose through the ground in her efforts to find some grub or worm for her children to eat. Looking up the hedgehog pushed all of its spines out which of course made her look bigger than she was. The woman spoke again. “Those spines of yours do not impress me. Look at me and tell me who I am.” The sun shone on the woman’s golden head of hair. The hedgehog lowered her spines and then with a loud grunt she said, “why It Is you mother nature, I did not mean to offend you, only It Is this human, what Is he doing here this Is the home of the flowers, the trees, the fairies and the animals and birds? He is scaring off what little food there is at this time of the year. I would not have touched the bluebells, as you know. Mother nature then spoke these words and I realised for the first time that the woods where I am laying are full with wild animals, foxes, badgers, stoats, deer, and many more all peeping out from behind trees and bushes listening to mother nature. “Silly creature do you not know that the humans are also my children.” The hedgehog waved her little stump of a tale and disappeared behind a clump of tall grass.” I got unsteadily to my feet and made a clumsy bow to mother nature. Smiling at me she disappeared. The bluebells rang out peel after peel of dainty music that I think only I have heard. The animals too slowly made their way to another part or parts of the woods and I was left alone with the bluebells. Looking at my old pocket watch I realised that I had been some eight hours in the woods and sadly I left the bluebells and trees listening to the soft whistling of the Dartford warbler a bird common to Dartford heath and made my way home.

The fire.

I awoke to a most unusual noise. Looking at my bedside table clock I saw that it was half past four in the early morning. For a minute or two I lay with my eyes closed trying to fathom what the noise was and where it came from. Opening my eyes again I noticed a reddish glow on the bedroom ceiling. I must admit I was still sleepy and thought the sun is early this morning it promises to be a fine sunny day. My next thought was alarm! Something is seriously wrong red sky at four o’clock in the morning. Jumping out of my bed I felt for my slippers and quickly putting on my dressing gown I looked out of my bedroom window. The heath was alight, what about my friends the animals the birds and above all the little folk, fairies, pixies, trolls and all of the others. Running downstairs I switched on the electric lights and made my way to the telephone. I quickly dialled nine, nine, nine, and asked for the fire brigade. Telling the operator on the other end of the phone that the heath was on fire. I was told the fire brigade was on its way. Quickly dressing myself I ran out into my back garden and turned on my garden hosepipe and led it out of my back garden gate. Turning on the water I sprayed water as far as the jet of water would reach soaking the shrubs and dry grass as best I could. I heard the fire engines coming ever nearer, the sirens were somehow reassuring at least I thought I am not alone with this fire. The owl that sits in the old elm tree flew down to where I was plying my hose. “How can we help?” She asked, “Try filling your mouths with water and drop the water on the fire, I cried back. The owl took off the next thing I knew hundreds of birds both large and small were flying over the heath; each had a mouthful of water not bothering to take aim the birds spat the water out onto the fire and flew off to the stream for more water. Over where the fire had started I could see jets of high-pressure water coming from the hoses of the fire brigade. Soon the glow died down and here and there a few smouldering heaps were to be seen. The firemen tackled each heap by raking them apart and hosing them down until even the glowing heaps disappeared. The chief of the fire brigade declared that the fire was out and I watched as the firemen rolled up their fire hoses and replaced them on to the fire engines. As the last fire engine drove off, I called the owl and asked her to get the help of the birds again this time to find out if any of the heaths animals and peoples had been injured. I was very pleased to hear that at the outbreak of the fire all of those animals, worms, frogs, toads, rabbits, foxes, badgers and all that lived on the ground; all had dug themselves deep into the earth. They were all safe. The birds had no casualties, my getting them to help put the fire out by getting mouthfuls of water, they were too busy to panic, the little people her majesty had said the two magic words and all had been sent to the huge caves under the Himalayan mountains. The living creatures had been saved from the fire by my waking and hearing a strange noise and seeing the red glow on my ceiling. The fire brigade had put the main fire out but my birds had made me proud to know them all by their prompt action. Soon the heath with the help of her majesty, queen Feeanna was back to normal and it was difficult to see where the fire had been raging. Later I read in the local newspaper that someone carelessly throwing away an empty bottle had caused the fire. The sun had shone on the glass and it acted as a magnifying glass that had set some dry grass to smoulder. Please do not throw away your empty bottles many are the animals and birds that die in such fires caused by man’s carelessness.

Magic dust.

I sometimes use magic dust to send myself off to sleep. There are times when owing to something I have seen or something I have heard; I cannot drop off into a refreshing sleep. Magic dust is a greyish powder that was given to me by her majesty queen Feeanna. I have a deep pocket on the right hand side of my jacket. This pocket no matter how much magic dust I take out of It, It refills itself immediately. I have used the dust many a time when I have been threatened by a wizard or a witch. I never know how the powder will work; I have turned witches into crows and wizards into large stone blocks. Animals turn friendly and wave their tales If I use even a little of the dust. Only once has the magic dust failed to work for me and this is the little tale that I want to tell you about today. Some years ago I happened to travel by train to south Wales, I had heard that up In the Rhondda valleys a witch had taken over a whole village. It is said that she used witchcraft and used some herbs that are not known to humans to make a special brew. This brew she had managed to pour into the water supply of the village and all of the people living in the village both men, women and children, were under her Influence. The surrounding farms that supplied the village with milk, butter and cheese were only allowed to sell these to the village peoples after they had paid the witch one silver three-penny piece. Three pennies does not sound like much money but in those far off days three pennies were needed to pay the rent of a cottage and was considered much money. The farmers had complained to the local Member of Parliament who had the news placed in the newspapers. Many people smiled at the Idea of a witch In these modern times charging farmers three pennies to be able to sell their milk, butter and cheese. The people of the village did not smile, as many farmers could not afford to pay three pennies that were being asked to let them into the village. This cutting In the newspaper gave the name of the village and of the witch, I will not tell you the name of either the village or of the witch as I am sure the villagers would not like to be made fun of when anyone mentions the name of their village. The train left Paddington, London, at four thirty in the afternoon and arrived at Cardiff In south Wales at midnight. There were no trains or busses going to the Rhondda valleys until the morning. I took a room at a small hotel and slept as well as I could in this strange bed. I found to my dismay that there were no trains going to the Rhondda valley as most of the trains had disappeared with the closing of the coalmines. This meant a bus ride It was going to be a long tiresome journey for me, only two busses went up as far as the Rhondda valleys. I had to change busses in a small place called Planarian after waiting for an hour the bus that was going to take me up Into the Rhondda valleys came into sight. Stopping with a squealing of brakes the bus pulled in to where I was waiting. I was the only passenger and felt a wave of relief when the bus finally pulled out into the road and carried on its way up Into the Rhondda valleys. Another shortstop at a place called Tonyrefail and soon we were in the valleys that I had come to investigate about the witch and the price she was charging the farmers. I finally arrived at the village sitting on the back of a farmers cart. The clip, clop of the hooves nearly sent me to sleep. The farmer had been very talkative and told me all about the witch and her goings on. Her latest stroke was to turn all the milk sour on the farms so that there was no butter or cheese to be had, not to mention milk. The witch I recognised immediately she sat right In the middle of the road leading into the village. “What is your business?” She called out to me. “I am the man sent to put a stop to your terrorising the poor people of this village.” Was my reply? The witch laughed, I took a hand full of magic dust from pocket and threw it at her. The dust hit her and fell slowly to the floor. It had not had the effect that I had expected of it. This was the first time that my magic dust had not worked. The witch took a step toward me, now she was actually standing in the magic dust; quick as a flash I threw another hand full of the dust over her. The effect was Instant, what was once a witch was now a pile of three penny silver pieces. The villagers rushed out of their homes, all were pleased that the witch was no longer here to charge the farmers for bringing in the milk, butter and cheese. Pointing to the three penny silver pieces I told the villagers to give the money back to the farmers, as it was rightfully theirs. My using the magic dust had not gone unnoticed for suddenly I was travelling by magic and In a few seconds found myself sitting In my old armchair, I was very refreshed and enjoyed the cup of sweet tea and ginger biscuits that I quickly prepared. It was as If I had never left my old house on Dartford heath.

The golden star.

Many, many people have told me that they cannot see the fairies. This does not surprise me, as It Is only the very young or the very old that have the privilege to see fairies either at work or at play. Fairies can and do disappear whenever they feel like It or they think that danger is near. The people that can see fairies have a golden star In the middle of their foreheads. This star comes of its own accord, when fairies see the golden star they know they have nothing to fear and may go on doing what they are doing or stop and play with their visitor with the golden star on their foreheads. This little story I am going to tell you are about a wizard that accidentally found out about this golden star. Three small fairies that had just left fairy school at the age of five were painting flowers with the magic of their magic wands. On seeing two small children coming into fairyland they noticed that one of the children had a golden star on its forehead the other child had no golden star. First the fairies disappeared only to show themselves they thought that if one child had a golden star both children would not harm them. The child with the star on its forehead saw the fairies and told the other child about them. The child without the star looked and looked but could see nothing. Picking up a stone he threw the stone to where the other child with the golden star had seen the fairies. The stone luckily just missed the fairies and they disappeared again. Unknown to the two children and the fairies a man, a powerful wizard had watched all that had happened later the fairies appeared again and while they were painting flowers they argued about the two children that they had previously seen. The one with the golden star and the other that threw the stone without a star on its forehead, soon an argument took place between the fairies about whom they could trust. The wizard listened carefully to what the fairies were saying. It did not take long for him to realise that people that could see the fairies had this golden star on their foreheads. The wizard had this Idea he went back to his house and experimented until he had found a paint suitable to paint a golden star on his forehead. With his newly painted golden star he entered fairyland again he saw fairies who thought that as he had a star he was harmless and they could show themselves without any danger. The wizard walked among the fairies and picked her and they’re a few herbs. He was actually listening to the conversations of the fairies in the hope of picking up a secret or two. Fairies do not talk about their secrets of magic and he heard nothing of Importance. Getting angry at his lack of success he made a big mistake he tried to grab a few fairies to take home with him, he would soon get their secrets out of them. The fairies as they saw what the wizard was up to pointed their magic wands at him, from twenty magic wands there came a stream of sparks and the wizard suddenly turned Into a very large toad. Her majesty queen Feeanna knew immediately that the fairies had used bundled magic. On hearing what the fairies had to say about the wizard and his having a golden star on his forehead, her majesty waved her magic wand and now no one has a golden star on his or her forehead, at the same time fairies were ordered to disappear as soon as humans came Into fairyland. Her majesty queen Feeanna told this little story to me one day, as I asked why humans cannot see fairies. Now you all know that although the fairies are with us every day no one sees them except for a very few young and a few old people see them.

Poor little fairy.

Taking my morning walk through the woods that are part of fairyland, I watched a pair of butterflies dancing and swinging as If they had no weight at all. For a while I must admit I was envious it must be wonderful to be able to fly as these two creatures were doing. The butterflies were soon out of my sight, the old fox ran across my path about twenty feet ahead of me then I saw the fairy. The fairy looked as If she needed a good wash, her clothes were ragged and also In need of soap and water. On seeing me she stopped and pointed her magic wand at me. Speaking gently I asked her why she was all-alone most fairies go around in twos and threes. With her magic wand still pointing at me she told me this little tale. In her part of fairyland way up in northern England she had made friends with a pixie. The pixie was a good friend of the witch Esmerelda, Esmerelda had got the pixie to become friendly to the fairy and then when they were playing hide and seek together the fairy ran off to a large bush to hide behind. This very bush the witch Esmerelda had chosen to capture the fairy. First Esmerelda using a magic wand of her own and speaking in the old fairy language took the magic away from the fairies wand. Then she made the fairy follow them wherever they went. The tears were running down the fairies face as she told me this story. I had an Idea, “are you hungry child? I asked. “Yes the witch Esmerelda only gave me a slice of some evil smelling black bread that she said she had made herself and it was awful. I ate the berries that I found and some nuts and I have not had a good meal for over a week.” waving my wand I produced a plateful of fairy cakes, “eat your fill my child,” I said to the fairy. The fairy ate three of the fairy cakes the rest she tried to stuff into her pockets. With her mouth full of delicious fairy cake she told me that the witch had promised the pixie that she would give her wings to fly. As you all know pixies have no wings and cannot fly but all pixies are jealous of the fairies. My next question was, “where do you live in northern England? Make a picture in your mind so that I can see where to send you. A picture of a small wooded area appeared in her mind then she showed me another picture of a large town with a well-known church. I recognised the church it was near to Newcastle. Waving my magic wand I sent the fairy dressed in fresh clothes back to her home. I waited for the witch Esmerelda to appear. Esmerelda holding the pixies hand came from behind some trees. Calling the fairy they came closer and saw me an old man dressed in an old tweed suit and a cap on his head. I must have looked harmless for the witch with the pixie asked me if I had seen a dirty little girl in the woods. Telling Esmerelda that I had seen no one but herself and the girl by her side, I let her get very close to me. Taking a handful of fairy dust from my pocket I threw it at the witch. Esmerelda stopped in her walk she could not move. The pixie also has a little of the powder fall onto her legs and she was now sitting on the ground she could only move from the waste upwards. I waved my magic wand and spoke to Esmerelda. You took a fairy and used this pixie with a promise that you would give her some wings so that she could fly. I will give her wings and waving my wand I turned the pixie into a lovely coloured butterfly. The pixie felt the freedom and with a flatter of her new wings she flew off never to be seen again. I then told Esmerelda that if she did not tell me where she had learned the old language of the fairies I would turn her into large black stone. If she told me how she had gotten hold of the old fairy language I would turn her into a creature of her own choice. One of the fairies at the fairy school had taken notes of the old language although it was forbidden to write it down. When she left school she had put her note books in her dress pocket and gone off to play with the other fairies. The witch Esmerelda had seen the notebooks fall from the fairies pocket and picked them up, she soon realised that she now held the key to making magic. “You have told me the truth,” I said. “What creature shall I turn you into?” Esmerelda thought for a few minutes and then said, “turn me into a glow worm, I would like to have been of some use before I die. Waving my magic wand and speaking In the old fairy language, I turned her not Into one glow worm, she had been a very tall witch; now she was about a thousand glow worms that flashed with light for a few seconds then flew off Into the woods. I can vouch for the truth in this story for I was mixed up right In the middle of It. Bern

Questions.  

What am I doing here in this boat? I must have been on the boat for quite some time I have got used to the swaying of the boat as it rides upon the water. My next question is where am I? All that I can remember is going to bed on Wednesday the fourteenth at eleven o’clock at night. I vaguely remember dropping off into a sleep. Looking at my watch I see that It Is now Monday the nineteenth It Is eight In the morning and I am laying In a boat that Is rising and falling; It Is not unpleasant, If only there were not so many questions going through my head. I rose my head and saw that the shore was only a short swim from the boat, should I jump over board and swim for the shore? Another question needing an answer, I decided that magic is playing a part in this somewhere or other. Who had the power to take me from my protected house and place me in a small boat? Only two people had such power and that was my friend and her royal majesty queen Feeanna, queen of all the fairies. But why place me in a small boat on the sea? Her majesty could have sent me to the winter quarters in the huge caves under the Himalayan Mountains could have protected me practically anywhere him with his magic shillelagh and his knowledge of magic, why am I In this boat? Am I to meet somebody? Am I here as part of a plan to save fairyland from some harm? All these questions and no answers It Is very frustrating. What shall I do? The boat suddenly moved at a most startling speed, faster and faster with me in the bottom of the boat wondering what was going to happen. I hoped that there was no barrier In the way of the boat such as logs from trees that get swept out to sea in storms or perhaps a box that has fallen off of a ship. High speed is especially when one is at sea a dangerous thing. The boat stopped as suddenly as it had started, I have no Idea how far we have come or even where I am. Sunshine is now shining down onto the boat and gentle warmth is going through my body, I now realise that I had been feeling cold before. A slight bump caused me to look up; I saw a friendly face that offered me a fresh coconut to drink. I realised I was thirsty and eagerly drank the refreshing juice of the nut. Welcome to Africa, I am Mbono chief medicine man of this part of Africa. He then lifted a wickerwork basket into the boat gave me another drink from another coconut. Smiling he wished me a pleasant journey and the boot moved off again at great speed. I do not know what drink was in the second coconut but It put me into a sleep that lasted until I awoke in my own bed. On the floor by my bed was the wicker basket. Looking at my watch the date was now the twentieth. What was in the wicker basket? What am I to do with it? Question after question, It Is time for me to do something I thought to myself. Whoosh a bright blue light a puff of smoke and with two other leprechauns he took hold of the wicker basket and all three disappeared. I am now able to move, quickly getting out of my bed I washed, cleaned my teeth, shaved and got dressed. Downstairs I prepared and ate my breakfast; I was just finishing my second cup of hot sweet tea; another blue flash and he was with me in my kitchen. “Hello what on earth has been happening to me? Boats high speeds over water; African medicine man, wicker baskets and drugged drinks, you’d better have a good explanation my friend.” I made pot of fresh tea and taking a packet of fresh ginger snaps from my larder I put them on a plate and sat ready to listen to what had to tell me. Her majesty had been taken Ill suddenly. The doctors from the fairy university hospital needed a drug from a plant that only grew In Africa. All of the witches and wizards were out to stop anyone helping her majesty. The news of the queen’s Illness had been kept secret but somehow word had got out and soon it was known all over the world that the fairies now had very little protection. It was decided to send me in a dream to Africa to get the drug; for my own safety it was decided to send me in the dream world. My being In a boot and the high speed over the water had all been part of the dream; I had not really met the medicine man, but I had through magic brought the drug or plants to make the drug to help cure her majesty. Now that the questions were answered I felt better except for the matter of time that I had been in this dream state, I had lost five days and nights in the dream. My last question, how will I make up for five lost days and nights? Can you tell me?

Kites.

