The TUTT BIBLE
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the tutt bible
the following events are non-fictional, actual happenings which occured in our kingdom during the era of tutt
- right out from the forums!
| BOOK 1 - The Appearance Of HIM |
| tutt (12:22) February 12th, YR7 I WANT TO BE REGENT SO CHANGE
YOUR VOTE TO TUTT Jultomten (12:22) February 12th, YR7 Ok, I will change it right
away Vegetarian Pacifists (12:22) February 13th, YR7 me too ;-)) Crystalshine (12:22) February 14th, YR7 oh, and i'll be next
will you sign me up for **making*money*fast**? Tasavalta (12:22) February 14th, YR7 Finally! I've been praying
that a strong player would swoop down from the heavens and save
us all from our horrible and unsuccessful ways! All hail tutt! Baram (12:22) February 16th, YR7 Anyone who can press down "Caps
Lock" on the keyboard must make for an excellent regent, is that
it!?! Well, I had better change my vote then... May I be "Brutus"?
"Veni, Vidi, Vici" tutt (12:22) February 16th, YR7 crystalshine i will. Vegetarian Pacifists (12:22) February 16th, YR7 me too! tutt (12:22) February 16th, YR7 thankyou Vassago (12:22) February 17th, YR7 Lol,umm,is this 'tutt' guy
for real,do you get it man?I never understood players who join
a kingdom,in the middle of the round,and say 'Make me regent'.I've
heard 'Make me regent and I'll bring you riches,power,fame,allies,whatever'.Oh,and
the ignorant goofs who demand regency or they'll destroy the whole
kingdom,hahaha!!!What is it with you people?Come on,please,we're
an established kingdom here,regent and all.If you wish to remain,you
won't be regent.If you can't deal with that,then see ya!Oh,and
tutt,I don't need any 'mony'. :) But it worked for Billy Joel,
'Mony,Mony' :) Vassago (12:22) February 17th, YR7 Woops,I mixed up my 80's singers.I
Meant Billy Idol. Arctic Zone (12:22) February 18th, YR7 I'd never change my vote...:)
Baram (12:22) February 18th, YR7 I just might forgive you Lord
Bane ;) |
| BOOK 2 - The Beginning Of The End |
| Tasavalta (12:22) March 21st, YR7 The Province of tutt (12:22)
as of March 21st, YR7. tutt (12:22) March 21st, YR7 not I have more Tasavalta (12:22) March 22nd, YR7 Liar, liar pants on fire! You
have less since you attacked and got attacked. But anyways, jokes
over. We're just playing with you. We always attack our newbies
like this to see how they react. Now we'll start sending you a
ton of aid to rebuild. We have sent 1,000 Jets and 5,500 Tanks
to tutt (12:22). It should arrive shortly! tutt (12:22) March 22nd, YR7 this ist earth 2025 Crystalshine (12:22) March 22nd, YR7 Yes, this ist earth 2025 Tasavalta (12:22) March 22nd, YR7 Who sayst that thist arnt earth? Tasavalta (12:22) March 22nd, YR7 I need mony or my land ist
gonna survive much longer! Attack the guy above (12:22) April 1st, YR7 Yipee! I got the
b@t@rd. Gray Hill Manner (12:22) March 21st, YR7 I have 100K runes for
sale. 1 gc per rune. that is the price. first come first serve
no rune cap. Tasavalta (12:22) March 21st, YR7 I'll buy them all! 100,000gc
on the way! tutt (12:22) March 23rd, YR7 do you have any left Tasavalta (12:22) March 23rd, YR7 Would you like some? ~dangles
a rune in tutt's face~ Beg for it. tutt (12:22) March 23rd, YR7 I'll give 425gc for 400 runes. Tasavalta (12:22) March 23rd, YR7 I said beg. tutt (12:22) March 23rd, YR7 plessssssssssssssssssssssss Arctic Zone (12:22) April 1st, YR7 what a moron!!!! The Mystical Forest (12:22) April 1st, YR7 question... what does
plesssssss(etc) mean? Arctic Zone (12:22) April 2nd, YR7 means he's DEAD! lol |
| BOOK 3 - Fightin' The Gods |
| Tasavalta (12:22) March 21st, YR7 March 21st, YR7 Forces from
tutt (12:22) attempted to attack us, but failed miserably! We
lost 1 Berserker in the struggle. tutt (12:22) March 21st, YR7 haha Tasavalta (12:22) March 21st, YR7 Please M'lord! Show mercy upon
my wretched soul!! Tasavalta (12:22) March 21st, YR7 ~bawls~ You killed Kenny! tutt (12:22) March 21st, YR7 haha Tasavalta (12:22) March 22nd, YR7 March 22nd, YR7 Forces from
tutt (12:22) attempted to attack us, but failed miserably! We
lost nothing in the struggle. Please, everyone, cast your votes
for tutt before he kills me! The Mystical Forest (12:22) April 1st, YR7 haha Arctic Zone (12:22) April 2nd, YR7 haha Vegetarian Pacifists (12:22) April 2nd, YR7 Too bad I missed
the fun, but I have to sleep once in a month ;-) Tasavalta (12:22) February 19th, YR7 I've got 25,000gc to the
person who gets the first hit. I've got 25,000gc to the person
who gets the kill. Place your bids! The person who gets the first
and final hit collects the pot, and it could be you! So let's
show some team spirit as we dance around his electric chair like
wild indians! Rules: No cheating. Don't have your friends hit
him a couple times near the end to bring him to the point of death
and then you jump in and deliver the death blow. Outside attacks
will make this pool null and void. You cannot collect more than
10 times what you put into the pool. So if you cheapskate it with
2,000gc and win then you'll only get 20,000gc. Each pool is different.
