A Hospital Tale.
I was admitted into hospital late at night.
My nose was bleeding I looked a sight.
The Doctor examined me they gave me a bed.
I felt quite poorly you know especially my head.
In the morning when I woke up from my sleep,
A Leprechaun spoke to me in melodious voice deep.
You cannot hide from the little people you know.
For we will always follow you wherever you go.
I then saw the fairies sitting on the end of my bed.
Hey you it is time to get up one of them said.
Temperature and blood pressure was taken by a Nurse,
You look a lot better now it could have been worse.
The syringes they found and put them to good use,
Everywhere they squirted my fresh orange juice.
A Doctor came into the room a quick examination,
He smiled and looked at me with warm approbation.
The fairies were playing with his stethoscope,
Could he deal with all of them could he cope?
He did not see them flying happily around his face.
I told them softly that they were all a disgrace.
Fairies should behave in a hospital room,
From the ceiling light one of them did zoom.
The Fairy Queen came and shushed them away,
You can all of you come back on some other day.
He needs peace and quiet, as he is quite ill.
It is also time for him to take another pill.
Now the fairies have left me on my own,
My how the time has so quickly flown.
Blackberry
Jam.
Under my feet the grass felt damp. A covering of dew lay over the floor of the forest. I was out early, as I wanted to get the best of the blackberries before anyone else had the same idea. I go into the forest every year to pick blackberries to take home for jam making. I like jam with my morning toast and here in the woods I knew where the ripest and biggest berries were to be found. I carried an old-fashioned wicker basket on my arm and slowly wandered from blackberry bush to blackberry bush.
The berries were really big and ripe and I soon filled my basket with the luscious fruit. On my way home I took a different route and came to a part of the woods that I had not been to before. Here a slight mist was rising from the floor of the woods and it gave the trees an eerie look, it was as if the trees were rising from out of the mists and were not anchored by their roots, as I knew they were. The mists were I must admit a little uncanny and I thought to myself I would be pleased when I came to a part of the woods that I know.
It was then that I saw the deer not an ordinary brown deer this one was perfectly white. Ah! I thought to myself this must be one of the albino deer that one sometimes hears about. Walking quietly so as not to disturb the deer I saw that she was not alone. Sitting on the ground opposite her was a small man dressed in green. A Leprechaun was sewing what looked like a leather covering. I was now very curious and walked quite openly up to where the pair were. On seeing me the deer gave a start and I thought that she would run off but the Leprechaun said something to the deer and it relaxed and looked at me rather curiously as I approached. The Leprechaun spoke. “ Hello you must be Bern the friend of Shamus, my brother Shamus.” I said that I was indeed a friend of Shamus and asked him what he was doing.
“ I am making a skin for this unfortunate deer. The leather I am using is magic leather from Her Majesty, Queen Feeana, Queen of all the Fairies.” “This deer has been hunted so many times that I felt that something had to be done to protect her from the eyes of the Huntsmen. And with this magic leather she will look like any other deer.”
I watched the friend of Shamus placing one neat stitch after the other in the magic leather. Soon he was finished and placed the leather around the white deer. Being magical the leather pulled itself tight around the head body and legs of the deer. Now she really did look like a normal deer that one sees in the woods every day.
The friend of Shamus gave the deer a pat on its shoulders and the deer bowed its head and ran off into the woods. All I could see as she ran off was the white of her tail that had not been coloured and if one looks carefully one can still see the white of her tail showing where the brown leather did not quite cover her.
I was asked to tell the children this story by Her Majesty to explain why the deer have tails of white. The tale is also for the huntsmen, please do not try to capture an albino deer and put it in a zoo. It too loves the freedom of the woods and fields so let it live in peace the deer and all of the other wild animals.
Andromeda.
The fairies took me to Andromeda in outer space,
They did heartily laugh at the look on my face.
A flash of light my mind went quite blank,
I thought it was just another fairy prank.
We had arrived at a planet quite green,
It was all arranged by the Fairy Queen.
She said she wanted to broaden my mind,
Which I thought was exceptionally kind.
All sorts of weird and wonderful alien creatures I saw,
some flew through the air, others crawled on the floor.
Here too were fairies with magical powers,
I spent with them some most exciting hours.
I was invited to attend the only fairy school,
Where courtesy was taught it was a golden rule.
I was shown magic it was simple and clear,
a hundred new spells that would last me a year.
In Andromeda there is no Fairy Queen to guide,
Just true democracy it was their only pride.
A snap of their fingers no magic wands were used,
Ships appeared and over the oceans we cruised.
It was a long journey of sheer delight,
We cruised both by day and by night.
Then it was time to return to mother Earth,
where I happily listened to the fairies mirth.
Now I am back home in my comfortable old house,
I was heartedly greeted by my large family mouse.
I really look forward to seeing Andromeda again,
Perhaps in the spring when we get all of the rain
Distant
Cousin.
The lights in the village are not burning as bright as they were a little while ago. A mist has come in from the sea and all is bathed in a ghostly dim light. I could feel the drops of moisture gathering on my brow and my hands as I plodded through the night. I was on my way to a distant Cousin that had telephoned me for help. I thought to myself this is no night to be out in, by the time I reach my Cousin I shall be soaked through.