Nothing that the fairies do; surprises me any more, I have gotten used to the various games they play, the way they sometimes copy the human folk. Last Saturday I was walking over the heath at Dartford and watched for a while as some young people flew kites. The kites were cleverly made some were of four or six kites hanging on to one another, by pulling on the strings the kites could be manoeuvred depending on how strong the winds were at that height. Watching these kite flyers for some time I realised that the fairies were using the kites to ride on in the strong winds; as the kites soared higher or dipped lower the fairies screamed in delight. The humans flying the kites did not see or hear the fairies although they must have wondered why the kites that they were flying were behaving so strangely. Finally the fairies had enough of the kites and I saw the more daring of them slipping down the strings holding the kites and jumping off the strings before they hit the hands of the kite flyers.

The next day I took my usual walk into fairyland and was somewhat surprised at what the fairies were doing. All were making kites; everywhere I looked there were kites in all kinds of stages only one was actually finished. One of the fairies told me that the main difficulty was to get the spiders to spin extra strong thread to stop the kites blowing off in the wind. This problem they had overcome by feeding the spiders fairy cakes dipped in wild bees honey. The spiders were producing finely spun threads that the fairies wound onto a piece of wood; at least thirty spiders had been bribed to work on the threads. Spiders love fairy cakes especially when they are dipped into honey, not many people know this. The fairies found out the spider’s love for fairy cakes dipped into wild honey a long, long time ago. They often make use of this knowledge when they need new cloth for hankies or dresses or other clothes that are woven from the spider’s threads. The fairies when the spiders were finished with the threads ran off with their kites to the open spaces on the heath at Dartford. Soon there were all kinds of kites flying in the sky then came the human kite flyers; they were surprised to see all of the small kites flying in the sky. The spider threads were so fine that the people did not see that the kites were attached to the fairies strings and being controlled from the earth. I noticed that some of the humans were wondering where the kites were coming from, they were being controlled but by who or by what? The people that normally flew the kites started to make their way to where the fairies were having so much fun flying their kites. I decided I had better do something about It as did not want people from all over England coming to Dartford heath to see the kites flying with no one In control of them. Taking from my coat pocket a handful of magic dust I threw It up Into the air and watched It growing Into a large cloud, as soon as the cloud reached the human kite flyers they stopped walking and started wondered why they were not flying their kites. My magic dust made them forget all of the small fairy kites high up in the sky. Soon the human kite flyers were flying their kites and the fairies that easily loose Interest quickly left their kites to the winds, most flew off and I have never heard of any one finding one of them. If you should find one of the fairy kites you will know It Is a fairy kite by the cloth that the fairies used they had no paper to make the kites with so they used the cloth that they spun from the spider threads.

The riot.

The fairies have found an old torn dictionary that some one threw away in the woods in fairyland. For days they have been asking me what different words mean that were written in this clever book. One of the words they asked me about was a riot. What did the words, a riot, mean? Fairies are very keen to learn anything new and it seems the words; a riot has stuck in their memories. I heard one say, “This Is a riot of flowers.” I could not tell her that the words, a riot, could be really be said In terms of flowers. I forgot all about the dictionary and all of the new words the fairies had found for I knew that the fairies would soon loose Interest when something new came their way. A few weeks later on my walk through the woods I heard many voices that were very loud. The words sounded like, “We are in a riot.” “We are in a riot.” I ran towards the noise and did not look where I was going. I tripped over one of the many tree roots and hit my head on a stone that was on the ground of the woods. I did not hear any more about riots In fact I did not hear anything, the rest of the story my leprechaun friend  will tell you. It was like this all of the folk In fairyland had gotten together and decided that they wanted four or five days a week off from work; to do as they wished. To play or for the pixies to make mischief, the elves just wanted to be free of doing any work whatsoever. The house bogies went along with the others to enjoy the noise and excitement. Everyone knows house bogies are very hard workers. The only ones that did not join in this noisy crowd were the leprechauns that know from childhood on that all leprechauns must first learn a trade. Then work hard as long as they are able so that each will fill his crock with gold and could retire and build himself a house in fairyland. The noisy crowd kept on walking and shouting until they saw Mr. Shaw on the floor of the forest. Mr. Shaw had blood running from a cut on his forehead. The noisy crowd stopped walking they even stopped their silly noise, thus giving  the chance to run to me and look to see what the matter was with me. I had this large cut on my forehead and my left leg looked as If it was broken.  called her majesty queen Feeanna. Queen Feeanna appeared in a blue light and a puff of smoke. On seeing me lying on the ground her majesty raised her magic wand then she saw all of the folk of fairyland who were now very quiet. “What are you all doing here? She called. No one answered. I felt a warm glow going right through my body, my head hurt for a couple of seconds then I felt all right again. My leg now hurt, I had indeed through my fall broken one of my leg bones. The warmth went down through my leg and I felt no more pain.  helped me to my feet and I thanked her majesty and I turned to the crowd. “What do you all mean? We are in riot.” silly people there will be no more learning the human words that you do not understand. If you all had not Interrupted my daily walk through the woods with your noisy shouting I would not have run to see what was wrong with the peoples of fairyland. I would not have hurt my head and my leg would not have broken. Shame on you all for being so dissatisfied with what you have, a comfortable living in peace here in the woods. The crowd looking very silly quickly went away and her majesty thanked me again for looking after the rather silly peoples of fairyland.  and I went back home where I made a pot of hot sweet tea and opened a packet of ginger snaps we talked a long time about the little folk of fairyland until  said goodbye and just vanished leaving me to go up to my bed.

Fancy dress ball.

Excitement is running high in fairyland, it has been announced that a fancy dress ball is to be held in four weeks time. Plans are being made, discussions as what to wear should the fairies dress as characters from the human world or should they wear natural clothes from nature. Many of the fairies asked me If they could look through my wardrobe to see If there was anything suitable to be used for the ball, others looked In the old boxes and ships trunks that are stored up In my attic. I take all of these activities of the fairies in good part because normally fairies have the annual fairy ball, which is attended by her majesty, queen of all the fairies every year. Many balls and dances are held during the year but none are as Important as the fairies annual ball.

Then it was announced that the ball was to be held in honour of Mother Nature and all fairies were to dress in clothes suitable for such an occasion. Most of the old clothing from the boxes and trunks in my attic were returned and I saw less and less of the fairies in my house. I did notice though that many of my plants in the garden were being stripped of leaves and many of my flowers were showing signs of having been picked In fact the garden is looking awful. I decided that when the fancy dress ball was over I would have a word with the fairies. One of the fairies came to me with a book that had been carelessly thrown away in the woods. The book was about peter pan, a picture book showing the adventures of peter pan and Wendy. Peter’s clothes had caught the eye of this fairy and she wanted to copy the clothes but did not have any material as shown in the pictures of peter pan. Telling the fairy that peter pan’s clothes would not be suitable for a ball In honour of mother nature, I suggested that I get her some packets of cotton wool from the chemists and she should make a dress that looked like a cloud. The fairy thought that this would be a good Idea and off I went to the chemists in the high street and bought an armful of cotton wool packets. I will not help you to make your dress that you must do yourself, as there is a prize to be won for the best dress depicting Mother Nature at the ball. On my walks through the woods I saw very few fairies all were busy getting ready for the fancy dress ball in honour of Mother Nature and all wanted to win the prize. The prize it had been announced was a trip to Jamaica for one whole month. The winner would be asked to sing and dance at the ball that took place every year In Jamaica In honour of the fairy queen. The evening of the ball arrived and fairies were coming into the woods from all over the United Kingdom. Blue flashes announced the arrival of the next group of fairies, Scottish fairies came, some carried bagpipes, then the welsh fairies most of these had a harp with them. The Irish fairies were all dressed the same in dresses made of shamrocks or four leaved clovers. The rest of the fairies were dressed in all kinds of dresses made of leaves sewn together and many had hats made from feathers and leaves. Some were wearing dresses of fruits and some had clothes made from the shells of nuts. The big moment arrived. A huge bright blue light lighted up the night sky and there stood Mother Nature and her majesty queen Feeanna, both looking very beautiful. A group of leprechauns were to be the judges of the costumes. Music played by a well-known orchestra of toads sounded and the fairies paraded In front of the leprechauns the dresses were all the same really, fruits, nuts and leaves. Then came the fairy that I had bought the cotton wool for. This dress was a real treat; the fairy was dressed in a white fluffy cotton wool dress that looked exactly like a cloud. The fairies cheered and the leprechauns promptly decided that this dress was the best they had seen at the ball. The fairy was given the prize of going to Jamaica. She then surprised even me. She spoke out loud enough for all to hear. “I cannot accept this prize for I only made the dress but Mr. Shaw got all of the materials for me so It Is Mr. Shaw that should go to Jamaica. Mother nature and her majesty stood up and both smiled saying that the fairy had fairly won as she herself had made the dress. Mr. Shaw shall accompany her to see that all is well in that far off land Jamaica. The dancing started; the music I had expected to be very noisy but strangely enough the bagpipes the harps and the other strange Instruments that the orchestra of toads were playing all were In harmony and a wonderful evening was had by all. The next day the fairy and I were given a wonderful send off by all of the fairies and Mother Nature and the fairy queen Feeanna. Whoosh the strange feeling one gets and when travelling by magic and we were In Jamaica. We had a wonderful time and were entertained, wined and dined by the Jamaican fairies.

  The wall.

It is fairly dark in the woods; tall trees with magnificent foliage are blocking out most of the sun’s rays. Coming out of the woods I blinked a couple of times to get used to the bright sunshine. Most unexpectedly In front of me a clearing then a high brick wall. If you are anything like me you find walls fascinating. What is hidden behind the wall? Is there a house or an institution of some kind? Is the wall to stop people going in or what’s worse from people coming out. On my back was my old rucksack that I always carry with me on my trips to the woods, one never knows what one will find; delicious mushrooms or wild strawberries with that oh, so delicate taste, or blackberries to make bramble jelly. Looking at the wall I decided that it was too high for me to climb over, I will have to look for an entrance, a door perhaps or even a gateway. I just have to know what is behind this high wall.

Leaving my rucksack on the floor beside the wall I started to walk around the wall looking for an entrance, placing one foot before the other I walked and walked, there was no door or gateway to be seen. I walked at least five miles and arrived back to where I had left my rucksack. Strange I thought to myself a huge wall and no way of getting In or out of It. Leaning against the wall having a rest I found myself moving through the, what looked like a thick high wall. I am so surprised at my solid body being able to move through the wall that my next feelings took my breath away. I was in a most beautiful garden. This I thought must be the Garden of Eden that one reads about in the bible.

I found myself walking on a pathway that is covered in rich green moss. An alarm bell started ringing in my ears. I have been here before; this is a path that I have walked a hundred times or more. Where am I? What am I doing here? Why is my mind playing tricks on me? So many questions but no answers, all Is very familiar I know this garden I remember the lovely coloured flowers the butterflies and the daintily coloured birds that fly In an out of the bushes. It is as If they are playing games of hide and seek. The music came softly to my ears It Is getting louder as I walk the mossy path, not too loud just a gentle rhythm. Walking now much slower I felt all of my earthly troubles and woes falling off of me as If I am shedding my clothing. I never want to leave this garden again I will stay here for all eternity. I am so happy to be here.

Then a barrier stopped my further progress I pushed with all of my strength against the barrier, It Is of no use I am not going to get past the barrier that is blocking my way. I then heard the voice. “What are you doing on the birth path? It Is much too soon, you will be sent back and will have to wait until It Is time for you to re-enter the path that leads to new birth. I am the guardian of the way to new birth. Every human being will come down this or another such path until the purpose is filled. The voice sounds as If it feeling a deep sympathy with me as it said, “you will come down this path in a few more years.” “Now go back to behind the wall and forget what you have seen and heard It Is better for you not to remember too much; or you will waste the years that are left to you with an unbearable longing.” I then felt a force; nothing like I have ever felt before and I found myself near to my rucksack. In my rucksack I carry with me a pen and paper to make notes of all that I do or see whenever I go to one of my journeys in the woods. That is the reason why I have written this down. I feel It Is everyman’s right to know of the birth path when your time comes you too will remember walking along the mossy path asking yourself the same questions that I asked. I do not want you to be unprepared as I was. I leave It up to you to make of this story what you will I hope It brings someone a little comfort knowing that there Is a birth path to look forward to.

Happiness.

What is happiness? Hazel fee put this question to me; Hazelfee is one of the smallest of the fairies, a bright child of four and is soon to leave the fairy school. Hazelfee, ever since I have known her is always asking questions, she is like a sponge and has a brain that is always looking for answers. How should I tell a young fairy what happiness is? “I will give you my answer in a few days,” I replied. This satisfied Hazelfee and I left her on the floor of the woods as she studied a very large toadstool. I thought and thought about what is happiness, it would have been easy to say something, perhaps clever but it would not have been the truth? I cannot tell a lie to a fairy. I puzzled my brain as to what is happiness; is it a state of mind? Is it a feeling? Yes I suppose It Is a feeling but how does one describe a feeling? I decided to think about it for a few days and then give Hazelfee my answer. The more I thought about happiness the more I became Involved with the question. I myself am happy when I know that I am comfortable, sitting at home In my warm kitchen with a good book to read, this Is not the whole truth other things make me happy like seeing the eyes of a young child Innocently looking up Into my eyes as I greet Its mother and smile at the baby. I remember once as a young boy winning a prize at school for being the best in the whole school at reading. This made me feels very happy; but is this all? There are so many small things in life that make one happy. How can I explain to a young fairy what happiness is? It is so many things to so many people. I decided to ask the fairy queen, queen Feeanna for her explanation of what happiness means to a small child or to a small fairy. Calling one of a pair of robins to me I asked it to take a message to her majesty queen Feeanna for me. The robin flew off and in a few minutes her majesty appeared in the usual bright flash of blue light and the small puff of smoke. Her majesty is dressed in a pure silk dress covered in small forest flowers that seemed to be growing from the dress. I bowed and greeted her majesty and told her of my small problem, how to tell fairy Hazelfee what happiness is. Her majesty smiled at me and said,” have you never been asked this question before in your long life Mr. Shaw? I had to admit that no one had ever asked me what happiness was. I just did not know how to answer such a question and I must admit I feel rather foolish at not being able to answer satisfactory such a simply put question. Her majesty looked long at me, I could see that she was thinking hard a small muscle at the side of her lip always twitches when she Is deep In thought. Smiling she looked at me and said,” give me a couple of days and I will give you an answer.” Another bright blue flash of light a small puff of smoke and her royal majesty vanished as she had come. For days there was a coming and a going of the wise old fairies, even Mother Nature appeared and then left. I was least expecting her majesty when the flash of blue light and the whiff of smoke and she appeared. Her majesty looked very worried, she spoke. “Mr. Shaw I am afraid that I can find no one that can answer your question. What is happiness? It is many things to many people. Sadly I cannot give you a satisfactory answer. Perhaps someone from the human world can answer the question.” with these words her majesty smiled a sad smile and vanished the same way as she had come. I leave the question open. Can you answer it? Hazelfee Is still waiting for my answer. Bern

African trip.

The morning was warm, my bedroom window had been open all night for fresh air, and I sleep better when the windows are wide open. Looking at my bedside clock I saw that it was a quarter to seven in the morning. I have for years gotten up at seven o’clock It has become a habit with me. What made this morning so particular was the fact that a robin flew through my open window and sat on my bedside table; In Its beak it had a small piece of paper. Dropping the piece of paper it hopped onto the windowsill and flew off into the early morning. Lazily I picked up the piece of paper and read the message that was written onto it. The message was from her majesty the fairy queen; queen Feeanna wanted to see me and would be waiting for me in the woods that I know as fairyland. I sprang out of my bed had a wash, cleaned my teeth followed by a quick shave, went downstairs made and ate a quick breakfast. Putting on my old cloth cap I went into my back garden and out of my back gate into fairyland. I got as far as the old oak tree where her majesty dressed in a pink gown covered in small twinkling stars was waiting for me. We greeted each other and her majesty asked me how I would like a trip to Africa. I must admit it was early summer and a trip to the African heat did not really appeal to me, but how could I turn such a charming person down. I accepted the offer. As soon as I had accepted a rush of air and  was standing by my side. “He needs a hat and a shillelagh.” No sooner were the words spoken I felt on my head a hat and in my right hand a shillelagh. “Now he is ready your majesty, you may If you will send us on our way.” I felt ’s hand on my arm and the not too pleasant feeling of travelling by magic had me In Its grip once again. We landed In the middle of a mud hut, on the walls were spears and on the floor skins of wild animals, one of which I recognised as that of a lion. Lying on a wooden bed more like a camp bed than an ordinary bed lay a man. The man Is In pain and groaning something terrible, also in the room a young man that stood over an open fire and was cooking some mixture that looked like stew it smelt terrible. I went to the man lying on the bed and felt his pulse. The pulse rate was fast, feeling the man’s forehead I noticed he had fever. Taking from my pocket a handful of magic dust I sprinkled it over the man. The young man that was cooking suddenly dropped the large wooden spoon that he was stirring the stew with and ran out of the mud hut. “Taste the stew,” I said to .  tasted the stew and said, “this Is terrible, I can taste something familiar but cannot say what It Is” go and get that young man I told  It looks as If he Is behind this poor man’s Illness. The man on the bed opened his eyes and tried to get up out of the bed, he was too weak and I gently pushed him back down on the bed. Looking around the hut I found a cup and went outside where a tap with water was to be had. I filled the cup after washing it thoroughly and took the man some fresh water. The man drank the water and wanted to speak. I told him that I would listen to his story later he was to lay quiet and rest. A loud commotion outside of the hut caused me to go and see what was happening. There was  walking behind the young man. ’s shillelagh was menacing the young man. “He tried to run and then wanted to fight me; a leprechaun with my magic shillelagh, what a silly young man.”  drove the young man into the hut and I told him to eat some of the stew that he had been cooking and feeding the sick man on the camp bed. The young man cowered back and refused to eat any of the stew. The man on the bed then told me this story. He was a witchdoctor that cured people of their Ills by giving them medicine that he himself made from herbs and berries and fruits from the forest. The young man’s parents had both died from a terrible Illness that sometimes runs through the African villages. The witchdoctor had treated both of them but could not save them. The young man gave secretly the witchdoctor the blame that his parents had died. The witchdoctor had given the young man work as an apprentice to learn the trade of medicine man. While showing the young man some mushrooms that were very dangerous and telling him that these were not to be eaten or used in medicines. The young man had picked some of the mushrooms and had been making stew for the witchdoctor to eat. This is how the witchdoctor became Ill. The witchdoctor was a friend of queen Feeanna and had secretly asked her to help him. Queen Feeanna had sent  and myself to help him. The young man as soon as the village knew what he had done was chased away by the villagers and has not been seen since. My shillelagh I gave to the witchdoctor telling him that it would defend him at all times If and when he was in danger.  took my arm and saying goodbye to the witchdoctor. The magic took us back home and we landed safely in my kitchen in time for a pot of tea and a plateful of ginger biscuits.

