UTOPIA - the coolest online game ever! The Age Of Wonders - changes already included!

Moved to a new location - updated newbie guide is now at http://utopia.utopiax.org/
please update your links and bookmarks!


Utopia is a free online strategy game, there are approximately 80,000 players from all over the world. If you are new to the game, you will find some useful information here how to start, how to play, and how to find your strategy. It will need some work in the beginning to get things strait - but don't despair! Once you have grasped the concepts of the game, you can concentrate more on the fun aspects - or on the race for a top ranking! New Utopia Strategy Forum Please post your strategies or comment on others'! Experienced players welcome! - Totally cleared out - please post strategies for the next age!

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The TUTT BIBLE
Are you addicted to Utopia?

 

95 x 95 v2

Moved to a new location - updated newbie guide is now at http://utopia.utopiax.org/
please update your links and bookmarks!

Unsure if you are an Utopia-addict?
As mentioned on my newbie guide, the game is highly addictive, and in case you are unsure if you are already addicted or not, here is a list to check for yourself.
The quotes are from the Utopia "Bugs and Suggestions" Forums - there IS some good stuff there sometimes after all!

You cant go on vacation because your explored acres will be barren for too long and the kingdom dwaft might get ahead

You refer to inferiors as "newbies", a room full of these lesser people is refered by you as a "newbie ghetto"

When someone you don't know well asks you for anything you scream "MULTI!!" and tell him if he doesn't defect you'll take his land

Anyone more successfull in life is obviously being fed!

You believe that world hunger could be solved if those idiots would only raze some homes for farms

You yell at little people for picking the wrong race

You've become christian only so you can pray after making big hits

You have an ulcer from sending out too many elites

The solution to your mortgage is a 0/4 def spec

You deprive yourself of good sleep in order to "keep up" in the Utopia Forums.

You spend all your time at work on the computer constantly connected so that you don't miss a beat

You made a clan and called it AA, ALS, PLS, PMS, AAA, NBC or ABC

You post long changes that never make it

You read long changes that never make it

You skipped a few meals to look for that target

You can calculate the OPA of 27436 knights on 2875 acres with all bonuses from fame without calculator

You know how much tax you collect from each peasant

You woke up at 3 a.m. to make that last attack before war was over

You kicked your little sister from her research paper due the next day so you can cast Natures Blessing before your peasants start starving

You have a bed pan next to your computer

You make posts like "10 ways to know you are an Utopia addict"

You decline to have sex with your wife with the excuse "I've already been gangbanged today"

 

Inbetween - from the sorry life of a definite Utopia-addict:

Yesterday I was in the convenience store and didn't have enough for a 12 pack of Pepsi. I wanted to cast ToG, but then I remembered that my mana was below 39% so I didn't bother coz it wouldn't have worked anyway.

I went to the refrigerator last week and didn't have anything in there and wished I'd spent that last 200k on agriculture science instead of sending it to my buddy.

My girlfriend broke up with me coz I wouldn't fight for her, and when she asked me why, I said it's because I'm faerie (combat losses are too great for faeries and the guy was smaller than me so I would have lost a lot of honor). I think she misunderstood.

I wanted to go play some football with my buddies last Sunday, but I didn't have enough runes to cast quick feet.

I skipped a class a few days ago. My instructor saw me the next day and asked if there was anything wrong. I said, "Well your class is 3 Udays long professor, and I haven't stayed up that long since that week I stayed in Bangkok."

Some guy broke into my house a few weeks ago, so the next day, I released some of my beastmasters and raised my tpa to 6.5.

On a test a few days ago, a question asked, "Why did the Germans lose WWII?" I wrote, "Guess they didn't have enough gold to build a dragon."

 

All your pets died cause you wanted to end feeding.

You don't turn up for your exam finals because your troops are due home.

You stay home all day because someone casted storm on you

You find out your wife has left you when her divorce attorney subpoenas you via the Bugs and Suggestions Forums

Your wife leaves you because you lied about your Love (& Peace) going for 15 hours

Your wife wants to bring her twin sister into the bed and you call them gangbanging multies

You think when you cast protection, you don't need a condome

You let Glorat calculate your taxes to see how save you are for theose NRA-thieves

You wake up sunday morning thinking your blurry vision will go away when you cast Clear Sight

You try to seduce a girl by saying she should come take a look at your "hall of honours"

You are trying to raise your networth when you are (land)fat

You try to seduce a girl by saying she should come take a look at your half-giant

You leave your front door open all day because you've casted town watch anyway

You want to know who this guy was that ganbanged you, and buy Net-Detective to find out

There are people who always have a good excuse why they are logged into Utopia or the Utopia Forums for so long - like "I'm getting paid to do it".
And if you spend much time online, you really can get paid for it! Just sign up with a paid-to-surf program like spedia.net.

 

You are playing Utopia because you like Fantasy?

Why not go for the best available - like J.R.R.Tolkiens Lord Of The Rings (yeah, there are orcs in it!),

cover

 

or Mythago Wood - one of the best Fantasy books ever -

cover

 

- and read a book instead of being online?

 

 

 

You prefer reading this stuff instead of having a look at this girl!

 

 

 

Shop here!

Need a present for your girlfriend or wife to say "sorry" cause you have stayed online for too long?

 

 

more fun stuff - not utopia-related

 

Decided to quit Utopia and becoming a bookworm instead: Amazon.com 100 Hot Books

Or too lazy to read and prefer watching movies at home: Amazon.com 100 Hot Videos, Amazon.com 100 Hot DVDs

 

 

Contact: veggie_hp@hotmail.com

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Game Basics How to attack Changes Fun Section Dictionary The Old Ages Strategy Forum Links