Make sure you're specific when bidding on the first and last hit. tutt (12:22) February 20th, YR7 noooooooo pleesssssssssssss Tasavalta (12:22) February 20th, YR7 Looking back I shouldn't
have reported your foul mouthed messages. If they delete you then
we don't have any fun. tutt (12:22) February 20th, YR7 than send a messesg to your self
saying I didnt want to report that messesg. Drakmoore (12:22) February 23rd, YR7 Tutt, it was stupid of you
to try and bribe me into voting against my dawg, Tasavalta. tutt (12:22) February 23rd, YR7 I'm sorry Arctic Zone (12:22) February 24th, YR7 it's too funny!!!! this
guy comes barging in asking to be regent and then is cowering
when faced with a couple guys that don't like him...;) Arctic Zone (12:22) February 24th, YR7 i've got 30K to the man
who kills him...not who attacks him first... Jultomten (12:22) March 1st, YR7 200,000gc to the guy who kills
him 50,000 to the guy who hit him first. Vassago (12:22) March 2nd, YR7 Hey,I have three lashes with a
wet noodle to the guy who's dumbass plays Tutt!Oh,and 50k to the
province who hits him first,and 100k to the province who sends
him to his grave! Crystalshine (12:22) March 10th, YR7 ok... so if I'm sending
1M$, can I win 10? he he he Crystalshine (12:22) March 11th, YR7 oops, sorry, that 500K for
1st, 500k for final sent to T. Zamalgar (12:22) March 16th, YR7 I'm feeling generous today.
250k for first, 250k for last. Vegetarian Pacifists (12:22) March 17th, YR7 Hmm, it seems he
will be out of protection on sunday, and I'm not here on sunday,
so I'm afraid there is not chance for me to make first or last
strike .... So I've donated 100.000 gc to the needy ;-) (Province
of Sweden) Tasavalta (12:22) March 20th, YR7 Is it really Sunday? I think
he got here sometime on Thursday which would make his 72 hours
end on Saturday. I'm upping my bid to 50,000gc to the first and
100,000gc to the last. Gray Hill Manner (12:22) March 21st, YR7 This is interesting.
As interesting as it is I will not be participating in this event
as fun as it seems because my army and money and runes are needed
else where. Tasavalta (12:22) March 21st, YR7 I win! I win! I got the first
hit! ~ahem~ First I would like to thank my friends and family
for making it possible for me to win this prize. And thanks to
tutt who sent his thieves at me to tip me off that he was out
of protection! ~lol~ Whoooo hooooo!! On another note, I just realized
that there's virtually no chance that anyone could get the first
and last hit unless they keep a general at home after their first
hits on him and wait until they can get that last hit. Not like
tutt would've survived long enough for anyone's generals to return.
(And stupid me sent out all my generals in my excitement.) Tasavalta (12:22) March 22nd, YR7 I kind of screwed myself by
only bidding 50,000gc. 10 x that amount is only 500,000gc. =(
So now I've gotta figure out how much I get from each person.
Anyone here have some math homework they need to brush up on?
:) Vegetarian Pacifists (12:22) April 2nd, YR7 I'm not very good
in mathematics. You can see it above. I even miscalculated the
time when he comes out of protection. But it was no time for any
European, anyway. Barams second name is Einstein, so if you need
help with the maths, call him ;-) |
| BOOK 4 - The End |
| Arctic Zone (12:22) April 2nd, YR7 I killed him!!!!!!! but
too tired to do math...just send me what you think i deserve and
we'll call it even...;) (not too much) if you don't have money,
i'll except anyother payment type... tutt (12:22) March 23rd, YR7 TASAVALTA sied to change your vote
to tutt before I kill him. If you dont believe me look at HEEEEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!!!!!!