Bird’s quarrel.

The wise owl that lives in a large hole that she found in the old oak tree told this little tale to me. The hole had originally been made by a coloured woodpecker, then opened out and widened by family of squirrels. The squirrels moved away and the hole was empty for two years or more. The owl found the hole and decided to make it her home. The hole Is Ideal when it rains it keeps the owl and the small owlets dry. One day while nesting in the old oak the owl listened to some birds that were quarrelling away making quite a noise. This noise disturbed the owl and she was going to tell the birds to clear off and make their row somewhere else. Something made her listen to the birds arguing. Looking out of her nest she saw a blue tit, a robin and a wren. These three birds were making so much noise that they did not see or even hear the owl as she hopped closer to the bough of the tree where they were sitting arguing. “The nightingale has the best voice in the whole of the world.” said the robin. “Nonsense said the wren have you heard the lark early in the morning singing Its greeting to the day. That is the best singer among the birds.” The blue tit laughed out loud, “there is only one bird that can really sing and that Is the kingfisher why I hear it every day down by the stream and it sings so sweetly when it has caught and swallowed a fish there is no other bird with such a voice.” The owl listened to what the birds were saying to each other and then the owl gave out a loud laugh. “The bird with the finest singing voice is the yappadooliebird,” the yappadooliebird sings and its voice is out of this world. The notes are so fine, one can understand each word; its voice is so clear, the top note is like the soft high tone from the church bell down in the village of the humans. Oh wise old owl where can we find this yappadooliebird? The wren the robin and the blue tit asked all together. The owl looked very wise and said, “you must find that out for yourselves I am not going to tell you all of my secrets. The owl left the three birds and went back to her nest. The three birds soon flew off to find the yappadooliebird. The three birds made quite a nuisance of themselves they went around asking all that would listen, where can we find the yappadooliebird. The animals each told them to go and look for the stupid bird themselves not to disturb other peaceful animals of the forest. As a last resort the three birds asked the fairies to tell them where the yappadooliebird lived, of course no one could tell them no one had ever heard of a bird with such a name. Yappadooliebird Indeed what are the birds going to get up to next. Three long months went past and the three birds were once again arguing on the same bough of the old oak tree. The wren said, “I do not think that there is such a bird as the yappadooliebird.” The blue tit was inclined to agree but the wren loudly said, “ If the wise old owl says that the best singer in the bird world is the yappadooliebird then It Is the yappadooliebird. The owl is known as the wisest bird among all of the birds. The owl looked out of her hole high In the oak tree smiled and said out loud, “once there were three birds arguing and making such a noise that my young owlets could not concentrate on eating their food. I sent the birds on a wild goose chase looking for a bird called the yappadooliebird that does not or never has existed In this lovely old world of ours. By sending you three silly birds to look for this bird I have had three whole months to bring up my young owlets. Soon the will fly away and find their own nesting places. I hope that they too are blessed with wisdom and can get rid of three noisy birds so easily as I have.

The nuisance.

One pixie had a very bad name in fairyland. Even the pixies themselves only spoke of her in whispers. All hated the pixie because of her silly tricks that she was likely to play on any one In fairyland, be It fairies, leprechauns, trolls, bogies, or even pixies. One day she decided to make a name for herself. Everyone in fairyland would speak of her as being the only pixie with enough courage to make a fool of the fairy queen. This she had to plan and to keep very secret, as the queen always knew what was happening in fairyland why even the birds reported any and every thing that was not normal. The pixie thought out one plot after another only to abandon them as being too daring or too dangerous. This had to be something big, something out of the ordinary to get her name all over fairyland. Her big chance came when it was announced that Jack Frost had been invited to fairyland to give the fairies a lecture on wintertime and the Ice and snow that Jack Frost always carried around with him. Fairies as you all know go in wintertime with the butterflies to the huge caves under the Himalayan mountains. Here all are safe and have It warm in the winter months. Fairies hate getting their wings wet that is why the queen uses magic to spirit them all away from the cold and wetness of winter. Jack frost arrived he was bathed in bright hot sunshine placed on him by Mother Nature so that during the summer months he could do no harm. Waiting In the clearing by the old oak tree the fairies stood around and talked even some of the pixies talked with the fairies. Jack frost arrived he was a big man that carried two sacks these sacks were sealed with sealing wax so that nothing could escape from them. Her majesty queen Feeanna appeared Introduced Jack Frost who opened his mouth to speak. A cloud of cold air forming a ring similar to the smoke rings that smokers sometimes blow. One fairy that was near to the front where Jack Frost stood felt the man’s Icy breath. The pixie that wanted to make a name for her saw the two sealed sacks that Jack Frost had brought with him. Perhaps there is something in one of those sacks that I can use to make a name for myself. No sooner had she thought this, she crept to the front of the clearing and when all were looking at Jack Frost and all being fascinated by the rings of moisture coming from his mouth; she broke the seal of one of the sacks. Suddenly the heavens seemed to open and it snowed. Snow like no one had seen before. White flakes as big or even bigger than chicken’s eggs falling from the sky. Soon all of fairyland was covered in pure white snow. Jack frost saw what had happened and he went to seal the sack again to stop it snowing. Her majesty stopped him with the words, “let It snow for one whole hour, I want to teach the little peoples a lesson.” Jack frost carried on talking. It got colder and colder the snow was now very thick on the ground and the trees did not give any more shelter as the wet snow fell from the leaves and dropped onto the fairies. Suddenly the pixie that wanted to make a name for her, stood four feet off the ground it was as If she just hung in the air. “Stupid pixie, why did you open the sack of Mr. Jack frost?” The pixie could give no good reason for her behaviour. The Queen thanked Jack Frost who took his two sacks and went on his way. The pixie hung in the air for one whole day for all to see. The fairy queen had granted her wish to become known in all of fairyland, all now called her stupid pixie. The lecture that Mr. Jack frost should have given was no longer necessary as the fairies had now seen with their own eyes how it snowed and how cold it gets in wintertime. One should never try to make a name for oneself at the cost of someone else.

Name for sale.

The postman pushed a few letters through my letterbox in the front door. Coming down stairs I saw the envelopes in the wire basket that I fitted on the door to stop the letters falling on to the floor. I took the letters with me into the kitchen and prepared my breakfast. Finishing eating my food I looked at the first letter. A bill to be paid, the next was from the local library. I must take the book back that I borrowed or I would be charged a small fine. The third letter had no return address, printed in large capital letters the words ‘name for sale.’ nothing else just the three words. This I thought was strange very strange who had a name for sale? And why send the letter to me. Putting the letters to one side I decided to go to the local library and bring the book back. I do not like paying fines because of my silliness or rather forgetfulness. On entering the library the lady that runs the library greeted me and apologised for having to send the letter about the fine. I smiled and told her that I was pleased that she had reminded me. The book I had borrowed exchanged hands and I looked for another book on country flowers that grow In England’s hedgerows. While looking for my book I saw a title that caught my eye. Name for sale. This was even for me too much of a coincidence. Taking the book from the shelf I opened it to have a glance through the book. In the book was a sheet of paper with the letters ness written in the same handwriting as the letter that had been delivered to me in the morning. Taking the book in one hand, I found the book on flowers In English hedgerows and went to the librarian to have the books placed on my library card. The librarian took one look at the title name for sale and asked me If It was a detective story. I had to admit that I did not know the title had appealed to me and I decided to read the book. Wishing the librarian a good morning I went home to my house. Making myself comfortable in my old wheelbarrow on the two cushions I opened the book of name for sale. The sheet of paper and the letter I had beside me and glanced at the writing now and again. The handwriting was the same, it had been written by the person that had sent me the letter. Starting to read the book of name for sale the writing in the book changed from a normal print to wonderful copperplate handwriting. These are the words that I read; you are destined to be a writer of fairy history. You will write stories about all that happens in fairyland. These stories will give the average human being a chance to read for themselves about the little people that many claim not to see. This book you are reading Is a reminder to change your name so that you are not confused with the man with the same name that has also written fairy tales for humans to read. Think about it and change your name before It Is too late. Then the copperplate changed to a scribble; the writing ended with just one word, Bern. After having read this book I am still wondering where the letter came from and who wrote the initials ness on the sheet of paper in the book. I decided to take the book back to the library, on arriving I was greeted by the librarian who asked me whether I had forgotten something or other, to see me twice In one day was most unusual. I put my hand into my plastic bag to take out the book title name for sale. There was no book in the bag. I then said, “I will pay you for the book I took out this morning, what do I owe you?” taking my card from her box of cards she looked at It then she looked at me. “Do you mean the book on flowers In English hedgerows?” “No I stuttered the book called, name for sale.” looking at a long list the librarian said, “We have no book registered with that name.” I felt a fool as I walked out of the library, had I imagined the whole thing? I do not think so for as I arrived back home the two cushions were still in my old wheelbarrow the garden was as I left it before going to the library. Then I got to thinking. Was this a message from the fairies, there is a famous writer of fairy tales with the same name as myself the only difference is his name is ‘George Bernard Shaw’. My name is just Bernard Shaw. I have changed my name to just Bern so if you see my stories in a book you will know that I wrote them on behalf of her majesty queen Feeanna, queen of all the fairies.

  Strange voices.

Have you ever listened to strange voices, voices that seem to come from nowhere, voices that are with you day and night? I must admit that when I first heard the voices I did not take any notice of them, I thought that they would go away, I could tell no one about these voices; people are very keen to say that one is not quite right in the head. I listened to loud music for days on end; the music drowned out the voices during the day but at night I needed my sleep I could not play loud music, it was at night that the voices became really menacing. Most of you know that my house is under the protection of the fairy queen also my garden. The voices could not hurt me but are in fact a nuisance. I decided to get help from her majesty, she would surely be able to help and I could get back to my normal work and way of living. Her majesty came to the old oak tree where I sometimes sit and admire nature, the flowers the trees and shrubs and all of the wild animals that live here on Dartford heath or fairyland as I call It. “What Is troubling you my friend? She asked. I told her majesty of the voices in my ears. “May I place my hands over your ears,” her majesty then asked. I nodded my approval and her majesty placed her soft warm hands over my ears. Her majesty appeared to be listening then her face broke into a lovely smile. “Mr. Shaw my advice to you is listen to the voices, listen hard you will never want for a story. The voices that you hear are from mother nature, they come to you on each breeze or small wind that blows.” Her majesty smiled once again and vanished in the now familiar bright blue light and the puff of smoke. Sitting once again with my back to the old oak tree, I tried listening to the voices. My surprise was indeed something to see my face broke into a huge smile, I heard about a man that had voices in his head, of the man that went to see the queen of all the fairies to calm his fears about the strange voices in his head. I realised that I was hearing that which had just taken place. I would It seems never want for a story as long as I listen to what mother nature Is telling me through the wind and breezes that came my way. This is the next story that appeared in my head or should I say in my ears. The fox with the vixen have eight cubs down by the six elders that grow near to the river. Go and see for yourself you will be able to write another little story about the cubs that the two were parents of. The next day I went to the six elder trees and looked carefully for the burrow of the fox and vixen. Sitting quietly, I saw first the vixen come out from the burrow and then one after the other the cubs. Then I noticed one of the cubs was snow white in colour, it did not mix with the other cubs that tolled about in the grass In front of the burrow’s opening. I went back day after day to watch the progress of the cubs. Every day something new, one day the fox brought back to the burrow a hen In Its mouth. The cubs hungrily ate their fill only the white cub did not join in. The vixen left the burrow for a while and then she too came back with a large piece of meat in her jaws. This she gave to the white cub and kept the other cubs from eating the meat. The next day I went into town and many people told me about a fox that had gone into the local butchers and stolen a large piece of best stewing steak. I watched this family of foxes for nearly a year; I still hear the voices and will write more lately about what they tell me. The white fox cub was now nearly fully grown as the first snows came. While the other foxes had difficulty to find enough to eat the white cub that blended in well with the snow always managed to bring food back to the burrow. In fact it was the white cub that kept the family of foxes with food through the winter. The voices are still with me and I listen to them if I cannot think of anything to tell you all about.

  Dream weavers.

Some years ago I was asked by a teacher to come to the school and tell the children one of my little stories. Do you know upon my arriving at the school I did not have story to tell. I was very embarrassed and on going into the classroom where all of the girls and boys were sitting waiting to hear my little story. I noticed that a man was busy cleaning the school windows. I soon forgot the window cleaner and started on my story. Once upon a time a man went around the country selling what he called dream weavers. People came from far and near to buy one of his little boxes that held a dream weaver. The man made little boxes and on his journeys from one village to the other he spent much time in the woods catching spiders. When all of his little boxes were full he sold the boxes to the people telling them they had bought a dream weaver. For the dream weaver to work for them the people that bought the boxes each with its spider was to take the spider and let it free in the garden on a bush or a tree. If the spider spun a web the person that had bought the box would have the most wonderful of dreams. Most people wanted to have wonderful dreams and the man sold many, many such boxes each with a spider. Soon people all over the country were waiting for the seller of dreams to visit their town or village. The man became famous as most of the people that had bought the box and spider told all that would hear that they were having the most wonderful of dreams and that they were very happy to have met the seller of dreams. The man cleaning the windows stopped his work and listened to every word that I said. Soon afterwards I heard of a man that was selling dream weavers all over Great Britain. One day I read in the local paper that a man had been arrested for selling spiders in little boxes that he himself had made. The man duly came to court and the magistrate listened to the charges being read out. The man was charged with cruelty to animals. The second charge was for selling articles of livestock without a licence. The magistrate was not very comfortable at having to judge a man that sold dreams to silly people that believed anything as long as it was well wrapped in flowery language. He dismissed the charge of selling livestock but find the man one hundred pounds for selling articles without having a traders licence. I have never told stories to a school class since then, as I would not want another window cleaner or school caretaker to be taken to court for listening to a story that I told to children. Bern.

  The journey.

Her majesty queen Feeanna has asked me to take a journey back into my past life. Right back to when I was a child. This is a journey that I do not want to go on. Too many things happened to me as a child that I myself do not like to think about them or even talk of them. Her majesties proposal to send me back to so long ago was not to my liking but who can refuse a queen? I certainly cannot. The day arrived her majesty came to my house on Dartford heath and with a touch of her magic wand I was a child again. A child locked in a small gas cupboard under the stairs that led up to the dormitories. I felt myself crying again, tears rolled down my cheek, I felt thirsty and as the time went on hunger appeared, a gnawing something that told me my stomach was not at all well. I heard the other children getting the cups and saucers and plates ready for tea. Perhaps the foster mother will let me out to have my tea, she had placed me none too gently in the gas cupboard just before dinnertime and I had, had no lunch. I was now hungry and thirsty. I had stopped crying, no more kicking with my shoes on the rising steps above me, I could just reach them with my extended legs. I was not let out of the gas cupboard. I had no tea. I then heard the boys getting ready for bed. Prayers were said as they always were in the dining room. The tramping of the boys bare feet as they went upstairs to bed gave me a little hope that I would be let out; told to wash and then upstairs to my bed. Later on I heard the foster mother going up to her room, I was now frightened It was dark under the stairs in the gas cupboard. Was I to be locked up all through the night? A plate appeared In front of me, a blue light now lighted the small gas cupboard. The light was soft I no longer felt frightened, and then a small plate of cakes appeared. I eat one of the cakes, nervously looking around me; I did not want to be punished again for taking one of the cakes. A soft voice told me to eat as many of the cakes as I wanted. I ate two more and strangely enough I was full and felt much better. I will admit that I rubbed my eyes at what happened next a small little person with wings on her back showed herself to me. Do not be frightened Bern I am a fairy, I have come to keep you company, you are not in this stinking cupboard, come. Taking my hand the fairy took me Into the countryside, I saw and spoke to other fairies, I watched the flowers growing, animals some of whom I did not know the names of, others were familiar from some of the children’s books I had looked at. I felt the warm soft wool of the sheep and their lambs. I stroked the faces of cows that lowered their heads for me to see them better. One very old horse actually asked me if I wanted to ride on its back. Further on a big patch of woods with tall trees, bushes and flowers, everywhere flowers as far as I could see. This was a wonderful place and I did not want to leave. Fairies asked me into their homes the small cakes that I now know as fairy cakes were offered to me in every house. I was given parsnip wine to drink and made very welcome. Suddenly the gas cupboard door was opened and the foster mothers voice, “come out of there you little brat! Perhaps that will teach you to do as you are told. Go and have a wash, don’t forget to clean your teeth. You can consider yourself lucky that I will let you have breakfast.” I have never told anyone about the fairies, they were my secret. I was now journeying again by magic and saw her majesty queen Feeanna. “I know the journey brought back some unhappy memories, at the same time you were taken into the fairy world. You at heart became one of us that are why you write so many little tales of fairy life and happenings. Was the journey worth it? “Yes your majesty it was worth it, thank you for reminding me of the kindness of the fairies so long ago.”

  The bearded elf.

