Dragons.

Dragons flying on wings of green,

Coming to greet the Fairy Queen.

Invited they are one and all.

To the Fairies own Annual Ball.

Dragons Large and Dragons small.

All are flying to the Fairy’s Ball.

Families of Dragons have been invited.

Some of whom are most excited.

The Fairy Queen will greet them all.

And welcome them to the Fairy Ball.

Leprechauns are preparing dragon meals.

Pixies will serve the meals on wheels.

There will be hay, clover and shamrocks green.

A most special gift from the Fairy Queen.

The meal will be approved by the Trolls.

All will be dressed as Victorian Dolls.

To dance there will be a Fairy Band,

With Musicians all from Fairyland.

I will be the Master of Ceremonies,

This I know will the Dragons Please.

The party will last the night long,

Entertainers will accompany us with song.

Then punctually at the break of day.

All the Dragons will fly away.

I will go home to my large old house,

There I will tell my story to my Family Mouse.

Then I will go to my four-posted bed.

Where I will lay down my weary old head.

In the morning of the very next day.

This, my new poem will come your way.

There are many tales of dragons to tell.

For I am under the Fairy Queen’s spell.

Blackberries.

Sun is shining down and a warm wind is blowing through the woods at Dartford Heath. Walking through the woods, as I do nearly every day I appreciated such warm weather. The blackberries are ripening, every day they grow bigger and from red to black the ripening stage will be in a few days. I collect the blackberries to make jam for the winter months also for the tasty pies and tarts that I enjoy so much. I was not surprised when I saw a couple of boys picking the fruit although the berries are not quite ripe. I smiled outright when one of the lads offered to sell me a jar of half ripe blackberries. Later I saw the two boys leaving the woods I think that they had eaten too many blackberries that were half ripe and wondered whether they would suffer with a tummy ache.

A few days later I walking through the woods I saw an elderly woman picking the now ripe berries. She had obviously been picking the berries for a couple of hours as she had two baskets full of the ripe fruit. Something about the woman seemed out of place and I decided to keep an eye on her. Then I saw the spiders, she had a dozen or more spiders on silken leashes. These spiders were picking the blackberries for her. Spiders sometimes spin their webs among the blackberry bushes but I have never seen a spider that picked blackberries. Keeping my distance from the woman I watched her for the rest of the day. It is now fairly dark in the woods and the woman had five baskets full of berries. Then taking from one of her large deep pockets some yellow powder she threw the powder over the spiders they immediately turned into fairies. The fairies looked as if they were trying to puzzle out what has been happening to them. I called to the fairies; the woman was now out of site. “What have you been doing all day,” “We have been playing all day long we have no work to do at the moment and the wise old fairies told us to go off to play.” I then asked them if they had seen an elderly woman while they were playing. “Oh yes we saw her she was picking blackberries,” came the answer from the fairies. “Are you working on the morrow,” I then asked. “No tomorrow we may play again,” came the answer. I wished them a good night and went off back to my home.

The following day I was up very early and went into the woods, I know where the fairies love to play the most and it was there that I waited. Soon the excited cries of the fairies reached my ears and I kept a good look out while hiding up in a convenient tree. The elderly woman came along in one hand she held the baskets. When she saw the fairies she crept from bush to bush and from tree to tree until she was in throwing reach of the fairies. From one of her pockets she took some brown powder. This was my chance before she could throw the powder over the fairies; I up in the tree threw my own magic powder on to the woman. The woman dropped her baskets and shrank slowly until she turned into a large black crow. I told the fairies what had happened to them on the yesterday and they were very surprised that the woman could have thrown magic dust over them and turned them into spiders that picked all of the woman’s blackberries for her. The fairies played most of the rest of the day and I watched over them making sure that nothing could happen to them.

I reported the incident to Her Majesty Queen Feeanna, telling her of the elderly woman and the steps I had taken to protect the fairies. Her Majesty thanked me and I made my way home. On my arrival in my Kitchen were five baskets of blackberries waiting for me. I spent the rest of the evening and the following day making jam and baking some blackberry tarts. I took a basket of the tarts with me to Fairyland for the fairies who were delighted at my little treat for them.