A car passed me by its headlights reflecting back as it hit the mist, it did not stop perhaps the driver had not seen me walking along the side of the road although I was wearing a light coloured coat. Every step I took I became wetter and wetter. This mist I thought could not be normal, mists coming in from the sea are not usual at this time of the year and I kept a good look out for anything out of the ordinary.
I passed the lighted front of a public house and was tempted to go in and order hot grog but I knew if I had gone in to the inviting lights I would have stayed. So I kept on walking. My Cousins house was three miles from my own home and normally I would have walked it in abut a half an hour but tonight what with the mist something seemed to be dragging at me. Each step became a struggle to place one foot before the other.
There was a light on in my Cousin’s house and I was thankful when he answered my knock on the door and let me in out of the weather. My Cousin gave me a towel to wipe my head and my hands and soon I was sipping a strong hot cup of tea well sugared. My Cousin waited until I had finished my tea and then told me this strange story. He was being followed wherever he went. There was no one to be seen and he at first thought that he was imagining things. Then an attempt to burgle his house took place. Someone had tried to break in through the back door but fortunately he had some strong bolts on both front and back door that he pushed into position before going to bed.
I had with me a small piece of the magic mirror that her majesty Queen Feeana had given me. Looking into the mirror I saw that my Cousin’s house contained a book that was badly wanted by a practising Wizard. This book held knowledge of herbs that could be used to make things disappear. My Cousin had found the book at one of the old bookshops that he haunted he was an avid reader and could always be found in or near such bookshops.
I asked my Cousin where he kept his books on herbs I thought perhaps I could see what the Wizard was after. My Cousin had a bookcase mounted on the wall of his living room. I looked at the books and saw nothing out of the ordinary. A couple of the books were standing out a little in front of the others and I took them out of the bookcase and there on the back wall of the bookcase was a book it was very old and its covers were of leather. I took out the book glancing through it I saw that it was written in Latin. My knowledge of Latin is not very good and I asked him if I could take the book with me.
My Cousin had got the guest room ready for me and after checking both the back and the front door we went upstairs to bed. In the morning my Cousin told me that he had slept well for the first time in a month. We ate a good breakfast and I left with the book to go home to my house. The mist had cleared and after a brisk walk I arrived at my own home. Taking the book with me I went into the woods to ask the Fairy Queen Feeana what she knew about the book and why it was so important to a Wizard.
Going into the woods I asked a robin to take a message for me to the Queen. The robin flew off and soon Her Majesty was with me. I told her about my Cousin and the fact that he was being followed and the attempt to break into his house. I gave Her Majesty the book on herbs written in Latin. Her Majesty was very impressed with the book and after reading one or two of the herbal remedies she called the wise old fairies and gave them the book to read.
The wise old Fairies recognised the book that had been written seventeen hundred years ago by a Monk that kept an herbal garden. The Monk had also experimented with herbs and found some amazing things one could do with them if they were properly used. The wise old Fairies asked if they could translate the book into the old language so that it could be used by the young Fairies in the school. My Cousin had given the book to me and I gave it to the wise old Fairies.
The book is now in the hands of the Fairies and since I took the book from my Cousin he has not been followed anymore. Things have settled down again and the weather is warm and sunny no more mists coming in from the sea. If you find an old book somewhere that is written in Latin ask someone that knows Latin to read it to you there is much wisdom in the old books that has long been lost to the modern world.
Mouse
Babies.
Soon now babies are expected in my old house,
I was told this in confidence by my little mouse.
At first I really did not know what to do,
Then I made them a nest in an old shoe.
I do not know what baby mice eat,
So I bought some corn that was rather sweet.
I thought about sending them to school,
Teach them I could not; I am just an old fool.
It will be pleasant to hear the patter of little feet,
For all mice babies are exceptionally sweet.
When they grow up they will roam my old house,
the children, their mother and my little mouse.
The fairy queen I sent the good news,
it was delivered by a couple of shrews.
Around fairy land the news travelled fast,
the green suited leprechauns heard it last.
Then hooray the great day has arrived,
All is well the babies have survived.
I do not have to worry about my old age,
The mice all roam free none are in a cage.
As I wander around my big old house,
I will always be greeted by a friendly mouse.
Mice are happy creatures you know,
And many is the party that we will throw,
We will invite all of our fairy friends,
And eat and drink and be merry till the party ends.
The pixies
held a football match,
they asked me to be the referee.
Just to help them out of a patch,
I thought that I had to agree.
When I was young I refereed a match or two,
I felt proud of myself on this special day.
For a whistle they gave me an old shoe,
and so we started off the game to play.
The ball was an old tin can,
It was heavily dented in.
For the goals a spider some cobwebs span,
with gossamer threads so thin.
The pixies had rules of their own,
for linesmen a couple of frogs,
Each goal scored was marked with a bone,
that was quickly eaten by some dogs.
I will never referee such a game again,
running is not quite my style,
The pixies nearly drove me insane,
but it did pass the time for a while.