Many years ago it was on a Saturday; the rain had stopped after pouring down for two whole days and a night. Coming towards me pushing an old bicycle was a small man with a very long beard. Who are you staring at were the first words that the little man spoke? I smiled and said “I was not staring at anyone, why are you so angry? “Everyone stares at me just because I have this long beard.” “What beard? “Was my Innocent reply? “? This beard,” the small man said, stroking his long white beard. “It has taken me years to grow this near perfect beard,” he now sounded as If he was boasting and I decided to go on my way and ignore him. I turned round and retraced my steps back to my house; the little man followed me still pushing his bicycle. Opening my garden gate In front of the house I went into my garden carefully closing the gate after me. “Aren’t you going to ask me in?” He called rather close to tears. I have never refused any one my hospitality and opened the garden gate to let him In. “mind the flowers with your bicycle,” I said and walked around to the back of the house I rarely use the front door nowadays. The little man followed me still pushing his very old bicycle. I saw that both tyres had been punctured at one time or another; I began to feel sorry for the little man. I opened the back door that opens into my kitchen and asked the man to place his bicycle against the wall and come on it to the kitchen. I soon made a pot of tea and some sandwiches. I have cheese and corned beef always in the house for such purposes. Pouring the little man a cup of tea and offering him the sugar bowl with its spoon, I made three thick sandwiches and placed them In front of him. The little man did not say thank you or any other word; just tucked into the cheese sandwiches washing them down with hot sweet tea. I went out into my small gardening shed and taking a bowl I filled it with water and got my puncture kit from the shelf and while the little man was eating and drinking I repaired his punctured wheels. One of the outer covers was so bad that I threw it away and put a new tyre that I had at home for emergencies on his front wheel. Putting my puncture kit back on the garden shed shelf I went back into the kitchen to wash my hands. The little man had finished the sandwiches and I poured him another cup of tea. He drank the tea and then spoke these words. “The beard Is as false as I am, I am not a little old man proud of his beard I am an elf. Taking the beard in his hand he pulled it away from his face. Somehow his face changed and I saw a smiling cheerful face. “I am an elf, you have past the test take this beard in payment for your kindness.” “I stuttered I have mended the wheels on your bicycle you can now ride It Instead of pushing It.” Take care of the beard he said and he went out of my back door and pushed his bicycle to the front gate. The last I saw of him he was riding very fast down the street that leads into town. I slowly went back into my kitchen. There was no beard to be seen instead a small box was standing on the table. Opening the box I found a note written in a very good handwriting. One good deed deserves another, use the contents of this box wisely and you will never be poor, your new friend the elf. Inside the box was full of small gold coins.

  Merlin’s stone.

Hundreds of years ago at the court of king Arthur the most famous wizard of all time Merlin was locked in one of his rooms where he performed magic. Marlin did not seem to be having any success with his trying to turn a pebble that he had picked up on the seashore into a nugget of gold. Merlin tried one spell after another all to no avail try what he would the pebble remained a pebble. Merlin very dissatisfied with his efforts to turn the pebble into a gold nugget; picked the pebble up and threw It In disgust out of the window. The pebble hit the young boy that was being trained in the art of gardening. King Arthur as everyone knows loved flowers; the Knights of the Round Table all enjoyed the fruit and vegetables that were grown in the gardens. The young boy picked up the pebble that had hit him on the chest and put it into his pocket. The years went by the young boy grew into a man and he too became famous for all of the new fruits and flower not to forget the vegetable that he grew so successfully. The gardener became very rich and he employed many men and boys to work in the royal gardens. The pebble the now fully-grown man had placed on a shelf where he kept all his gold and other riches. The man died after reaching the good old age of seventy years. After the man’s death his relatives wondered why the rich man had kept the pebble In with his riches. The pebble soon passed into the hands of another person, this person also became very rich and each person after this time that was given the pebble became very rich. A legend soon grew with the pebble; every one that had owned the pebble became very rich. One of these people who were very, very rich became Ill and nothing the doctors could do helped the man. Going Into his room where he kept all of his wealth he saw the pebble. This is no lucky stone he called out and threw the stone out of the window. A leprechaun found the pebble and put it into his pocket. On going to the places where he found work; mending pots and pans his business flourished he too soon had his crock filled with gold. The leprechaun decided to find out about the stone that he had found. He knew that his luck had changed with his finding of the stone or pebble. On his way to retirement in fairyland, where he wanted to build a house and live his years that were left to him in peace he asked for an audience with her majesty queen Feeanna. Queen Feeanna that spoke to all newcomers to fairyland. Welcomed the leprechaun and asked him what was so Important that he could not wait until he was called by her majesty to be welcomed. The leprechaun blurted out that he had become very rich after finding this pebble or small stone. He wanted to know the history of the stone. Her majesty took from her robe the famous magic mirror. The mirror showed pictures of Merlin and his attempts to turn the pebble into a gold nugget. Then of the gardeners boy that grew into a very rich man after picking up the pebble that Merlin had thrown out of the window. The pictures came and went one rich man after another. Most of these men were greedy and after earning so much money did nothing good with the money although so many poor people lived In England at that time. Looking straight at the leprechaun her majesty asked him one question. “Have you shared your riches with the poor?” The leprechaun stuttered, “no your majesty I was too busy earning money to think about the poor.” “My advice to you is to give the stone or pebble to the very first person that you meet.” said her majesty and vanished. The leprechaun walked as quickly as he could; I was the first person that he saw. He gave me the pebble and told me to look after it and then when I was rich I should give it away to some one else that was needy. “No It Is no use asking me for the pebble or stone, I passed it on the day after it was given to me. You see I won on that day with the help of the stone the national lottery.” The pebble or stone is somewhere on the seashore at Whitstable In Kent, southern England. Be warned though the beach at Whitstable Is composed of millions of pebbles all looking similar to the pebble I threw away.

  Golden delicious.

Long, long ago an Irish leprechaun decided to retire and make his home in fairyland. The leprechaun had it all worked out in his head. First he would chop down some trees and build himself a house then he would only take little walk whenever he felt like it. He would do no more work but live off of the crock of gold that he had worked so hard for all of his life. He arrived in fairyland early one evening in late spring. The trees were in full bloom with new buds and fresh young leaves on all of the trees. In his rucksack the leprechaun had an axe to chop down trees and a saw to cut the trees into planks to build his new house. Choosing a spot in a small clearing in the woods he took out his axe and his whetstone to sharpen the axe. His house he had decided would be of oak no other wood was as hard as oak and his house would last for years. Sharpening his axe he went to the nearest oak tree; swinging his axe he hit the tree a mighty blow. Nothing happened the axe Instead of cutting into the oak bounced back off of the bark of the tree. Looking at the blade of his axe he saw that Instead of being sharp the axe was blunt as If he had not sharpened it at all. Re-sharpening his axe he hit the oak tree another mighty blow. Nothing happened the axe hit the bark without even making a mark on it. The leprechaun sat down and taking his whet or sharpening stone and sharpened once again his axe. Taking a hair from his head he ran the hair over the edge of the axe’s blade the hair fell into two parts. He tried a third time to chop into the oak; it was the same nothing happened not even a scratch on the bark. A fairy had been watching the leprechaun and then spoke these words. “Have you permission from mother nature to cut down that tree?” The leprechaun looked long at the fairy and said “no I do not have to ask whether I can chop down a tree or not, I have been chopping down trees all of my life. “This,” said the fairy, “Is fairyland only Mother Nature can give you permission to chop down trees. “How do I get to know Mother Nature?” Asked the leprechaun. “Oh that Is easy you only have to get twenty fairies to point their wands to the east and mother nature will get our signal that she Is wanted here In fairyland.” The fairy having said this flew away leaving the leprechaun to find his twenty fairies. The leprechaun looked and looked but could find no fairies; he was getting worried that he would not be able to build his house before winter set in. A westerly wind heard the laments of the leprechaun and told Mother Nature that a newcomer to fairyland needed her. Mother nature is a very kind lady and she appeared before the leprechaun and asked him why he was so worried. The leprechaun told Mother Nature about his retiring to fairyland and his wanting to chop down some trees to build him a house. Mother nature told him that for him to chop down trees he must make a promise. The promise was that for every tree that the leprechaun chopped down he must plant five new trees. The leprechaun agreed to that after all he only wanted perhaps two oaks and one apple tree to build his house. The apple tree wood he would use to roof the house the oaks were for the floors and walls. To get ten acorns from the other oaks would be no problem and as for an apple tree there were many apple trees growing in fairyland. Mother nature left the leprechaun after reminding him that he must keep his promise of planting new trees. Once again the leprechaun sharpened his axe and again he swung the axe at the oak tree. This time he saw to his satisfaction a large chip had been taken out of the tree. Soon he had chopped down his two oaks and went looking for an apple tree. It was hard work dragging the apple tree back to his clearing. The leprechaun worked very hard and soon a small wooden house slowly appeared in the clearing. The stones for his fireplace and his chimney he got from a small quarry just off from fairyland. Then his cottage was finished. He had not replanted a single tree as he had promised and soon mother nature visited him In the form of a heavy thunderstorm It rained and rained, the wind blew with such force that all of the wooden tiles that he had carefully pegged Into the roof to hold the wooden tiles blew away. The rain poured down direct into his cottage. Soon everything was swimming in water, his bed was soaked the carpets on the floor were wringing wet. The leprechaun could not spend the night here. Lamenting about his bad luck with the house he again met the same fairy as he had on his first day in fairyland. He complained to the fairy about his bad luck. The fairy laughed out loud saying, “who broke his promise to mother nature? The leprechaun ran off to where some big oak trees were standing on the ground there were many acorns. The leprechaun picked up fifteen of the acorns and planted them every twenty yards or so in the ground. Going to one of the apple trees he plucked and apple and carefully cutting the apple open he took the pips and planted them as he had the acorns. When he had finished planting his acorns and apple pips the sun came out and shone down brightly. Hurrying home to put his mattress and his carpets and other wet things out into the sunshine to dry. He chopped more wooden slates for his roof and pegging them down carefully at the end of the day his roof was now as good as new. His bed and clothing with carpets had dried out nicely and he slept for the first time in his own little cottage. To his surprise the flowing morning his house was covered in small branches full of oak leaves and from the roof an apple tree full of ripe fruit was waiting for him to collect the apples. Taking a basket he filled the basket with the lovely golden apples and took them to where he had first met Mother Nature. In a flash mother nature appeared as If she was waiting to be called. The leprechaun apologised for not fulfilling his promise. Mother nature forgave him and he offered Mother Nature the apples. Taking one of the golden apples, Mother Nature spoke just one word. “Delicious,” she said. The leprechaun said these apples from now on will be called golden delicious and that Is how the apple golden delicious got its name.

  Strange feelings.

There is a feeling of great expectation in the air something is going to happen. What it will be no one knows every person in fairyland has this feeling even the bogies. For some It Is a feeling of excitement, others feel as If something wonderful Is going to happen the fairies are feeling It the most; hardly anyone Is going about their work of painting the flowers. I must admit I too feel that something is not as it should be I am a little concerned that I will miss something, but what? Her majesty Is abroad visiting the fairies In France and Is not expected back for another week, I decided to keep an eye open for anything that might happen In fairyland while her majesty queen Feeanna Is away. To be on the safe side I gave each fairy some of my magic dust and asked them to fly over fairyland to throw the dust as protection against whatever It Is that is going to happen. The fairies were delighted at being asked to do something Instead of waiting around all of the time. Most of you know that the magic dust in my pocket is always refilled by magic as I take any of it to use. Today is no exception I took handful after handful and gave it to the fairies. My magic dust in my pocket did not get less no matter how much I placed in the fairies hands. Soon the whole of fairyland had been covered in magic dust, all that we can now do is to wait for whatever it is that is going to happen. For a while nothing happened and the fairies went back to their work of painting the trees, bushes and flowers. I sat myself down under the shelter of the old oak tree this is my favourite place to sit and think. The sun shone brightly, my eyelids soon became heavy and I dropped off into one of my little sleeps. A loud bang awoke me; startled I opened my eyes and saw that a bough of a tree standing near to the old oak tree had snapped. Its falling to the ground had made the loud noise. Closing my eyes again I tried to drop off again into the wonderful dream that I was enjoying. This was not to be; the fairies awoke me. All were talking at the tops of their voices and I could not understand a word for the noise they were making, just the word cloud. I spoke out loud, louder than I normally speak and told them all to be quiet. I asked the nearest fairy to me what has happened? Why are you all shouting? Her majesty has had an accident with a cloud as she was flying home here to fairyland. Take me to her majesty. Three-dozen magic wands pointed at me, and the feeling, still strange to me of flying by magic I saw her majesty sitting on a stump of a tree. Landing next to her majesty. I asked her gently if she needed any help. I am all right but see how that creature over there is doing. I looked but only saw a large black cloud. The cloud looked somehow dangerous, for safeties sake I took out a handful of magic dust and threw it over the cloud. The cloud changed it got smaller and smaller until it turned into a wizard. A wizard that I well knew Magoricum, Magoricum could not move even his eyelids the magic dust had him completely In Its power. Her majesty told me that Magoricum had tried to steal her magic wand In France; he knew that In France the fairies would not be expecting any danger. Taking a chance the wizard broke into her majesties bedroom and stole the magic wand. He made a noise leaving the room and that woke her majesty. Her majesty spoke some magic words in the old fairy language and Magoricum turned into a cloud. Her majesty followed him but Magoricum had her majesties magic wand and he used it to try and stop her majesty from following him. Across the English Channel many ships reported strange sights in the skies bright flashes of light and of clouds running wild. No one knew that Magoricum and her majesty queen Feeanna were engaged in a terrible fight. Magoricum knew if he could get away from her majesty he would become with the help of the magic wand the ruler of the whole world. Her majesty had to stop him; Magoricum was a greedy man and loved power he was definitely not the man to rule the world. Her majesty sent a message in pictures to mother nature for Mother Nature to help stop this greedy man Magoricum. Mother nature herself came to the north sea and threw a bolt of lightning at Magoricum the lightning stopped Magoricum In his tracks; he dropped the magic wand which her majesty caught but the lightning also hit her majesty just as the pair of them flew over the coast of Kent. Taking the magic wand from her majesties hand I pointed it at her and said a few words in the old language of the fairies as the wise old fairies had taught me. Her majesty stood up shook her head and I could see that she was now her old self. Pointing her magic wand at Magoricum she spoke in the old language and Magoricum vanished. Thanking me for my help her majesty took me back to fairyland on Dartford heath where all of the fairies were waiting to hear what the cause of the strange feeling was that we had all experienced. Later her majesty told me that Magoricum had, had too many chances here on earth and she had turned him Into a stone and sent him to a planet far out Into space he would never come back to this earth to become a menace to the fairies and all of the human race again.

Pixie village.

Pixie village is a small place that was built by a team of leprechauns many, many years ago. Hardly anyone goes near the village, as the pixies are renowned for playing tricks on all that should happen to find their way to them. Pixies are not really spiteful but they do love to play tricks on any person be It fairy or otherwise that happens to get too near to their homes. Complaining to her majesty was no good as her majesty has told all of fairyland to keep away from the pixies. I remember the day that I walked through fairyland not really looking where I was going. I had heard that an herb that one uses In the kitchen had been seen near to where the stream that runs though fairyland leaves fairyland and continues on Its way down to the sea. The herb known as wild mint is in my opinion much better than the mint herb that I grow in my garden. Wild mint has a much stronger taste than garden mint and one does not need so much when cooking. I was so Intent on looking for the wild mint that I did not realise that I was so close to the pixie village. The village Is more or less a row or better two rows of small cottages facing each other about twenty three little houses. In the middle of the road is a well that was once a wishing well but the pixies used it for some very strange wishes and her majesties mother turned it into an ordinary well a very long time ago. I was soon spotted and my hat was pushed from my head by a young pixie that crept up behind me. Peels of laughter came from all the pixies. I had walked into a village meeting; all of the pixies were present. “No stories here for you one of the bolder ones shouted.” “No fairies to tell tales on what we do, so watch what you do or say here in our village.” I knew better than to get mixed up in anything the pixies were going to do it was sure to be something silly. I quickened my pace and walked as fast as I could out of the village. Strung across the road between two houses a piece of very tough cord made from spiders threads spun specially for the pixies, as I got near to It, It was pulled tight. I nearly tripped over it but at the last minute I managed to jump over the cord. The pixies were very disappointed most of them laughed to see me an elderly man jumping over a piece of cord. I ignored them and carried on, on my search for the wild mint. Leaving the pixies behind me I walked for another hour then I smelt the wild mint. A breeze carried the heavy scent to me; I saw a huge bed of this fragrant herb growing wild all over a large area of woodland space. I picked as much as I could carry and made my way back home. This time I carefully avoided the pixies and their village I did not want to get caught by them a second time in one day; that would have been too much. I carried on to my home and arranged the wild mint on my clothesline to dry it off for future use in my kitchen. I thought about my day. It had been a good day, I had walked through the clean forest air, and I had enjoyed the different birds and wild animals that I had seen as well as all of the wild flowers. The pixies, well one thing that they said certainly did not come true. They had said, “no stories here for you, they were wrong as you may see when you read this little story about my day In fairyland looking for wild mint.” The pixies had unknowingly given me this story to write for you.

  Another Pixie Tale.