A Hospital Tale.

I was admitted into hospital late at night.

My nose was bleeding I looked a sight.

The Doctor examined me they gave me a bed.

I felt quite poorly you know especially my head.

In the morning when I woke up from my sleep,

A Leprechaun spoke to me in melodious voice deep.

You cannot hide from the little people you know.

For we will always follow you wherever you go.

I then saw the fairies sitting on the end of my bed.

Hey you it is time to get up one of them said.

Temperature and blood pressure was taken by a Nurse,

You look a lot better now it could have been worse.

The syringes they found and put them to good use,

Everywhere they squirted my fresh orange juice.

A Doctor came into the room a quick examination,

He smiled and looked at me with warm approbation.

The fairies were playing with his stethoscope,

Could he deal with all of them could he cope?

He did not see them flying happily around his face.

I told them softly that they were all a disgrace.

Fairies should behave in a hospital room,

From the ceiling light one of them did zoom.

The Fairy Queen came and shooshed them away,

You can all of you come back on some other day.

He needs peace and quiet, as he is quite ill.

It is also time for him to take another pill.

Now the fairies have left me on my own,

My how the time has so quickly flown.

Alone.

It has been a long lonely week. No one has been to see me it is as if the Fairies have forgotten me. I decided to go for a walk in the woods to see if anyone that I know is about. I walked slowly to the woods but could see no one it is all very mysterious. Fairies usually come to greet me when I go in the woods but I was alone. I looked for Fairy rings not a toadstool was to be seen not a sign that Fairies had gathered here to dance and sing. I wondered what had happened to make them leave this their most treasured part of Dartford Heath. It was a complete mystery. No Fairies, no Elves, no Pixies not even a wandering Leprechaun to greet me as I strolled through the woods. I decided to go back home and wait to see whether a message would come.

Three days later a robin flew in through my open window in its beak it held a small piece of parchment. I took the parchment and gave the robin some bead crumbs that I had dipped in the bacon fat from my breakfast. The bird ate the crumbs and flew off. I read the message. (Your house is being watched by a strange man, please be careful) This message was from Queen Feeana, Queen of all the Fairies. I was now very curious and at the same time relieved the Fairies were well and that is all that matters. I got up in the middle of the night and went to a place on the Heath where I had a good view of all that approached my house. Sure enough at seven o’clock a man dressed in black clothing carrying some high-powered binoculars took up a position where he could overlook my house.

I left my hiding place and walked quietly to where the man was standing half hidden behind a tree. I spoke to him saying that it is a good time to spot the warblers that abound on Dartford Heath. I wanted him to think that I was a bird watcher and that he was too was just watching birds, As he heard my voice he became very nervous, Taking my camera from my pocket I photographed the man and after another pleasantry or two I left him and made my way back to my house approaching it from the back. I now had a photograph of the man and could make a few enquiries in town. I showed the photo in the shops where I do my shopping but no one knew the man he was a complete stranger in the town. Once again, I called in a friendly robin and asked him to show the photo to Her Majesty Queen Feeana.

Her Majesty appeared in my sitting room in her usual way a small puff of smoke and a light blue flash. In her hand, Her Majesty held the photo that I had sent with the robin. “ You were right in sending this photo to me, the man is a well known Sorcerer and is up to no good,” she said. “ He has tried to harm the Fairies before a long time ago and is going to use you to get at us in some way or another,” I will be ready for him,” I told Her Majesty. “I have brought with me a small bag of peas they are so hard that even soaking them in water will not soften them.” “I want you to try to get him to eat one or more of the peas.”  As soon as he swallows one of the peas it will swell in his belly and he will be unable to do any of his magic here in Fairyland.