Tasavalta (12:22) March 23rd, YR7 It's true! Vote for him quickly
before he kills yet another one of my Berserkers! Vegetarian Pacifists (12:22) April 2nd, YR7 ROFL. We shouldn't
have killed him!! We should have elected him for regent for a
few days just to have fun. This guy is the Jim Carrey of Utopia!! Tasavalta (12:22) April 11th, YR7 On April 10th, YR7, a note
arrived from Sir king tutt of hutt (34:14) of Dawn of Babylon
14A (#34:14) (Nen (#14)). Hi Im the old tutt Tasavalta (12:22) April 11th, YR7 I told his new regent the story
we had with him. They'll probably kill him once he's out of protection
as well. Jultomten (12:22) April 12th, YR7 *LOL* times 10 What a pain
in the ass...although I'm almost starting to like this guy. He
acts as if his IQ is below 5. Drakmoore (12:22) April 13th, YR7 Damn....How stupid can you
get?? Why the hell would he even message you after all that??? Jultomten (12:22) April 15th, YR7 Cartman: That's what I said!
Vassago (12:22) April 20th, YR7 Giiive me cheesy poofs!Get in
the kitchen and make me some piiie!I'm not fat,I'm big boned!
He's proven that the world is really going to hell in a hand bag
with people like that running around.I hope he's not that dense
in real life! |
| Appendix - Enlightenment and ... The 10 Commitments of Tutt |
| (years later) Tasavaltan Trickster (22:30) June 21st, YR5 ~Bartender walks towards Lady Vanadis - Where is Loki ? - He is in Sunday school - What is he doing there ? - He is taking classes for Reverent Don Carlos de Veggie, studying the THE TUTT BIBLE. ~The bartender sits down and take zip of Vanadis beer and look up in the roof~ - It is good that our Regent, who never met Tutt, honoured he be, is religious. ~Vanadis wiping off a tear in her eye~ - Halleluja Oh yes. Tutt, honoured he be, got crucified for our sins so that we all can get absolution when Ragnarök comes. -Do you remember the 10 Committments Vanadis ? -Hmm Lets see. The first is THOU SHALL NOT HAVE ANY OTHER GOD THAN TUTT AND TUTT IS HIS PROFET The second is THOU SHALL NOT HAVE ANY OTHER REGENT THAN TUTT OR HIS INCARNATION The third is THOU SHALL NEVER KILL TUTT OR HIS INCARNATION The fourth is THOU SHALL ALWAYS HONOUR TUTTS MOTHER AND TUTTS FATHER The fifth is THOU SHALL ALWAYS VOTE TUTT FOR REGENT WHETHER HE IS PRESENT IN PHYSICAL OR SPIRITUAL FORM The sixth is THOU SHALL ALWAYS BRIBE TO BECOME REGENT SO THAT THOU WILL BE INCARNATED BY TUTTS SPIRIT The seventh is THOU SHALL ALWAYS BEG PLESSSSSSSSSSSSSS HHEELLLLPPPP FOR AID, MERCY, CB, ETC The eight is THOU SHALL ALWAYS SEE TO THAT A PAGAN LOSES ONE BEZERKER WHEN HE GOES AGAINST TUTT The ninth is THOU SHALL ALWAYS WASH YOUR MOUTH BEFORE YOU SPEAKING TO TUTT. The tenth is THOU SHALL ALWAYS REVEAL YOUR NEW LOCATION WHEN KILLED BY PAGAN BARBARIANS ~Silence~ -Tutt, honoured he be, amen -Tutt, honoured he be, amen Tasavaltan Trickster (22:30) June 21st, YR5 ~Loki runs into the tavern with an exalted look on his face. He hugs the bartender, he hugs Vanadis and everyone present in the Tavern~ - Loki, what is up ? Vanadis asks ~Loki kneels on the floor and raises his arms to the skies~ - I have seen you my lord and I shall convert those poor pagan barbarians to follow your path. ~Loki turns towards Vanadis~ - I had a vision after my classes with Reverend Don Carlos de Veggie. Tutt, honoured he be, has spoken to me. He wish me to tuttisize the whole kingdom. And I washed my mouth and asked how. He said that I should simplifie the ten Committments so that it would be understandable for our simple minds. And I should preach the Words for ten days and when ten days has gone Tutt will show us mercy and enter our kingdom again and lead us to glory. ~The Bartender and Vanadis kneels on the floor and praise the
Lord Tutt~ |
So you had fun and enjoyed the tutt-bible? Find more fun stuff here!
Bill Gates went up to heaven and was met by St. John. Seeing how he was so important, St. John gave him the option to go to Heaven or to Hell. Bill Gates said, "What are they like?" St. John shows him Heaven, which is ..... continued HERE!
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