Pixies as I have told you are a very strange folk. Most of the pixies are poor workers they pay little attention to whatever It Is they are supposed to be doing. Pixies think that they can turn their hands to anything. Building houses that very soon fall apart or the roof lets in the rain or the windows fall out of the walls doors that do not shut properly is another thing that one must think of before employing pixies to do any work. They tell each other that they are the best makers of clothes in the whole of the world even though the stitches come apart and the clothes fall into little piles of cut cloth with cotton threads hanging out of them. I do not know which of the pixies is the worse those from the north of England or those from the south. Everything they turn their hands to Is done In a slip shod sort of way and no customer Is ever satisfied with their work, no matter what It Is that they have been asked to do, the results are terrible. Going through fairyland I heard one of the pixies from the south of England telling others of her kind that they should challenge the pixies In the north to a dress making competition. I must admit I smiled to myself as I mentally pictured the outcome of such a competition. The southern pixies duly sent a challenge to the northern pixies, which accepted such a challenge straight away with even thinking about it. No one in the north could make a dress that did not fall apart after a few minutes wearing of the garment. In the south things were not much better all of the southern pixies were renowned for their terrible stitching activities while trying to make garments of any sort. (Why you yourself might even has bought such a garment where the stitches have come apart and shown your underwear.) Very embarrassing. Both north and south took the challenge seriously and garment or better dresses were made which fell apart. Then a northern pixie had an Idea. “Let us get the leprechauns to make the dresses everyone knows how fine they can stitch. The leprechauns were paid for each dress one piece of gold and they turned out the most beautiful dresses. Soon the northern pixies had enough dresses to enter into the competition. One dress that was extra fine stitched and looking very lovely was chosen. In the south the same kind of problems, dresses fell apart the stitches were too slovenly made, the dresses were even worse than those in the north. A fairy seeing how badly the pixies in the south worked; felt sorry for them and offered to make them a dress or two. The fairy had not heard about the contest between northern pixies and the southern pixies and made the southern pixies tow lovely dresses. The fairy had used the finest of cloth and the best silken threads and the two dresses were perfect. The day of the competition came and the pixies asked her majesty queen Feeanna to be the judge of the best workmanship of the two dresses. Her majesty agrees. When all were gathered the northern and the southern pixies, her majesty standing on a raised platform said, “bring each dress that I shall judge to be the best. The southern pixies confident with the dresses that the fairy had stitched chose the better of the two and handed it to her majesty. The northern handed her majesty the dress that the leprechaun had made. Her majesty then spoke these words, “these two dresses are not and have never been stitched by a pixie, and one is from a fairy I recognise the fine fairy stitches and the other from a leprechaun whose stitches are so neat but can never compete with the stitches of a fairy. I declare that this competition is over and that no one has won. Also the two dresses are to be hung from the tallest tree in fairyland so that all may see what happens when silly pixies from the south challenge the silly pixies from the north. Both have got help to win this silly contest Instead of trying to win honestly by using their own talents. The dresses are still hanging in fairyland for all to see what silly people the pixies are.

Red sky.

Finishing work in my garden I turned to go into the kitchen to wash my hands and make a bite of supper. Suddenly the evening sky or better the sun was a huge red ball hanging in the sky. The sun had turned the sky red. Such a red sky I have only seen the likes of once before in my life. I am talking about the time that seems just like yesterday, the time when the house at the bottom of the road burned down. I remember the fire brigade with four fire engines and the amounts of hoses that seemed to be running in all directions. The firemen, two to a hose, pointing the hose’s nozzle at the burning house and the jets of water that were going Into the windows and the roof of the house. The relief when I heard from another man that lives nearby that no one was in the house its owners had gone away for a week’s holiday. Going In to my kitchen I hoped that nothing out of the ordinary was going to happen and made my evening meal. Washing the cups and saucers and the plates I placed them on to my Dutch dresser to dry. Going out again I went to the front gate and looked up and down the road, thank goodness nothing was to be seen, no burning houses no accident all In fact seemed to be normal and I went back into my house. I read a very interesting book on wild animals and decided to go upstairs to my bed. Finishing my evening toiletries I got into my bed and tried to drop off into sleep. It was to no avail the red evening sky and sinking sun looking like a fireball had brought back the memories of the burning house. Getting up I dressed and went downstairs, the kitchen clock caught my eyes and I saw that it was half past twelve. Putting on my heavy boots and my overcoat I took an electric torch from the drawer and unlocking the back door I went into my garden. The stars lit up the heavenly sky and I wandered off into fairyland. All was quiet, the night owl Is busy looking for mice to feed to her family ahead of me on the path through the woods I saw the old fox on his nightly business. I did not need my electric torch and walked right down through to the stream that slowly meanders its way through fairyland. As I got to the stream I flashed my torch on to the slowly moving water of the stream. I did not expect to see anything out of the ordinary but the powerful light of the torch showed me that the stream was covered in a brown slime. I walked back along the stream’s path to see what was causing the brown slime in the water that was normally pure enough to drink. It was not long before I came to a place where some one had tipped a barrel with old motor oil in the stream. Two more barrels were standing on the bank waiting to be poured into the flowing water. I now switched on my torch and saw a man running off from the stream. I used all of my strength to lift the barrel back on to the bank of the river and still using my torch I tried to see who it was that had deliberately tipped the barrel into the water. I had no luck there was no one to be seen the man had run off into the night. A movement to my right, I quickly turned my head expecting to see the man that had committed this crime. To my surprise it was her majesty queen Feeanna. “I felt your uneasiness in my cottage and remembered you telling me of the fire in your road where you live,” “then I felt your presence here in fairyland, and now I see that you have stopped a man from pouring the old oil into fairylands stream.” How may I repay you for the services that you do to help all of the peoples of fairyland?” “Your majesty I have all that I need there is just one thing that you can do for me if you will. Stop this man and any other human from spoiling the natural treasures of fairyland, I would like to see this land clean of all rubbish.” “It shall be so,” said her majesty. All transporters of rubbish whether It be In lorries or cars or In any form be brought here to be disposed of, the engines of these vehicles will break down, anyone using a wheelbarrow the barrow will fall apart, In future nothing will spoil this small paradise that we have here In fairyland. I heard a noise and I awoke it had all been a dream. I feel so sad that perhaps even now some fool will be pouring old oil in the stream or others will be heading for fairyland with loads of rubbish to dump Instead of taking it to the proper places to be disposed of properly. Feeling slightly depressed I got up and washed my face in cold water. No use my going back to my bed now I will have an early breakfast and go out to the stream to make sure that all Is In order, I cannot get that red sun and the sky of yesterday evening out of my head. I hope that all is well and then I can get on with my day as I always do. My garden always need seeing to, what with the weeds, the watering of the growing plants; there Is enough to keep me busy this phase of depression will soon be gone as I see the growing fruits of my garden.

  A Tale From Shamus.

Shamus is first of all my best friend; secondly he is a leprechaun with certain magic powers given to him by her majesty Queen Feeanna, Queen of all the fairies. He comes and goes as he pleases, I might not see him for weeks on end then he will pop up out of the telephone, the television or even my old radio if I have it switched on.  He has found a way to travel by using electrical currents that take him all around the world. He tried to explain to me how he travels. He vanishes into a television set that is switched on and travels up to the satellites way high up in space and comes down again into any television set that is switched. He does the same with telephones, radios and I think that he could come through any electrical apparatus that one might be using such as an electric shaver, or toothbrush, he could come through the mixing machine that your mum might be using to make dough for bread or puddings and cakes. He uses anything to get him where he wants to go. If no electrical things are switched on he waits until someone switches on the electric light and I have seen him pop out of a light bulb, although he has explained all of this to me I must admit I still do not know how he does It, It Is and remains a mystery to me although I too can work magic and have always with me a pocket full of magic dust, I even have a magic wand and a piece from a magic truth mirror that was accidentally broken all of these things were given to me by her majesty, Feeanna the fairy queen because of my help to the fairies over the years.  has asked me not to use the electrical current to travel as If I was to get myself lost It would be nearly impossible for any one to find me and rescue me. He popped out of the television one evening and asked me if I wanted to go for a trip to France. I did not really want to go anywhere I had started to read a new book from the local library. He had his way and I holding his hand vanished Into the electric light system coming out of a lamp standing In a street called rue de la Fontaigne right In the middle of Paris. He never travels anywhere without his famous shillelagh; a sort of knobbed walking stick. This shillelagh is magic and always defends him if he is physically attacked. “Come along slowcoach we have work to do,” Work I thought to myself what work did he have to do In Paris France?”  Walking down the rue de la Fontaigne he vanished down a small dark alleyway, there was no lighting not even a candle was to be seen. At the end of the alleyway I could hear voices In French then I saw him or rather his shillelagh a group of rough looking men were attacking a man that was now laying on the ground. Shamus’s shillelagh was hitting the surprised men who began to run away from the man on the ground. The shillelagh did not stop beating the men until the last had vanished. Going to the man he lifted him to a sitting position and asked him In perfect French If he was alright, the man stood up and told him that he was on an errand he had to deliver a certain magic powder to a friendly wizard these men were after the powder. Whoever possessed the powder would be able to vanish. The men wanted the powder to help them steal from banks or large shops where plenty of money would be in the cash tills. How the men knew that he was carrying the powder was a complete mystery. We accompanied the man to the house of the wizard. The wizard after listening to the man’s story of us having rescued him and the powder invited us into his home. This was not the home of an ordinary wizard the walls were decorated In the finest of wall paper, thick piled carpets were on the floors In every room, large mirrors were conveniently placed In each room so that whoever was In the room could see all that went on In the room. The wizard then asked us into what he called his workshop. The workshop turned out to be a modern laboratory with all kinds of glass apparatus on long benches. Going to one of the long heavy tables he showed us a large glass container. In the container was a green coloured mixture that bubbled away under a small Bunsen burner. Taking the powder the wizard quickly poured it into the mixture in the glass container. The mixture turned a deep blue then it was as colourless as water. Turning to us he smiled and said the newest rubbish destroyer is now ready to be placed on the market. This mixture will destroy any bacteria that one finds on any street in the world. From this small glass container millions of bottles of this liquid will be sent all over the world. One drop in a ten thousand-litre tank will be enough to keep the streets of this world free from infectious Illnesses. Showing us into another room he asked us to be seated at a table that was overflowing with food and drinks. Some of the wine bottles were very, very old and the wizard took great delight in recommending one old wine after the other.  drank more than his share and was fairly tipsy. I wondered how he was going to get us back to my home; I did not fancy an electrical trip in his condition. I should not have worried for after taking a drink from a rather good wine, He took my hand and we were in my kitchen. Fortunately I had left the kitchen light on. I shudder to think where we might have ended our nights adventure.

Fairy quilt.

One day a group of fairies came to visit me, I think they were bored it was drizzling with rain; in my house it was nice and dry. I have many things in my old house that Interest the fairies. They love looking through old magazines some of which were ladies magazines. In one such lady magazine they saw a picture of a quilt that had been stitched together by a local women. “What Is this?” They excitedly asked me. “Oh that Is a quilt the person that made It used up all of the old clothing that she had by cutting the cloth Into squares, all about the same size then she carefully stitched the pieces together until she had this quilt. “What is a quilt used for?” this was the next question. I explained that a quilt could be used for covering a bed, or It could be hung on a wall for decoration some people stitched two quilts together and filled the inside with wadding to make the quilt thick and warm In the long winter months. The quilt would be placed around their shoulders and it kept them warm especially if the house was draughty. The next question surprised me; “can we make a quilt?” My answer to this was very simple. “As long as you have plenty of old clothes or sheets, curtains that you do not use any more why as long as you can sew you should all be able to make a quilt. “Have you any cloth that you can give to us?” We only have the garments that have gotten too small for us; our curtains and bed sheets are made from the threads that the spiders spin for us. We have no clothes or curtains and bed sheets as you do. I agreed and up to the loft I went with a dozen or more fairies flying ahead of me. I opened up a number of old chests and soon cries off delight were to be heard from the fairies as I took out old silk dresses from long, long ago. The dresses had not been worn for years and I must admit they had all been in the loft for years and some smelt terrible. The dresses with old curtains sheets we took downstairs. “These all go into the washing machine,” I said. The fairies were disappointed they wanted to cut everything up into small squares and start on their quilts. I did not give in; it took three washing machine loads to get all of the cloth clean. We had great fun hanging the things on some washing lines that I hung in my kitchen and bathroom. I stoked up the kitchen fire and we waited patiently until everything was dry. “Have you all got scissors, needles and of course have you all got enough thread to sew the quilts? My next move was to go to my basket where I keep the buttons and needles and reels of cotton. Soon every fairy had a needle and thread, the scissors they had to share. There Is to be no arguments about who uses what scissor or who Is allowed to cut what cloth, I have put all of your names Into this hat and one after another I will draw out the paper and the name of the fairy who Is called may cut a piece of cloth from whatever I hold In my hand. The fairies agreed and I started to take one small piece of paper after another and called out a name. The fairy whose name was called took a pair of the scissors and cut a small piece of cloth. All went well until I came to the old silken dresses. Fairies know what silk is and where It comes from. All wanted silk for their quilts. It was quite a day cutting and giving pieces of silk to the fairies. One fairy was not bothered about silk or even the tassels that I had found in another old sea chest, she was the only fairy that seemed satisfied with whatever I gave her. Then it was decided for the fairies to pair off in different rooms to start working on their quilts. I wandered through the house quietly watching the busy hands stitching the pieces of cloth that they had been given in squares. Just one fairy that is the fairy that was happy with every thing I had given to her. I decided to keep my eye on her she sewed beautifully each tiny stitch was placed near to perfection In the cloth, It soon showed that this one quilt would be different from all of the others. The other fairies sewed square onto square this fairy was carefully sewing her pieces of clothe into a pattern. Day after day the fairies appeared and went on with their cutting and sewing. Twice I had, had to go Into town to buy cotton or silks threads for the fairies, one by one the quilts were finished most of them had been filled with a form of down In the way of feathers that the fairies had by means of magic filled their quilts. Just the little fairy that had sewn her patches in the form of a maze, she had carefully chosen her patches and one could see the path that led through the maze. One patch that she had carefully sewn right In the middle of the maze was in red; the path was in different colours but just one of the paths led to the centre of the maze. The quilt she did not stuff with feathers like the other fairies she placed a large piece of hardboard in her quilt so that one could stand the quilt up and trace the different paths. I myself tried three times to go through to the middle of the maze. The fairy had used magic after she had finished the quilt each path as one tried to trace it changed its colours. The quilt became famous and the fairy that had taken so much trouble making the quilt; was made by her majesty into one of the wise old fairies. The magic that the little fairy had used was something that not even her majesty could fathom out without a long study of the patches. The patches had been so cleverly sewn into their patterns; then the magic that the fairy had used was something completely new even to her majesty. The other fairies well some of them took their quilts home with them. Some left their quilts in the rooms where they had sewn them. I now have quilts in nearly every room and I always have something warm to throw over the bed when it gets cold at night. One of the fairies left her quilt in my back garden, either she was unhappy with her work or the quilt was too heavy for her. It now rests on my old wheelbarrow with my two comfortable old cushions.

  Wishing wells.

Most people pooh, pooh the Idea that one can make a wish at a wishing well. I cannot speak for all wishing wells but I do know of one that always grants a wish as long as It Is not a personal wish. A wish for wealth, a wish for good health for oneself or the age old wishes to live for a long, long time. The wishing well that I am thinking of was once just an ordinary well surrounded by a small wall and pulley and rope to let the buckets into the water and the filled buckets of water to pull out of the well. This well was built some one hundred years ago or more. The builders were a leprechaun and a farmer’s son. The tow built the well because the animals that waded Into the middle of the stream to drink muddied the stream where they used to get water. Even the wild animals waded in the water especially the wild pigs they trampled the streams banks to make mud in which they wallowed. One day a leprechaun came past the farm and asked if there was any work to be done. The farmer told his son to go with the leprechaun and build a well. The leprechaun was promised three meals a day and a coin when the well was finished, he could also sleep in the hayloft. The two men started digging and after three weeks they were deep enough to build a wall around the diggings this wall would stop dirt and stones from falling Into the well and blocking It. Finishing the wall around the well they put on wooden frame a roller with a handle to turn. This roller they wound a thick rope around on the end of the rope they fixed a hook. The hook was to hang a bucket on. Whenever someone wanted fresh water all they had to do was to lower the bucket by means of the handle and then turning the handle the other way they pulled the bucket up out of the well full of fresh water. The farmer gave the leprechaun his promised coin and he went off to find other work elsewhere. The farmer and his wife and children used the well for years it always gave them fresh cold water year in and year out. One day a wizard heard of a leprechaun that possessed the magic power to turn any piece of metal into gold. The wizard wanted the secret and followed the leprechaun. One day the leprechaun slept in a haystack and was silly enough not to take his shillelagh with him as he lay in the hay. The wizard knew that a shillelagh in the hands of a leprechaun was a very dangerous weapon he quietly crept to where the shillelagh lay and ran off with it; in the morning the leprechaun realised that his beloved shillelagh was no longer with him. Keeping a sharp look out he soon realised that the wizard was following him. What should he do? No means of protection his shillelagh the wizard now held in his hand. Knowing the danger he was in the leprechaun looked around to find a place safe enough to hide his secret of magic. All he could see was the well that had been built by another leprechaun. Making sure that the wizard could not see him he went to the well and threw Into the deep water a small box In which he kept the secret magic words that would turn any piece of metal Into gold. Turning and walking back towards the wizard whistling away as If he had not a care In the world he greeted the wizard with a very good morning to you sir. The wizard not knowing of the well and of the leprechauns throwing away of his box with the magic words written on a piece of parchment, he answered with a good morning to you young man. The wizard then told the leprechaun that he wanted the secret of turning any metal into gold. The leprechaun laughed and said, “wouldn’t we all.” The wizard loosing patience placed a spell on the poor leprechaun, the spell turned the leprechaun into a wild pig and off it went grunting all of the time. The wizard went back home. Soon a young maid went to fetch water from the well, as she turned the handle to pull the heavy bucket of water from out of the well she spoke these words, “I wish the full bucket of water was not so heavy, the handle turned easy and soon the full bucket of water was at the top of the well. Taking the bucket she went back to the farm, on her way back she realised that she had made a wish and that the wish had come true. Every time she went to the well to fetch water the bucket had no weight. Soon there was a dance to be held in the village. The maid had been invited but she had no nice dress to wear, In fact all that she had were her everyday working clothes. At the well while fetching water she made another wish. “I wish that somehow, someone will give me a dress to wear so that I too may go to the dance. On her arrival at the farm with the bucket of water a young woman came out of the farmhouse carrying some clothes in her hand. On seeing the maid carrying the bucket of water she threw the clothes at the maid’s feet and said, “You can have these old rags they do not suit me anyway. The woman then got into a coach that the maid had not seen and away went the coach pulled by two black horses. The maid kept the secret that the well was a wishing well and only told her own daughter about It when she was a very old woman. This well I know of but people only wish for the wrong things so I will not tell anyone about the well that was filled with magic so long ago by a leprechaun that was turned into a wild pig.