The next day putting the peas in my pocket, I strolled into the woods with my binoculars and looked for the Sorcerer. I soon found him he was watching my house. My cheery Good Morning made him jump. “I see that you are still watching the birds.” I said. “Yes he replied I am still watching.” “I use a little trick myself I throw some peas on the ground the birds always fall for this trick and I can watch them at my ease.” I said Saying this I took the bag of dried peas from my pocket and threw a few onto the ground. “Would you like some?” I innocently asked. “Yes please.” Came the answer. I gave him a handful of peas and watched as he scattered some on the ground. I put one of the peas in my mouth and pretended to eat it. The Sorcerer absentmindedly put a pea in his mouth and swallowed it. His belly grew and grew. I felt sorry for him but I trusted Her Majesty who at that moment appeared on the scene.” “You are up to your old tricks again Mordekew” she said. Trying to harm the Fairies by using a human,” This must end at once. The pea will only go back to its normal size when you have helped a fairy that needs help.” “Until then you will wander the world as you are with your belly aching and bloated out of all size.”  It was then that I had this idea.” “Your Majesty the Sorcerer was so interested in my house, would it not be a good idea for him to paint it from top to bottom?”  “ So be it,” said Her Majesty.

I took the Sorcerer Mordekew home, got out my longest ladder, and placed it up to the roof. “Climb the ladder and paint,” I said. I watched him with his bloated belly climbing the ladder and left him to it. I made myself some lunch and offered the Sorcerer some of it but he just groaned. It took him three whole weeks to repaint my house. Doors, windows and it looked very smart when he had finished. As he painted the last piece of the front door his belly started to get smaller and smaller until he was of a normal size. I gave him some fresh clothes his own were in a terrible state with paint all over them. Then I insisted that he ate a meal before he went on his way. What I did not know was that Her Majesty had taken all his magical powers away and he was n longer a Sorcerer. As soon as he left my house, the Fairies came back and visited me as they had done in the past. I never saw the Sorcerer again and he has not been heard of since.

An Extra Room.

I have had to build on a large new room to my old house.

The house was getting too small for me and family mouse.

What with the leprechauns, Pixies and Trolls that come to stay.

My old house is open to all that happen to come my way.

I just want one room all to myself where I can be just me.

A place where I can sit and enjoy my many cups of tea.

The leprechauns built the solid walls of stone and brick,

It gave them all something to do which was quite a trick.

I have big windows all made with much coloured glass.

The door handles are of brightly polished old brass.

In my new room I have placed an armchair comfy and new.

Also a brown leather settee, which is for some one like you.

You are all most cordially invited to my large old house.

Mind you, you must be extra nice to my family mouse.

If you are lucky the fairies will be waiting in the hall for you.

Into my new room they will quickly usher you all through.

Do not be surprised at the tricks they might on you play.

It is something they do to people nearly every long day.

If they should invite you to play with them in my upstairs attic.

The person in charge is my friend an old Bear quite rheumatic.

The fairies love to play with water I must warn you visitors all.

Sometimes it is better to suggest that you all play with a ball.

On very special occasions a young Dragon will pop on by.

He might even offer you the chance with him in the sky to fly.

When you come please make sure no one is following you.

Look out for witches that are dressed in the darkest of blue.

When you all come I promise you all a very good time.

Even better than what you might see in this my poor rhyme.

All may drink of my fresh brewed beer and eat sausage rolls.

You may even get to dance with one of my fairly ugly Trolls.

I will expect you all on any bright day of this coming week.

For I happen to know that the sweet fairies you all seek.

Bogies.

The smell was getting more and more intense. Apart from the bad smell, ones nose was irritated and started to run as if one had a bad cold. I Looked everywhere in the house but neither upstairs nor downstairs was any thing to be found that might be the cause of the smell. What is more it seemed to be getting worse by the hour. I have opened all of the doors and windows but the smell persists. I went for a long walk to clear my head. The clean fresh air was wonderful and cleared my nose. Here outdoors the air was fresh with the smells of flowers.

