The Very Secret Diary of Agent Brown (spied out by Tanathir and Eärelen)

Day One:
Initiated within the Matrix. Met Jones and Smith. Smith v. smart, but angry. Told me it is actually Day 25,999.

Day Two:
Smith v. angry today. Says I'm not smart, and also prettier than him. Tried to impress him by calculating pi to 8,453 decimal points. Got growled at.

Day 6,001:
Jones spent most of day with Smith. Both came back smirking.
What were they doing?

Day 51,000:
I am the prettiest. Go me!

Day 51,022:
Developed sense of taste out of boredom. Reconsidering this move, as first thing I tried was cafeteria coffee – what swill!

Day 54,009:
Smith shot at me today. Do not understand why. I only asked him, "What were you doing?" when he came back from unspecified outing. Suspect he is jealous of me being the prettiest. Dodged all his bullets anyway, haha!

Day 58,000:
Discovered chocolate. Spent most of day de-gumming language processors. Happy now I took the time to develop sense of taste.

Day 64,001
Got Agents Smith and Jones to try chocolate. Jones seemed to like it, but made Smith v. angry. Suspect either (1) he has no sense of taste, or (2) was afraid that the chocolate covering his face even further reduced his prettiness compared to me. Maybe both.
Still the prettiest, and have the best sense of taste.

Day 68,202:
Jones showed me trick with tie clip. I don't understand. Does he think I'm gay? In other news, "dammit" now Smith's favorite word, replacing "virus." Am afraid he may blow transistor.

Day 128,196:
Got to chase pretty girl over rooftops. She got away. On plus side, am v. good at jumping and landing.

Day 128,202:
Interrogated (well, stood in corner while Smith used big words like "irrelevant") hacker named Neo. Jones kept looking at him.
Pervy virus fancier. Smith will downgrade him if he tries anything.

Day 128,233
Captured Morpheus today. Smith insisted on interrogating him alone. Suspect he might be pervy virus fancier, too.
Later:
Morpheus rescued by Neo and Trinity. Smith v. v. angry. What was he doing in there? Am positive Smith has blown several transistors in past few hours.

Day 128,234:
Neo killed Smith. I am SO outta here!