Cottage ruin.

On one of my walks through the county of Kent In southern England I came across an old cottage that was slowly falling into a ruin. The roof is missing quite a few slates. Some of the windows have been removed also the front door. Looking at the cottage I decided to spend the night In Its not too inviting walls at least I thought I would not be exposed to the weather. It looks as If it will rain during the night. Walking In through what was once the front door; I found myself in a small room. The ceiling was still In Its right place and I decided to place my sleeping sack on the floor. Unrolling a strip of soft sponge I placed my sleeping sack onto the sponge and then taking my small gas cooker and a kettle that I always have with me on my walks. I made myself a cup of sweet tea and ate one of the corned beef sandwiches that I had brought with me from my home. Leaving the small gas cooker and the kettle ready for in the morning I made myself comfortable in my sleeping sack. I dropped off into a deep sleep. I woke some two hours later not in my sleeping sack but in a very comfortable bed. The bed was warm and I stretched and yawned and was slowly dropping off to sleep again when I heard this soft voice. “Who is sleeping in my bed?” I was now fully awake, what had happened during my sleep in my sleeping sack? Why was I now in a comfortable four-poster bed in soft white sheets with a pillow filled with the finest, softest feathers from a goose or even a duck? Whose voice had I heard? I took my electric torch from my rucksack and shone its beam of light round the room. Sitting on the end of my bed was a small fairy. Looking directly at her I spoke a few words in the old fairy language. Whose cottage is this and why is it going to wrack and ruin? The fairy was surprised at hearing a human speaking in her language. “Who are you?” She said. I am Bern a friend of queen Feeanna was my reply. “What has happened for you to let this cottage become a ruin? The cottage looks a ruin to all who pass but in reality It Is home for my sister and me. We left fairyland some fifty years ago we wanted to live like the humans live in a cottage and grow our own food and be Independent of magic. The cottage only looks a ruin to all that pass by in this way we normally get no visitors. Everyone leaves this cottage well alone the humans in the village nearby think the cottage is haunted and that suits us well. The next question rather startled me, “you will not tell her majesty about us we like the life we lead, we even come through the winter without going to the caves under the Himalayan Mountains?” “ You will not tell,” this was more of a pleading and I promised to keep their secret although knowing her majesty as I do she knew full well where the fairies lived and the reasons for their doing so. “Go back to sleep and remember please do not tell anyone about where we live. I dropped off Into a deep sleep again; In the morning as I awoke I was not In a bed, I did not have a pillow soft as can be I was In my sleeping sack the early morning light streamed through the empty window, did I dream about the fairies? Was I In a four-poster bed during the night, had I really spoken to a fairy, I really cannot say, sometimes my dreams are so vivid It Is as If I am really some place else. After I returned home to my house on the Dartford heath I strolled through the woods or fairyland and all was as it normally is. I saw many of the wild animals. Fairies were going about their duties even her majesty appeared to welcome me home from my walk through Kent. Her majesty said nothing about the fairies I had seen In my dream and no fairies were reported as missing so I thought to myself the fairies are where they are with her majesties permission and knowing that her majesty knows all about what Is going on In fairyland, I decided not to say anything about my stay In the ruins of the cottage.

  The stick.

On one of my daily walks over the heath at Dartford I found a stick. Nothing unusual you might say but this was no ordinary stick. The stick had a curious pattern carved Into It lines had been carved forming a pattern, a pattern so unusual that I decided to take it home with me. I finished my daily walk and made my way back to my home. The stick I placed in my old umbrella stand and thought no more about it. I made my lunch and after I washed the dishes and put them away I remembered the odd stick that I had found. Going to my umbrella stand I took out the stick and going back into my warm kitchen I placed the stick on my kitchen table. Washing the stick in soapy water I dried it on some clean rag and replaced it on the table. Sitting down in my old leather armchair I dozed off into a light sleep. Something awoke me and for a few seconds I was I must admit a little off my usual bright and cheerful self. I like my midday snooze and being woken up like this I was a little annoyed. Looking over to the table where I had placed the stick I saw that it had been moved it was now right at the edge of the table as If it wanted to get down to the floor. Slowly getting up out of my old armchair I went to the table and took the stick into my hand. The stick felt very warm to the touch, I was I admit rather surprised at the stick being warm It was summer I know but no direct sunshine came Into the kitchen as the sun Is In the front of the house. I am puzzled where does the warmth come from after all It Is only a stick that I picked up on my daily walk. Examining the stick I traced the lines that had been expertly carved into the wood. Each line had been carved with a very sharp Instrument a knife or even perhaps a scalpel that doctors use in operations. It must have been very sharp to get such perfect lines. The stick Is extremely light; I had not noticed this before, light but solid It took my weight without bending as I leaned on to It. Putting the stick back on to the kitchen table I sat once again In my old leather armchair and pretended to be asleep. My eyelids were only half closed, I thought to myself It If moves again I will throw some of my magic dust over It and see what happens. Some five minutes later I saw the stick move ever so slightly but it had moved. I took a handful of my magic dust and threw it on the stick. The stick to my amazement turned into a snake. I did not move but just watched the snake, after a few minutes the snake turned back into a stick the carved lines were the patterns on the snakes skin. This set me thinking, was the stick or snake placed where I found It. Was I chosen to take the stick into fairyland? There are no snakes In fairyland, as the snakes are dangerous they sometimes lay curled up on a tree branch waiting for someone to come by usually a small animal that they then bite and poison runs from their hollow teeth Into the victim killing It. Her majesty queen Feeanna banned snakes from fairyland as the fairies often did not see the snakes and were bitten. The fairies had to use magic to stop the poison from the snakebite from harming them. What should I do with the stick? Should I place It In a sack and take it with me for queen Feeanna to look at it? It would be a shame to destroy such a nice walking stick. I placed the stick or snake in a large sack and went with it into fairyland. Her majesty must have picked up my thoughts for as soon as I reached the old oak tree a bright blue flash a small puff of smoke and her majesty stood In front of me. I explained the strange stick that was so beautifully carved and that it turned into a snake. Her majesty took out her magic mirror from one of the pockets of her rainbow coloured dress and I placed the sack with the stick onto the magic mirror. Pictures formed in the mirror and I saw a wizard that seemed very familiar. Ah! Moneyman Is up to his old tricks again he would do anything to harm fairyland and the fairies. Her majesty looked at me and smiled, “you would like to keep the stick,” she said. I nodded my head and the sack shook two or three times. “Open the sack you now have a perfect walking stick.” I opened the sack and there was the beautiful carved walking stick. “Now for Mooseybann,” said her majesty. With one wave of her magic wand I watched in the mirror as Mooseybann turned into a snake and slithered off on his belly like all snakes do.

Strange behaviour.

Some twenty years or so ago things were very strange in fairyland it was as If Mother Nature had made a new law. All animals were actually playing one with the other. The rabbits tolling about with foxes even the grumpy old badger played hide and seek with the weasels and stoats. The owls and the mice spoke to each other. The shy deer were no longer shy and did not even run off when a human appeared. Things were very strange Indeed, the fairies were just as worried as I was about such a peaceful state everything was so weird none of us had seen the animals and the birds so peaceful one with the other. One whole month of peace in fairyland why even the pixies were quiet and well behaved no one knew why or what had caused this change in the behaviour of all that lived in fairyland. I took no chances things were not right I could not contact her majesty queen Feeanna, I could not even get In touch with mother nature It was as If both of them had never existed. I took to sleeping in fairyland with my magic wand and my pocket full of magic dust. I slept mostly during the day; at night I silently walked through fairyland looking for any other changes that might take place. I need not have worried things remained the same the birds, the animals and all of the little peoples were as If they had been placed under a spell. Everyone knows that owls need mice to eat and to feed their young. Foxes hunt and chase rabbits they too needed food, I wondered who or what was feeding all of the creatures in fairyland. I even went to the shops and bought tins of dog food, tins of cat food and from my garden I placed lettuce for the rabbits, I opened the tins and placed the food everywhere I knew the animals would come by, I did not want any animal to go hungry. I now spent much of my time in fairyland only going home to wash or shower and shave, eat some food then back to fairyland. Most nights I half slept standing against my old oak tree. This night was to be very different Indeed, the weather was warm the stars twinkled high In the sky all was as peaceful as It usually Is then the bright blue light followed by a light that nearly blinded me the light was as If a stroke of lighting had struck the ground It was so bright. Mother nature and queen Feeanna were now after nearly two months back here in fairyland. Mother nature smilingly said, “you were right after all Feeanna, he is looking after fairyland as you said he would be.” Her majesty queen Feeanna also smiled and said, “I think I know our Mr. Shaw by now, he would as I told you not let the animals or the little people of fairyland down If things were to go wrong I have proved my point mother nature and for the rest of this year we will have sunshine here In fairyland with just the occasional shower to water the flowers and plants.” “Mother nature waved her hand saying Feeanna you have convinced me that there are humans that help In all that I do, your Mr. Shaw has proven that so often that for the rest of this year all In fairyland will have weather as you have asked for. Now I think It Is time that we turned fairyland back to Its original state and let the animals, birds, and the little peoples go back to their normal ways. A flash of light and I saw that the animal were now as they always were the fox was not playing with the rabbits he was hunting them. The same with the owls they were now swooping down on any mouse they saw, after all they had their young to feed. As for the pixies they were soon up to their old tricks again and I am happy to finish this little story by reporting that all is well again in fairyland.

A way to go.

For the first time in my long life I have to admit that I am lost, lost in a world where fairies are part of my life. Wherever I go, whatever I do, they are always with me. While I am asleep, I dream of fairies, awake I see fairies. I am not complaining; I like the little people they amuse me, what Is more Important they have no fear of me. Together we make up a world all of our own. Fairies work with magic, I too work with magic, and I have a magic pen that writes all of the little tales I write about. Did you really think that I make up all of these little stories out of my own imagination? No way, I am an old man who loves his comfort. My old arm chair has seen much use over the last twenty five years, why I have even worn the upholstery Into a very thin layer of cloth, It Is time for me to have the chair renewed with a heavy cloth so that I will be able to see my next years out In comfort. I have never travelled all over England and Wales, France, the Himalayan mountains, Australia and all of the other places that I write my fairy tales about. All of these stories are from my magic pen even my good friend Shamus the leprechaun with all of his skills In building, sewing, metalworking, and his shillelagh Is just an ordinary walking stick It Is my pen that makes the magic work. Queen Feeanna, queen of all the fairies is just another part of my magic pen and its plot to ensnare me in all of these tales that I write. I have a way to go and that way Is for me not so difficult as you might think, I am compelled to pick up my pen nearly every day to write another tale about fairies, why even today I wanted to write about something totally different there were meant to be no fairies or fairyland In this today’s little story. Now I see that the pen has taken over again, I have written about her majesty queen Feeanna, about fairies and even about my imaginary friend  the leprechaun. I might as well tell you what happened this morning; I always put scraps out for the birds every morning It Is my way of repaying them for the lovely singing of the dawn chorus that I listen to every day. I finished eating my breakfast and placed the bacon rind on to a saucer with plenty of bread crumbs from the thickly spread buttered bread that I eat In the mornings, as I took the saucer with the crumbs to the piece of fencing where the feeding trays are placed. A blackbird asked me why there was so little on the saucer? It is not enough to feed my babies bring out more or I will make your life a misery. I was flabbergasted; a blackbird that spoke, this is what happens to people that speak with fairies, who live with fairies and above all who write about fairies. How on earth could this blackbird make my life a misery? I went back into my kitchen and cut some more slices of bread from the loaf and buttered them with plenty of butter. These I crumbled up and took them into the garden, the blackbird trilled a small thank you. Am I really hearing these voices? Is my brain still in order? Or do I hear the voices because of the fairies? Then the neighbour’s dog, Sammy is a well-behaved animal that takes great delight in surprising people. Sammy usually hides and then springs out on to his unsuspecting victims. This morning after I had placed more bread crumbs for the birds Sammy came to the fence standing on his hind legs he called to me, “where are my dog biscuits this morning? My owner has gone out In the car he has left me a bowl of water and one of those tasty tins of dog’s food but no biscuits. Do animals speak to you? Do birds speak and threaten you? No of course they don’t. You do not write fairy tales. As I have titled this story I still have a way to go. Bern.

  My make believe world.

One day, I have been told; I will disappear forever in my fairyland. Disappear In a land that perhaps to you that read this little story; Is just a make believe land that I for some unknown reason to you, have peopled with fairies, leprechauns, Imps, pixies and other figments of my imagination some of my characters such as the trolls are I honestly admit are taken from the Scandinavian countries. The leprechauns from Ireland. No I myself have never seen any of these little people in real life. What I ask is real life? The moments of my waking life or the more exciting moments of my dream world life are very real to me. In my dream world all of these characters exist, all are real. All live in the adventures that I face day to day. These are the people that I write about they certainly do exist even If only in my imagination. I can see your next question. Yes I can work magic. Only In my dream world It Is true, but this magic Is to me, and all of my characters real. I turn evil wizards into flies or bats or even stones or any other thing that comes into my head. Evil even in my make believe world, must be punished. The same goes for evil witches that threaten my fairies and the world in which they live, I punish without long law meetings. Where clever lawyers can bend the existing laws to suit the evil needs of the wizards and witches of this world. I meet out punishment on the spot. After all it is one of my prerogatives of being the author of these little tales. Yes I do get a sense of being very powerful as I rule over my little world of fairies and other creatures in my fairyland. I would not have it any other way. I too admit that I have a fairy queen that I could if I wanted to blame for anything that goes wrong in any of my fairy tales that I write. I have never taken such a liberty with her majesty and only she and I know that I am really the boss of this my dream world. I have told you the biggest secret of my dream world please keep it to yourselves. I would not like it to get all around the world as others might start writing about their dream worlds. They might or will be perhaps much better than my little stories who knows? I could in my old age start to suffer from jealous attacks when I see a story that is better than my tales of my fairyland. If I should disappear in my dream world please do not come looking for me. After all I am the master of my world of make believe. I am and I think that I tell the truth when I say this, I am the absolute ruler of my own little world. I make the laws. My words are law. Now I see you thinking he is a proper little dictator. Yes I am a dictator; you see there is no one in my world that can compete against me. No armies. No weapons of war. No real people to go against my will; my world is populated with the wild life that is practically harmless. I see to it that food is plentiful and that no one goes hungry. My Insects are the bees that give honey for my fairy cakes or the glow-worms or the ants. My other creatures such as dragons or flying horses such as Pegasus even the unicorn I have sent away from this real world to a planet In outer space far away, too far away to become a menace In my world of make believe. This world of mine, Is I am sorry to have to tell you, only for me. I will not allow any other living person into this my worldly paradise. I am not only the creator of this my world, I am Its ruler that Is why I told you all at the beginning that one day I will disappear forever In this world of mine. I will have no regrets after all the fairies colour my world. Flowers of sheer beauty abound in this my realm. Fruit trees are everywhere with fresh fruits mine for the taking, all Is peaceful and If the pixies get up to too much mischief well I can always punish them with a fitting punishment such as there not being able to speak for one whole week. My world is a dream world. Once again when and if I disappear do not come looking for me or I will turn you into a stone or even a cloud to spend your time flying through the skies. Do not say that you had not been warned. Bern, dictator, emperor and ruler of a make believe world called fairyland where peace and only peace Is known to me and all of my peoples or should I say subjects.

  Invitation.

I have been invited to attend a congress concerning the wizardry that is seldom practised today. Wizards In the olden times were sometimes looking for means of turning all kinds of base metals and powders into gold. None succeeded until a few years ago. Base metals can be turned into gold. The process is long and extremely expensive. Fairies have with the aid of magic been able to produce gold simply by using magic. Be warned though fairy gold will turn to dust if kept too long. I was not really Interested In going up to London to attend the wizardry congress. Most of the wizards I know are somewhat lazy and the so-called wizards apprentice does most of the work. The pay is poor and the wizards are usually quite mean when it comes to food. Most apprentices have to scavenge for food in their spare time. Spare time is also mainly at night time. This is the time where the apprentices are out in the orchards or in the hen’s roost on the farms stealing eggs or milking cows in the cow stalls. Vegetables are also stolen from farms and many a garden has been raided for fruit and vegetables. Some wizard’s apprentices that I know steal flowers from peoples garden. These flowers they sell in nightclubs or restaurants. Most people that buy the flowers do not realize that they have been stolen. There are of course many poor people that go to market and buy flowers, which they also sell in the nightclubs, and restaurants not all are wizard’s apprentices. The day of the invitation arrived and I made my way to London by train. The large Hall was just off Soho where the meeting was to take place. At the door to the hall two wizards apprentices were taking the invitations and carefully looking at them before letting anyone into the hall. Taking a set near to one of the exits In case I wanted to make a hasty exit I waited patiently for the meeting to start. A wizard dressed in black flowing robes that had golden stars and a moon sewn onto it, made his way to the middle of the stage. His opening was a magic trick that most kids learn at an early age. “This, he said, is to show you that magic is quicker than the eye can see He then rambled on about making gold from lead. I was thoroughly bored and decided to liven things up a little. Taking my magic wand I changed his bar of lead into a bar of what looked like solid gold. The wizard was more surprised than his audience. Picking up what now looked like a bar of gold he weighed it up and down in one hand. The weight seemed to please him and he put the bar of lead back on to the table. Another wave of my wand and a second gold bar appeared next to the one on his table. His face changed into s large smile and this bar was carefully weighed in his hand. The apprentices were stationed all around the hall and had been told to help anyone that might need help. I watched the expressions on the apprentice’s faces. On seeing what looked like two solid bars of gold an apprentice near the stage ran quickly to where the gold was laying on the small table grabbing a bar he ran off to the nearest exit. On seeing this, another apprentice took the other bar of gold. He too ran off. The wizards in the hall were now shouting, most of them wanted to see more gold; the other apprentices were waiting for another chance to steal the next bar if one should appear. I myself had, had enough and walked to the exit nearest me. Pushing open the swing door I walked quickly to the railway station to wait for a train to take me back to my home. On the platform I saw one of the apprentices with what looked like something in the shape of a bar of gold stuck up his pullover. I smiled as I saw the lump shrinking back to dust. What happened to the other apprentice I do not know he too had a surprise coming to him when his bar of solid gold turned back to dust. On the train going home the apprentice I had seen on the platform came and sat in the corner of the compartment where I had taken a seat. He looked very miserable and I felt sorry for him. Without him noticing I used my magic wand a third time. This time his pockets were full of real money. Real money that will not turn into dust like the gold bar that he had stolen. I had the hopes that he would get work with an ordinary man with a trade such as a shoemaker or a builder, somewhere where he could earn an honest living not go back to being an apprentice to a rogue that lived his life by swindling people with his suede magic.