This I thought to myself is silly there must be something causing my house to smell so badly. I slowly made my way home and as I entered the back door there was no smell at all to be smelt just the ordinary smell of polish and soaps that I use to clean the house. This is indeed a mystery. I went once again all over the house looking and smelling for something bad. There was nothing behind the cupboards, nothing under the stairs, in fact nothing out of the ordinary in the whole house.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully and I went back to my normal routine. I made my dinner looking carefully in the larder and the refrigerator to see if something or another had gone bad. There was nothing in the house to cause a bad smell. I even went to my toilets and made sure they were extra clean by disinfecting them. I usually disinfect the toilets twice a week but could find nothing out of the ordinary.

The day went round as it always does, I made and eat my tea and for supper I had a cup of cocoa and after washing the dishes I went up to my bed. The next morning I awoke to an even worse smell. I got out of my bed and threw the windows open wide. All of the upstairs windows and doors I opened, then I went down stairs and opened all the downstairs windows and doors. I then pulled on my jacket and went down into town to have some breakfast at a small cafe. I could not stay and eat in the smell in my own house.

I went back home after eating a meal in another restaurant, I was not very hungry but it was now midday and I had to eat something. When I arrived back home, all was well there was nothing to be smelt except for the polish and soaps and disinfectant that I use. I decided to go to Her Majesty Queen Feeana and get her advice. My house as I have told you in one of my previous stories is protected by magic against attack from Wizards and Witches. It was time I thought to see what Her Majesty could do in the way of help; I could not get up everyday and have to escape the smells not in my own house.

Going into the woods I asked an Owl to take a message to Her Majesty for me. He was to say it was urgent. I did not want to wake up to another smelly house it was terrible. Her Majesty came in her usual way, a blue flash, a puff of smoke and she stood before me in all of her loveliness. “ You are terribly worried about something,” were her first words. I told Her Majesty about the terrible smells coming from my house in the morning when I awoke from my sleep.

Her Majesty Queen Feeanna looked in her famous magic mirror but there was nothing to be seen. No Witches, No Wizards, no one. “This is strange,” said Her Majesty. There is only one thing to do and that is for me to stay the night at your house and see for myself what is the cause of the smells. Taking my hand we both landed in my back kitchen. Her Majesty smelled and sniffed the air but there was nothing but the ordinary smells of a house that is lived in.

I made tea and a small meal and we went into the parlour to eat. After all I could not expect Her Majesty to eat in my kitchen, clean as it always is. After our meal I washed the dishes and put them away and Her Majesty and I made ourselves comfortable in the parlour. It was exactly four o’clock when I smelt the first smells coming. Her Majesty was wide-awake and had too noticed the smells and that something was not in order.

Taking out her Magic Wand Her Majesty spoke a few words in the Fairy language and then they appeared. About a hundred small beings that her Majesty said were Bogies appeared they were in every room and each had a small pot that was steaming over and from the pots came the smells. Another wave of the wand and all of the bogies stood still. The pots they were carrying stopped steaming and the smells quickly vanished. One of the Bogies Her Majesty released from his spell and he quickly told us this story.

An Author that too wrote about Fairies was jealous of my abilities to write down that which I saw and lived through. He had for years kept Bogies more or less as slaves and he made them do all kinds of things against anyone that he did not like. Her Majesty then freed all of the Bogies and told them to go and find themselves a new home. Nothing would happen to them. Soon all of the Bogies had disappeared and the Author that is jealous of my Fairy stories now has writers block and cannot write a thing and will not be able to until a whole year has gone past.

My house is now once again liveable and what is more I have Bogie protection. One of the Bogies has come to live in my house and appears and disappears whenever he feels like it. What is more the Bogie likes cleaning and now my house is extra clean and tidy. No bad smells for over a year now so all is well in the house of Shaw.

Enchanted Evening.

The Fairies are now dancing their age-old dance,

Holding the world in a most exciting of trance.

I am fascinated as I watch their movements live.

All very similar you know to a most modern jive.

With occasionally a slight tremor of their wings,

Fairies are the most beautiful of all enchanted things.

I am enthralled at the rhythm of their moves of grace.

Very taken in with sweet clothes of gossamer lace.

Various colours of such delicacies surrounding all,

With music to make one’s secret hopes beat tall.

