Hugonuts Guild presents the Battle of Amon Hen / Drool Factor Films

Smith: The stuff of history is indeed woven in the woof. There are pages in history's book which are written on the grand scale. Events so momentous that they dwarf man and time alike. And such is the Battle of Amon Hen, re-enacted for us now by the Hugonuts of the Hugo Weaving Mailing List.

(Cut to a muddy corner of a field. Elveanna stands talking straight to camera. Behind her lurk five more Hugonuts. What did I just say? Five? In fact, there are more than three hundred drooling members of the mailing list)

Smith: (voice over) Elveanna - you organized this reconstruction of the Battle of Amon Hen even before it started - why?

Elveanna: Well we've always been extremely interested in ... uhm, modern drama ... we were of course the first Hugonuts Guild to perform 'Camp On
Mount Doom', and last year we did our extremely popular re-enactment of 'Last Alliance'. So this year we thought we would like to do something in a
lighter vein...

Smith: So you chose the Battle of Amon Hen?

Elveanna: Yep, that's right, we did.

Smith: Well I can see you're all ready to go. So I'll just wish you good luck in your latest venture.

Elveanna: Thank you very much, young man. Would you like to join us?

Smith: What?

Elveanna: Would you like to join us? (Behind her, the Hugonuts begin to cheer)

Smith: Oh, hmmm.... that's not in the script, isn't it?

Elveanna: What script?

Smith: Nevermind. No, thank you. I have to go now and... plan some evil plots or something...

Elveanna: You sure? You don't know what you're going to miss.

Smith: I'm sure.

(She retreats, and joins the other ladies who meanwhile separate into two opposing sides facing each other, each of them armed with a ... can opener?)

Smith: (reverential voice over) Ladies and gentlemen, the World of History is proud to present the premiere of the Hugonuts Guild's re-enactment of
'The Battle of Amon Hen'.

(A whistle blows and Elrond magically appears, fully armed and in battle gear. The two sides set about him with can openers, hair brushes, teddy
bears etc., speeded up 50% just to give it a bit of edge. Cut to Smith in studio.)

Smith: The Battle of Amon Hen. Incidentally, I'm sorry if Elrond did get a little surprised by this, and I apologize for any inconvenience we have
gotten him into...

Random Hugonuts appear behind him, carrying bits and pieces of Elrond's battle armour.

Random Hugonut #1: Now let's hunt some agents!
Random Hugonut #2: Yeah, let's unplug his clothes!

Smith: Dammit!

The End? Maybe! ;-) But I don't think so!