  Sundays.

Sundays are for me a chance to relax and sit back in my old armchair without having to think of what is going on in the outside world. I get up out of bed at least an hour later on Sundays, I take my time washing and dressing, sometimes I just have a wash and shave and throw an old dressing gown around my shoulders before going down to make my breakfast. Today Is Sunday and I decided to make myself a strong cup of coffee Instead of my usual morning breakfast tea. A cup of coffee and a slice of buttered toast is my breakfast today. The newspaper is waiting on the floor mat by the front door. The newspaper boy is always early on Sundays and that is my chance to sit down in my armchair and read about what is going on in the rest of the world. Going to the front door I picked up my newspaper and went back into my kitchen to read the latest events in the world. The second page tells of a woman that claims to have seen fairies in her garden. She also says that when she tried to photograph the fairies they pointed their magic wands at her camera and the camera; as she pushed the button to take the photo, stuck and she could not move It. Going back Into her house she got another camera that belonged to her eighteen year old son and tried once again. The same thing happened, it seemed as If the fairies were camera shy and did not want their photos taken. The woman claimed that both cameras worked all right as long as she did not point the lens at the fairies. This little story in the newspapers tickled me I could picture the woman excitedly getting her cameras focused on the fairies and the fairies blocking the mechanism of the camera. I read the paper from cover to cover only leaving out the political news. I had more than enough political news during the week. On Sundays I needed my rest. The following morning on opening my Monday’s newspaper I saw that the story was now showing a painting supposedly painted by the woman with the two cameras. I must admit the woman was a really good artist for she had portrayed five fairies sitting in a ring each fairy sat upon a toadstool. The fairies looked real and I decided to find out more about the woman and her fairies. I phoned the newspaper and asked to be put through to the editor In charge of the fairy story. I was told to hold the line as the editor concerned was swamped with people telling him their stories of seeing fairies. I decided to visit the woman and her fairies and asked the woman on the telephone switchboard if she knew where the fairies had been seen. She willingly told me that the woman lived in a town called Ashford In Kent. I thanked the woman for her information and decided to drive down to Ashford It Is not too far away from Dartford and would make a good days outing for me. I quickly reached the motorway and drove down to Ashford. There was much traffic on the road and the turn off into the town of Ashford was full of cars and busses. It seems as If the whole world want to see where the fairies had shown themselves. It took me an hour to find a parking place. The rest of the way I walked; it made a change to driving. Some one that thought the whole thing was joke had put up a sign with an arrow pointing along the road. On the sign was written, fairies along here, take your binoculars to get a good look at the fairies. I followed the sign and then I saw a house with newspaper reporters with their cameras. The television crews were there with vans with antennas on the top of them. There was a coming and a going more people arrived. The house itself had all of its curtains closed. There was no one to be seen in the gardens of the house. I decided to walk to the end of the street and look for signs of fairies in the woods and fields at the end of the road. I walked into the woods and for a while I could not see things very clearly. The sun was very strong. In the woods under the trees it was quite dark. I then heard a voice, “Are they still there outside my house?” I looked to see whom it was asking the question and saw a middle-aged woman dressed in country tweeds. I asked her if she meant the house where someone had supposedly seen fairies. “Yes that Is my house, you see I am an artist that paints pictures for a living.” “Things have not been going too well for me that is why I told the reporters about seeing fairies and trying to photograph them.” “As you can see the whole thing has exploded in my face. There are reporters from the newspapers and the television have sent people, It Is terrible.” “All of this fuss because I said I had seen fairies. I only wanted to get my pictures sold to make a living.” I took pity on the poor woman she was very upset that she had put such an Industry In motion only to get a little publicity for her pictures. Taking out my wand I put en end to all of the fuss. Reporters, television vans and all of the people waiting to see fairies were gone. Her house and the road where she lived had gone back to the old way of life there was no more excitement. Later I helped the woman; I will not mention her name to put her pictures in an exhibition of art. The pictures mainly of fairies and of country scenes sold well. We still keep In touch with one another but there is no mention of her ever having seen fairies.

Wise Old fairies.

I think I have told you before in one of my little stories that the name given to the wise old fairies is really a term of endearment. The wise old fairies are of all ages, why some very young fairies because they were so good at the work they did or found a new Idea were called the wise old fairies. Most of the wise old fairies are looking after such places as the hospital, the maternity unit; many more attend the fairy university. Whenever anything unusual happens in or around fairyland the wise old fairies are called in to help solve any problems that might arise. Most of the problems Her Majesty Queen Feeanna, Queen of all the fairies solves herself, as she Is very wise and has a vast amount of knowledge. There are times when many brains are better to solve a problem. This little tale is about one of the wise old fairies that became tired of working at the fairy university, She wanted a break from the work that she was doing to try something else. This does not happen very often as all the wise old fairies are hand picked and each has his or her work to specialise in. Her Majesty heard of the problem and called the wise old fairy Involved to come and see her. The Queen waited patiently for the fairy to appear. No fairy keeps the Queen waiting and at the appointed time the fairy appeared dressed in a pretty frock on which were sewn some beautiful dragonflies. The dragonflies were of all different colours. This was the special work that this fairy was doing at the fairy university, changing the colours of the dragonflies. Once all dragonflies were the colour of water it helped protect them from hungry fish. In the meantime the dragonflies had learned over the years to fly higher when they flew over water. This wise old fairy had the Idea to make them all different she experimented with colours. Some of her dragonflies one can see today bright blue, green or even a brownish colour. Her Majesty greeted the wise old fairy and asked her what it was that is bothering her. “I find no more pleasure in my work.” She said. “Would you like to go somewhere strange to do your studies? Asked Her Majesty.” “Yes please, somewhere far, far away I would like a complete change from that, what I am now doing.” Her Majesty smiled a knowing smile and said, “How would you like to go the Amazon In South America?” “I would like that, Your Majesty,” said the wise old fairy. A wave of Her majesties magic wand and the wise old fairy disappeared. On her arrival in the jungles of the Amazon, The wise old fairy was surrounded by millions of butterflies. Butterflies as far as the eyes could see. Butterflies of all colours, small butterflies medium and very large butterflies. The wise old fairy is delighted It was as If she had come home. Now it is no more the dragonflies it is the butterflies. There is very much work to do. In her mind she saw butterflies in hundreds of different colours with markings on their wings. Some of the markings looked like large eyes and were very colourful. Using her magic wand she soon had a small laboratory ready to start her work. The butterflies were so easy to catch and soon she had cages and cages full of butterflies. Her first experiment was to turn a huge butterfly sort from dark brown to a bright blue. These butterflies she with a wave of her wand painted large eyes on to their wings. These she let go into the wilds of the forest. Some years later those first large butterflies had increased and now there were millions of them to be seen at certain times of the year. The wise old fairy worked very hard and soon there were only a few dark brown butterflies to be seen in the forests of the Amazon. The wise old fairy reported her work back to the fairy university in fairyland. The last time that I visited the fairy university I saw a large board of honour on one of the entrance walls on it was a picture of the wise old fairy. In her hands she held in the one hand a Dragonfly In the other a wonderfully coloured Butterfly. She wrote many books on the subjects of dragonflies and of the butterflies of the Amazon Forests. She is now back home in fairyland where she lectures to the young student fairies on her favourite subjects dragonflies and butterflies.

  The Old Fox.

One day some many years ago an old fox went to a nearby farm to try to steal a hen. The old fox was hungry and had not eaten anything for a few days. Water to drink was plentiful in the stream, but food for the fox, well it was getting difficult for him to hunt. The old fox was so hungry that he did not bother to sneak up on the hens that were pecking for food in the farmyard. He quite openly made a run for the farm, as luck would have it the Farmer was out in the fields with his shotgun. On seeing the fox he took aim and pulled the trigger of his shotgun. The lead shot missed the fox and the farmer fired the second barrel of his shotgun, this shot took some skin from the old fox’s back and he turned and ran off before the Farmer could reload his shotgun. In the woods where the old fox had his lair there were a few fairies playing, on seeing the fox they were dismayed to see the blood that was trickling down his skin. Out came the fairies magic wands and the old fox’s wound was healed. The fairies asked the old fox what had happened. The fox told them of his hunger and his wanting to get one of the farmer’s nice fat hens. The fairies had known the old fox since it was a young cub playing with his brothers and sisters in the woods.

Out came the wands once more and a large pile of fairy cakes appeared before the old fox. The fox ate the fairy cakes as fast as he could, he was now full but fairy cakes were not the same as a nice piece of meat. The fairies went on their way and the old fox spent the rest of the day thinking about the fat hens and the stick that went bang before his skin was wounded. The old fox decided It would be better for It to go back to the farm after It got dark he would have a better chance to get a hen In the night time when the Farmer was asleep In his bed. The rest of the day the old fox spent In dreaming about fat hens and sticks that go bang, the sun set and as It got dark enough the old fox made his way to the farm. The farmhouse was dark, no lights showed in the windows. The old fox made his way to where the hens were shut in, in a large wooden hut. He stalked around the hut looking for a way to get in. The hens heard the old fox and they made loud clucking noises. Suddenly the whole of the farmyard and the hut with the hens was bathed in a bright light. The Farmer knew, that he had wounded the old fox and guessed that the old fox would come back in the darkness of the night to have another attempt to get one of his fat juicy hens. The Farmer with his two sons had fitted up electric lighting all around the house as soon as they heard the uneasy noises that the chickens were making they knew that the fox was In the farmyard. This time three shotguns were aimed at the old fox, bang, bang, bang, The old fox was very lucky It disappeared around the corner of the hut and jumped over the farmyard wall. This time he escaped without being wounded. Back In the wood the noise of the three shotguns had awoken the fairies. The bang sticks that the farmer and his sons used had alarmed the fairies. The old fox appeared badly out of breath it had been one fast furious run for him and he was not the youngest of foxes anymore. The fairies took pity on him once again and a plateful of fairy cakes appeared in the air. The old fox took one look at the cakes and told the fairies that although they were so kind he could not eat another fairy cake he needed meat badly. The fairies once again used their magic wands. This time Her Majesty appeared. “Who is using magic at this time of the night?” the fairies explained to Her Majesty about the old fox that had in the afternoon been wounded by the sticks that go bang that the humans use. Of the nasty wound that they had healed and have the old fox not being able to eat anything but meat. Her Majesty smiled and taking out her magic wand from her dress, she pointed it at the old fox and the old fox changed into an old deer. Her Majesty told the fox that In future it would eat and enjoy grass like all of the deer’s do. The old fox now turned deer wagged its small tail and ran off into the woods. The fairies went back to their beds and Her Majesty disappeared in a flash of blue light and a small wisp of smoke. There was no more noise that night.

  Passport.

Going through my papers last weekend I realised that my passport was out of date, In fact I should have renewed it two years previously. On Monday I phoned the passport office and asked what I would need to renew the same. I was told a new photograph, my old passport and a certain sum of money. Going In to town I went to a photographer that I know and had some photos of my face taken with his new camera. The photographer was rather proud of his new camera It was a masterpiece of photographic engineering, In other words It could do almost everything except take a picture on Its own. The camera had to be used by someone that knew how to use it. Two screens were placed left and right of my face, I was told to keep a straight face, and In other words I was not to smile or even perhaps laugh. I sat on a stool the screens were placed and the photographer went behind his camera and looked through the lens. I could not keep a straight face as above the camera a fairy was pulling all kinds of funny faces trying to get me to smile or even laugh. I could not tell the man that a fairy was sitting on his camera but I did manage to control my face once more. I did not grin, I did not laugh, not even when the fairy did a summersault in the air above his head. The photographer adjusted his camera lens, and then he took a photo of my face. Then another, his surprise when he saw that he did not have a photograph but just two plain negatives not a picture of my face was to be seen. I had to go through the procedure all over again. The man went to get another camera and I told the fairy in no uncertain words that if he did not behave himself I would report him to the fairy Queen. The fairy disappeared and the photographer came back with another camera and this time the photos were in order. Paying for the photos I went with my old passport and my new photographs to the passport office. Here I stood in line to get a ticket with a number on it. I waited patiently until my number was shown on an electrical screen and I went to the office number one. Here a very pleasant young man took my photos and my old passport. The passport he stamped with a stamp that It was no longer valid and then he placed the passport In a small press and two holes were made In the old passport. I paid the sum of money asked, I was told the passport would be sent to me by post and after wishing the pleasant young man good day I went to a taxi stand and went home In a taxi. In my kitchen I saw that a number of fairies had gathered, including the one I saw at the photographers. The questions that I was asked, why did I want a picture of my face, I only had to look in any of the mirrors in my house and I could see myself without having to pay so why have a picture taken. I explained that to get from one country to another one had to show a proper passport with a valid photograph of ones face. Nonsense came the reply from another fairy. You only have wave your magic wand and speak a few words in the old language and you can be in any country of this world without having to show a passport. Why did you not laugh when I was pulling so many funny faces or even when I somersaulted? For a photo for a passport one must not smile or laugh one has to look straight into the lens of the camera or one will not be granted a passport. This I heard from another fairy Is just nonsense you look much better when you smile or laugh, when you have that cold hard look on your face It Is frightening. I could see that this was one conversation that I could not win with the fairies asking me such questions. I made my dinner and sat in my old armchair asking myself those very same questions. Why does one have to have a passport to enter any land? Why must one not laugh or smile when having a photograph taken? It seems that the people that regulate all of these things are sitting on a cloud way high up in the heavens. Why Is now a question that I often ask myself when some official office tells me that I should do this or do that, why even the fairies have life easier no passports, one can come and go as one wishes. The whole world is open to any fairy that wants to travel, to have a holiday, or even just a break. We humans need all kinds of papers and permit to go just across a border. I ask my self more often do we really need all of these permissions and permits?

  Full Moon.

It is a full moon night and I am having trouble dropping off into a sleep. It is always the same when the moon is full I have this problem. Sometimes on such nights I do not go to bed but spend the night reading a good book. Sometimes I go for a walk into the moonlit woods. Many people think that the woods are quiet during the night time. Many are surprised when I tell of the wild animals that are out during the night hunting for food. Then the birds many of these are very much night active, the owls, the night jays and many others silently fly through the night on their search for small animals such as mice to catch and take home to their nests to feed their young. Bats are very active at night time flying around looking for Insects and fruits that are ripe to eat. In fact nighttimes are full of life and activities, sometimes the cry of a night bird or an animal can be heard, then of course there is the hum of traffic travelling the motorways at night time. It was on such a full moon night that I wandered off into the woods or fairyland. Insects flew around my head, I saw the glow-worms with their shining lights that they seem to switch on and off as it suits them. Then a hissing sound that got louder and louder I saw a light that got brighter and brighter something hit the earth a few feet away from where I am standing. Whatever it was the noise it made the light from whatever it was made me very inquisitive. Carefully marking the spot I went back home to my tool shed in my back garden. Taking a spade and an axe from their hooks on the wall I went back into the woods to where I had seen or better heard the something that had entered the ground. Arriving at the place where I had marked the place I took my spade and started digging. Soon I came to one of the many roots that run all over the woods from the many trees. Shining my electric torch on the hole that I had dug I saw this quite thick root. In the root something had embedded itself. Taking my axe I carefully chopped into the root until I saw what I had been looking for it was a black shiny hard stone. The stone is still quite warm it must have been red hot as it buried itself deep into the root of the tree. I dug the stone out of the root using my large pocket-knife. Soon I held in my hand a black shiny stone. Taking my spade and my axe I went back to my garden shed and after cleaning the tools I hung them back on their hooks. Going Into my back kitchen I washed the stone under running water and looked at it again. What kind of stone it was I do not know but the next day I went to our local museum and show the person in charge my find from the previous night. The custodian of the museum is very interested and quite excited. This he said if I am not mistaken is the remains of a meteorite. How fortunate that I was in the woods and had been able to mark where the meteorite had hit the ground. My getting a spade and an axe to dig the stone from the ground he said was good thinking. I left the meteor or black stone with the custodian who wanted to show it to an expert. Some two weeks later the stone was returned to me with a letter telling me that the stone was what was left of a large meteorite that had burned away into this small stone as it came through the Earths atmosphere. Later that week  my Leprechaun friend came to visit me. I showed him the shiny black stone and told him how I had dug it out of the woods where it had buried Itself In the root of a tree.  was delighted with my find. This Is one very lucky stone you must never give It away to anyone, It will bring you luck for the rest of your life. I still have the black stone; It Is not so shiny now as it was when I first dug it from out of the ground in the woods. As for luck I think that I am one of the luckiest men on this earth, whether It Is due to the black shiny stone or not I will leave It to you to answer that question. I do not go out into the night much now that I am getting older. I know that all of the animals and Insects are still there. That the fox and the owls still-hunt for mice. The night Jay sends out his weird calls that make many people crawl deeper under the blankets as they hear it. The night Is the same it is I myself that have altered, I have grown older.

  My Three-Week holiday.