An evening like this, a midsummer’s night dream,

I as a willing spectator this is for me so supreme.

I would not change my place at this Fairy dance.

It is as though my very being is in a deep trance.

My feet are rooted to the forest’s floor of green.

I cannot move until I have seen the Fairy Queen.

A pleasant night like this I wish to you one and all.

One just has to listen for that ancient Fairy call.

A Fleeting Shadow.

Do you have problems with your computer? When I start my computer all is well until I use the Windows Word Program. A fleeting shadow crosses my screen and it is nearly impossible to write. My fingers seem to work of their own accord. I hit two keys instead of one sometimes three. Sentences get jumbled; I have to correct stupid mistakes such as miss-spelt words. Sometimes I type a letter and it does not appear on the screen, how am I to write fairy tales with all of this happening to me? Now the fleeting shadow has got into my email and when I write in answer to an email that I have received, the spelling mistakes and the repeated letters sometimes drive me into despair. I have had the computer mechanic here to look into the computer and apart from a little dust all is well. The chip or CPU is working well. There are no problems with the memory banks; my keyboard is new so there should be no problems from this side. I do not drink alcohol while I am working on the computer and I have asked a friend to come and see me, his name is Shamus, you might remember Shamus from some of my other little tales. Shamus can get right into the computer and use it to travel by the electric current from one computer to another. He can also do the same with television sets. Shamus I know will get into my computer and see what it all means. The fleeting shadow I am sure will go away when Shamus gets on to him.

Shamus arrived this evening and I am very pleased to see him. “What seems to be the problem?” he asked me. I was expecting Shamus and had made a strong cup of sweet tea and gave him a plate filled with his favourite biscuits, Ginger Snaps. “ Drink your tea and eat your biscuits and I will tell you what is wrong while you eat and drink,” I said. Shamus ate the biscuits and drunk his tea and I explained the strange goings on with my computer and the fleeting shadow that went across my screen. I also told him about my writing problems and about the email mistakes and the writing errors when I tried to write my fairy-tales. Shamus had now finished his tea and the biscuits and asked me switch on my computer and the screen. Just to make sure I also switched on the printer.

Shamus took his shillelagh that is a form of cudgel used for defending oneself and just vanished into the screen. Then I saw the fleeting shadow it hushed along the screen with to my surprise, Shamus chasing it. I watched for a while and then left Shamus to the computer, the screen, and the printer, while I went upstairs to my bed. I knew that Shamus did not need my help; he was quite capable with his shillelagh to deal with the fleeting shadow. The following morning I awoke in my big double bed and looked lazily at the alarm clock, I had another minute for it to off with its mechanical noisy tinny ringing. Stretching my hand I hit the little knob on top of the alarm clock and got up. Washing, shaving and dressing took me a little longer this morning, I do not know why but I had something on my mind and did not know what it was. Going downstairs I went into my computer room and wondered for a minute why I had left the computer and the screen switched on. Then I noticed that the printer was also switched on. I remembered Shamus and it all came back to me. Shamus is still in the computer and had knowing Shamus many difficulties to face. I quickly brewed up a pot of tea, made a full English breakfast of sausages and eggs, bacon, fried bread, and wondered whether Shamus could smell the cooked breakfast while he was in the computer. Then it happened Shamus swinging his shillelagh stepped out of the screen and said he will bother you no more. My shillelagh and I gave him the fright of his life and the last I saw of him he was running quickly down the electricity wires into the main grid. Where he is now I do not know but he will bother you no more. Shamus and I sat down to a hearty breakfast and enjoyed our sweet tea. After eating our breakfast I told shamus that I would like to send off a few emails to see whether it really had been the fleeting shadow or was it my typing that was to blame. What do you know I still make the same mistakes, the hitting of two or sometimes three keys are due to my shaky old hands, it is a mixture of old age and Parkinson’s disease, that make the mistakes, the fleeting shadow had nothing whatever to do with my problems. I am glad that the shadow has gone it was a very ghostly thing to have wandering over my computer screen. Bern, your storyteller.

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