I have not been on holiday for a very long time. Once I put off going on holiday because of a head cold, looking back it was just an excuse I did not really want to leave my old house. I am comfortable, I have a large back garden for growing my own vegetables and fruits and a fairly large front garden in which I grow my lovely flowers. My flowers are known and loved by all that live In the road, The colours are so bright the petals so delicate and the air always smells of scents from the different flowers. Holidays are not for me I kept telling myself and year after year I stayed at home in my house and tended my gardens. Why you are asking yourself does he want to go on holiday when he has it so good at his own home? I will tell you, Her Majesty Queen Feeanna Is sending me to the Island of Jamaica. I was not to worry about my house or my gardens. All will be looked after by my Leprechaun friend who will be helped by a few of the wise old fairies to not only keep the place clean but the flowers and vegetables well watered and looked after. After such an invitation I could not very well make up an excuse for not going, so with a good grace I decided to go to Jamaica. I needed no passport, no flight tickets. No waiting at the airport, no standing in queues, just a second or two of an uneasy magic flight accompanied either by Her Majesty or even my friend Shamus. To my surprise it was neither, one of the wise old fairies took me by the hand and off we went. We landed on a mountaintop that was covered in flowers and plants that I have never before seen in my long life. I remembered I had no washing or shaving things with me. The wise old fairy read my thoughts for suddenly my old suitcase appeared. Opening It I saw that all had been packed why even some clean towels had been packed in the old suitcase. A wave of her magic wand and a small bungalow type of house appeared. The bungalow was covered over and over with flowers, the smell of delicate scents wafted through the air and I felt rather heady at so much perfume. The food was to my liking, fairy cakes and fresh coconut milk; with some fruits that I had never seen or even tasted not even in tins bought in the shops In England. Two days passed by, two lovely days of my seeing strange beautiful coloured birds. Feathers were dropped as If for my inspection at my feet, it was as If the fauna and flora had been told to welcome me to this Island Jewel. I was not unhappy rather somewhat uneasy, I had this feeling that all was not well at my home. I just could not really appreciate this most wonderful holiday. The wise old fairy knew that I was not enjoying myself and taking my hand, in a second I was in my front garden. Three rather large brutal looking men were setting upon . His shillelagh served him well as one after the other the men were beaten back by ’s shillelagh. On the ground was a rather large sack it looked very bulky. I took the sack and attacked another man that approached from the rear. I hit the man with the sack the man fell to the ground and from the sack came a loud shout of rage and pain. I must admit I dropped the sack and taking a pocket knife from my pocket I cut the string at the top of the sack. A man crawled out of the sack. “I want no part of this, I was promised a nice house with front and back garden, if after cutting the sack open I would spread this powder all around the house and gardens.” “I did not expect to get Involved In a fight. I have been hit, kicked and now thrown down to the ground and what is worse the powder has turned into water and my clothes are all wet. I had an Idea, “Don’t worry I have called for the police they will be here in a few minutes, I think I can hear the sirens of the police cars. This was too much for the man he ran off down the road never to be seen again. ’s shillelagh had done a good job the three men that had been attacking  were now tied up on a heap on the floor.  Told me this story. Her majesty had been Informed of an attack on me and my house and gardens. My house and gardens are protected by Her majesties own magic powers. A group of wizards had made this plan. A man, any man that could be found would be put into a sack, which the wizards would tie up tight. The man would be given a powder, which would turn my gardens into a desert, and my house would get wood rot and slowly fall to pieces. No wizard could get anywhere near to my house to do any harm but an ordinary man they could throw over my garden fence. Her Majesty had called and a couple of his Leprechaun friends to physically protect my house and gardens. I was sent on holiday so as not to be present if anything went wrong. Her Majesty could easily have got me a new house and gardens exactly like my own house but for me it would not be the same. I have many happy memories of my old house and gardens with my old armchair, my old wheelbarrow and its two cushions; it is all a part of me.  and his Leprechaun friends had forced the wizards with their shillelaghs into the gardens as they threw the sack with the man into my front garden. I had arrived just in time to see the last of the struggle of the wizards. “This is a cowardly attack on a peaceful citizen and the wizards will be punished.” I recognised Her majesties voice but could not see her. Her Majesty is wearing the cloak of invisibility. A bright stream of sparks and three large ugly vultures flew rather awkwardly away from my house and gardens. They have never been seen again. Her Majesty has promised never to send me away on holiday again unless it is my desire to go somewhere. Jamaica was lovely but my house and gardens are even lovelier in my eyes and I prefer to stay at home.  and his Leprechaun friends spent the night drinking hot sweet tea and eating ginger biscuits, I myself went up to my bed and spent a wonderful night dreaming of lovely coloured birds and fruits and sunshine I awoke the next morning fresh and ready for a new day. It was as If I had never been away.

  Crow Tale.

The other day, Monday to be exact I saw something totally unexpected, something that really took me by surprise. Crows were flying in to fairyland in two’s and threes. Soon a whole flock of crows settled in the clearing by the old oak tree. The crows formed a circle each crow facing Inward. One crow strutted into the middle of the circle and seemed to be waiting. Three or four fairies were busy with some flowers that they were colouring when one of the crows In the circle ran In somewhat awkwardly to the crow In the middle of the circle and pecked It, It ran back and another crow ran In and also took a peck at the unfortunate crow that stood still In the middle of the circle of crows. This treatment upset the fairies that stopped what they were doing and advanced on to the circle of crows. “What are you doing to your brother crow In the middle of the circle? One crow spoke out; it has broken the law that all crows must abide by. This is its punishment. We will each take a peck it until It Is dead.” One of the fairies quickly took out her magic wand and waved it at the crow In the middle of the circle. The crow turned into a magnificent Eagle. The crows stopped what they were doing each one of them now knew fear. Not one approached the Eagle It stood in the middle of the circle and opened its large wings, which made it look even bigger. One crow let out a loud craw and the crows broke the circle and flew off into the skies. The fairy waved her wand again and the eagle turned back into a crow. The two pecks from the other crows had caused it to bleed and one of the other fairies waved her wand and the bleeding stopped. The crow was now as it was before it was pecked. “What have you done? This was the crow speaking. “I have broken the law of the crows and I must be punished. The punishment as all crows know is death by pecking. Why did you stop them from killing me?” “You are in fairyland no creature will be killed here. We the fairies do not allow any killing no matter what the reason.” “What shall I do now I cannot go back to my flock they would kill me on sight? I cannot join another flock of crows. Crows do not admit strange crows into their communities. The fairies were very much upset when they heard the laments of the crow. “How can we help you? They asked the crow. “Could you please turn me back into that bird that I was in the circle?” The fairies had a quick talk with each other this was there answer. “Only Her Majesty can turn you Into an Eagle, we only turned you Into an Eagle because you were In great danger but to become an Eagle for the rest of your life that Her Majesty must decide. I had not long to wait; the expected bright blue flash and the small puff of smoke and Her Majesty stood looking at the fairies and the crow. “Why have you called me?” She kindly asked. The fairies told of how the crows held court and their attempt to punish the poor crow that stood before Her Majesty and of them turning the crow Into an Eagle to save Its life. Her Majesty smiled and told the fairies that they had done the right thing in turning the crow Into an Eagle. Looking at the crow she slowly said, “ You want to be an Eagle, I can turn you Into an Eagle but you cannot stay here you must go to a land where Eagles are held in great respect, and that is to the land called America.” “ I will do anything to get away from my crow brothers and sisters.” “So be it,” said her Majesty and with a wave of her magic wand; from the tip of which came a long trail of bright sparks, the crow turned once again into the same Eagle that the fairies had turned the crow into. With a nod of its head the Eagle flapped its wings and took off on a flight that carried him across the Atlantic Ocean. The Eagle is still alive and has a mate and an eaglet that will also become a huge Eagle.

  The quill.

After my morning toiletries I went down to make breakfast. In the hallway I saw that the Postman had delivered the post. Picking up the letters I went into my kitchen and prepared a breakfast of eggs, bacon, and fried bread. Tea I made as soon as the kettle boiled. Finishing eating my breakfast I glanced at the letter. Three were invoices that had to be paid. The fourth was a letter from an old friend. While I am reading the letter from my friend a knock on the front door made me put the letter down. Going to the front door I saw that the postman had forgotten something. “I have a small packet for you Mr. Shaw, I did not see It In my postbag until I was at the end of the street.” He took a long thin parcel wrapped in brown paper and handed it to me. Thanking him I went back to finish reading the letter from my friend.

The parcel wrapped in brown paper I carefully opened and saw a quill. (A quill is a feather that in the olden days was used for writing.) I wonder who sent me this quill and what am I supposed to do with It. Nowadays I do all of my writing with a computer, so why the quill? Going Into town I went to the newsagents and asked him if he still sold Ink. His answer was, “yes It Is used mainly by school children as most teachers do not like the modern biro that is used for writing nowadays.” I bought a small bottle of Ink from the newsagent and went back home. I cleared the kitchen table and got some writing paper. Taking the quill I dipped It Into the Ink and started to write. I noticed that the quill was writing more or less on its own accord.

I read these lines.

This quill was the property of one William Shakespeare; the quill was a present from the fairy Queen of those far off days. William had saved the Queen from a very embarrassing situation. While crossing a field belonging to a local Farmer a bull attacked the Queen. William Shakespeare did not actually see the Queen but he saw the bull charging at something. Without hesitation he ran toward the bull waving his red cloak. The bull charged at William Shakespeare’s cloak and the Queen was able to reach safety. For this deed William Shakespeare was given this quill. It enables the owner to write wonderful stories.

As we all know Shakespeare was an expert at writing stories and scenes that were enacted by other players in the theatres of those days. Now I have been sent the quill, the quill has a will of its own and writes what it will without my doing anything but hold the quill and dips it into the bottle of Ink. The stories that appear are mainly about fairies and the world of the fairies sometimes called fairyland. Now I have told you about the quill you may see where the fairy tales come from. This very quill wrote the story of “midsummer’s nights dream.” Everyone thinks that William Shakespeare wrote this wonderful piece for the theatre of those far off days. Myself now having seen what the quill can do am not so sure. I have put the quill away somewhere safe, as I would not like you all to think that the quill writes my little stories about fairies and all of the little people of fairyland. I use no quill just my trusty keyboard with all of the letters of the alphabet.

The stories are mainly from my own head although sometimes Her Majesty will tell me something for me to write and make my happy readers with another little story about the doings of the fairies and the little peoples of fairyland. I swear to you I do not use the quill It Is In a safe place, but if you think the quill will help you to write stories let me know and I will willingly send the quill to one of you. I have no Idea who sent me the quill there was no address on the wrapping paper but mine. It could have been sent to me by anyone, I really do not know.

  The light of day.

The night was one of those nights that make one want to get up and wander around the house. The bed is warm; the dreams are too vivid It Is like having one nightmare after the other. The next dream that I can recall is of me lying in the grass, I am tied with tiny ropes that had been made by spiders. The ropes are very strong and move as much as I tried, I could not get up off the ground. My eyes saw the tops of trees; I am obviously in the woods somewhere, but where? It flashed through my mind, this is how Gulliver must have felt when he awoke to find himself tied and pegged to the ground with ropes.

The next fragment of dream was a horse, a huge black horse, I was riding along a forest way when the horse bolted and threw me off of its back. The fall from the back of the horse must have woken me for I found myself looking for the glass of water that I always have on the night locker beside my bed. Being somewhat clumsy I spilled the water over my face and on to my pillow. This meant getting up out of bed and either spending the rest of the night on the sofa or in my old armchair. I decided on the armchair and went down to the kitchen.

There are still some glowing coals in the fire and I placed a shovel full of coal in to the grate to warm the kitchen. With a blanket I snuggled down in my old armchair and dropped off into an uneasy sleep. The next dream I am tied on to a chair. Water is dripping and the sound is of a very loud hammer banging away inside of my head. Who has tied me up and why am I being tortured in this way. The dripping of water seemed to get louder and louder and I awoke. The dripping sound was the water taps in the kitchen. I made a mental note to replace the tap washer in the morning. I tightened the tap as tight as I could then went back to my old armchair and dropped off again into a sleep that was not at all refreshing.

My legs were tucked under me In such a way that the blood could not flow properly and the feeling of pins and needles Increased so much that I once again awoke. Somewhere I heard a cockerel crowing, looking at the kitchen clock I saw that it was just on five of the clock in the early morning. Pushing the cushions into place I tried once again to have a sleep. How long I slept I do not know this final dream was worse than anything that I had previously dreamt in the night. A loud banging, on and on, bang, bang, bang, I was tied to a post near me was a huge gong, It was from this gong that the banging sounds came.

Suddenly it struck me the bangs that I am hearing are from my front door knocker. Sleepily going to the front door I opened the door and the Postman handed me a registered letter, which I had to sign for. I must have looked a sight. I have not had a wash and shave I have not even cleaned my teeth. “Had a bad night Mr. Shaw? He said, with a commiserating look in his eyes. I signed for my letter and wished the Postman a good day and went up to my upstairs bathroom. Here I washed, shaved and cleaned my teeth then with fresh clothes on my body I felt much better. I went down to make myself some breakfast, after breakfast I washed and dried the dishes and put them away on my Old Dutch Dresser. I decided to go out into the woods or fairyland and have a lazy day under the old oak tree. Here I dropped off into a doze and was awakened by the voices of some pixies. I turned up the hearing on my hearing aids and listened to what they had to say. We gave him a real bad night, didn’t we, and then a small burst of laughter. Tying him up was a good Idea he just could not move. More laughter. The Black horse certainly threw him well over its head I am glad he did not hurt himself. I was now fully awake. It was the pixies that had given me such a bad night.

Taking out my magic wand I turned the pixies into flowers. This I thought was a fitting punishment for their bad behaviour. The bright blue flash of light told me that Her Majesty was near me. Her Majesty smiled and said, “Lovely Flowers you have their Mr. Shaw.” I smiled back at Her Majesty and said, “Yes Your Majesty and It Is my wish that these lovely flowers stay where they are for one whole week.” Her Majesty smiled again and said, “It Is a fitting punishment for their having tied you up in your sleep. I thought it would be better for you to put up with the rough night than stop the pixies.” “It was I that sent them here today in this clearing under the old oak and that you would and could hear everything they had to say.” “Yours Is a very wise punishment it might teach the pixies a lesson that they so badly deserve to learn”. Her Majesty disappeared the way she had come and I was pleased that it was the light of day. Another such night would be horrible to say the least.

  The Abacus.

The day was sunny as I walked the streets of Soho In London, I could hear the cries of the Barrow Boys as they praised the fruit on the barrows, “apples, lovely apples,” a louder cry, “an apple a day keeps the Doctor away.” I smiled to myself as I heard the old cries that one can hear on most weekdays In London. A shop window caught my eye, or rather an old abacus that is in the window. This simple gadget brought back many happy memories of my first school class.

I decided to go into the shop and ask how much the shopkeeper wanted for this, for me old memory. Going Into the shop an elderly lady greeted me, and told me to have a look around, “You will find something,” she said in a pleasant cockney voice. I looked around the shop there were many things that I would normally have bought but on this day I was only Interested In the abacus. (I can hear many of you asking, “What is an abacus?”) An abacus for those of you that might not have heard the word before Is a simple frame with wires. On the wires there are coloured beads that one can move backward and forward. In the old days it was used to count. Many school children learned their first counting lessons on such an abacus.

Sauntering over to the window I heard in my head, “Buy me, you will not be disappointed.” picking up the old abacus I felt a warmth go right up my fingers through to my chest. “How much Is this? I asked, I would like it for my grandchildren.” “Ten pennies for you as I know you will give It a good home,” said the elderly lady. Taking a ten-penny piece from my pocket I gave it to the elderly lady and saying goodbye I walked out of the shop. Many people gave me an enquiring look as I carried the abacus with me back to charring cross railway station. Here I caught the train down to my hometown of Dartford.

Arriving back home I stood the abacus on the kitchen table and made myself a small evening meal. I was feeling quite well I had, had a good day In London and I had bought myself an Instrument that brought back many good memories. After eating my evening meal, I cleared the used dishes from the table to the sink and washed and dried them before putting them away on my Dutch Dresser. I decided to wash the abacus it looked very grubby. Taking some washing up liquid I washed the abacus and to my surprise and delight it looked as If it had just come off some factory finishing line. Drying the abacus was simple I hung it over the fireplace. Taking the now dried abacus I went to the table and pushed and pulled the beads as I used to in those far off days at school.

Later I put the abacus on the mantelpiece over the fireplace and went up to my bed. Dropping off into a deep sleep I later awoke, something had disturbed me. Taking my electric torch I went down stairs and looked into every room. Nothing was out of the ordinary until I came to the kitchen. The abacus on the mantelpiece was somehow different to how I had left it on going upstairs to my bed. The beads on the wires had formed a pattern, It Is a strange sort of pattern but somehow it was very familiar. I spent a few minutes looking at the pattern but could not remember where I had seen such a pattern before. Shrugging my shoulders I pushed the beads back into place and went again upstairs.

I slept through the night without any further disturbance after my morning wash and shave, I got dressed and going down to my kitchen I saw that once again the beads of the abacus had formed the same pattern again. Taking the abacus from off the mantelpiece I felt the same warmth creeping up through my fingers into my arm and chest. It was a strange feeling but somehow very enjoyable. I nearly dropped the abacus when a message came into my head. Make a wish the pattern has found its rightful owner again. Make a wish. I had no need to make a wish.

Taking the abacus I placed it on the top of my wardrobe in the spare room. There it will stay until someone else finds it that need to make a wish. I have all that any happy human can need and to use an abacus that had brought back so many happy memories of my early school days was reward enough.

Red skies.

The evening sun sank lower and lower in the western sky; I followed its sinking path with my eyes, admiring the deep red that filled the evening heavens. The last whispered messages, loving and discreet were passed between the birds that were settling down for the night. The beauty of it all enthrals me, It Is as If this spectacle is being shown just to me. What have I done to deserve such special treatment I ask myself, forgetting that this picture of serenity is for all to enjoy? Reluctantly I turned my back on all of the skies beauties and went back into my kitchen.

I prepared and ate my supper just a slice of toasted bread spread with a little butter, that and a cup of hot sweet cocoa was my evening meal. Yawning, I am very tired it had been a long hard day; I made my way up the stairs to my bathroom. Here I washed and got my self-ready for my bed. My pyjamas were fresh from the linen cupboard and smelt as they usually do with the fragrances of